Thanks for the entertainment you've provided so far in 2008, Aquarius. Since last January, you have sent a nagging demon packing and corrected a kink in your integrity. You've paid off a load of karmic debt left over from the old days and have even begun to dissolve an outdated psychosexual imprint. Before I announce your reward for all this good work, though, I'd like you to make more progress on tempering your obsessive side. See what you can do to convert it from a part-time liability into a full-time asset.

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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If you've ever watched The Simpsons TV show, you've probably heard Homer Simpson's favorite toast. "To alcohol," he proclaims, "the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." My own salute is different. "To the Divine Trickster formerly known as God," I say, "the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." Compose a prayer in which you simultaneously curse and thank the Primal Source.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.