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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of July 31st, 2008

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
I don't recommend that you go on a spiritual retreat at the Zen monastery near Mount Kumgang in North Korea. As exquisite as the place is, the repressive government's secret police are suspicious of tourists and would probably make your trip miserable. Likewise, don't take a vacation on the gorgeous beaches of eastern Somalia. Pirates prowl the coastal areas of that lawless land, and anyone can buy a hand grenade for $10 at the outdoor markets in nearby Mogadishu. No, Sagittarius, while it is an excellent time to leave your familiar haunts and expose yourself to exotic scenes, you should be acutely discerning about where you go. In my opinion, you need a sanctuary that simultaneously surprises you and deepens your sense of being at home in the world.


No one knows you better than you do. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge if you tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years.

May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning, and start dancing while you're still half-asleep.

May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses.

May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple.

May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds, and one extrasolar planet.

May you put a bumper sticker on your car or bike that says, "My god can kick your god's ass!"

If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate."

May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans.

May you actually kiss the earth now and then.

May you find many good excuses to say what physicist Niels Bohr once did: "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."

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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.