The Washington Post gave its readers an assignment: Come up with a statement they'd like to sneak on to President Bush's teleprompter during a major speech. Chances would be good that he'd probably just say it, right? The entries included "I shall make it my duty to eat a kitten for breakfast every day," "Global warming can be reversed if everyone just turned his air conditioner around," and "I wish to announce my conversion to Islam." I bring this to your attention, Pisces, because you're in peril of getting into a situation like that. Unless you're careful, you could end up saying things you don't mean or expressing yourself in ways that don't reflect your actual feelings. To make sure that doesn't happen, concentrate hard on communicating with maximum clarity and candor.

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead. You can also listen to my three-part long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2008.

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Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you.
For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery.
Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.
When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage.
Dream you're a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall.
Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you.
Buy seven used gowns worn by famous actresses to the Academy Awards show, and send them gratis to seven Guatemalan teenagers.
Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river.
Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.