The editors of the Our Dumb Century claim there are 40,000 jokes crammed into the book's 256 pages. It took 12 people two years to come up with this humor onslaught, they say, or four and a half jokes per person per day. I advise you to triple that output in the coming week, Capricorn. Even if you don't normally think of yourself as a comedian, the astrological omens suggest that you will be funnier than you've ever been. That's fortunate, because in order to get the most out of the upcoming opportunities, you should unleash a flood of wit and hilarity.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead. You can also listen to my three-part long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2008.

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The novelist Willa Cather once said: "One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness. One only stumbles upon them by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere."

But I disagree with Willa Cather. I share the view of Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, who wrote the book, How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People. They say that the number one trait of happy people is a serious determination to be happy. In other words, they say bliss is not an accident that you stumble upon by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere. Bliss is a habit that you can cultivate. Which theory would you prefer to believe?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.