Actor Cary Grant said he didn't necessarily advocate making love constantly. "Who can do it all the time?" he asked. "Though I do try." Your assignment in the coming weeks, Scorpio, as revealed by the astrological omens, is to attempt what Grant aspired to: Do the wild thing as much as possible. Get busy before breakfast on the kitchen table and on your mid-morning break in the closet. Duck out of work early so you can get your freak on. Get a hundred more strokes and licks and kisses in before bedtime. Et cetera. And if you don't have a lover to help you out in this noble cause, then boink the wind, screw the sky, hump your dreams, make love to the universe.

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead. You can also listen to my three-part long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2008.

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Declare amnesty for the part of you that you don’t love very well. Forgive that poor sucker. Hold its hand and take it out to dinner and a movie. Tactfully offer it a chance to make amends for the dumb things it has done. And then do a dramatic reading of this proclamation by the playwright Theodore Rubin: "I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.