"Men should be barred from holding public office for 100 years," says billionaire Ted Turner. "Men have been running the world for too long and they've made a mess of it." If women were in charge, he adds, "It would be a much more peaceful, prosperous, equitable world in a very short period of time. You'd have a huge shift away from military budgets and into education and health care." I agree with everything Turner said except when he implied that men should be prohibited from serving. That's totalitarian, the exact opposite of what I trust a feminine majority would usher in. From an astrological perspective, by the way, 2008 is prime time to move forcefully in the direction of bringing more women into power. And it so happens that Aries people of both genders are best able to lead the way. To jumpstart your ability to fulfill this potential, I urge you to take three actions in the coming week to foster female authority. Men, you may devote two of these to boosting your inner woman.

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2008. Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is about 6-9 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

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Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day.
Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs.
Think of the last place on earth you'd ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there.
Test to see if people are really listening to you by asserting that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.
Track down people who are impossible to love, and love them defiantly without expecting anything in return.
Steal lint from dryers in laundromats and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire.
Fantasize you're the child of divine parents who abandoned you when you were two days old, but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.
Once a year, say these words into a mirror: "It's bad luck to be superstitious."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.