The Onion newspaper reported on a South Carolina man who was so grateful for what God had done in the previous week that he put an extra $5 in the collection plate at church on Sunday. Brad Thaden was especially pleased with the nice weather and how well his kids had behaved. I expect that by February 18, Aries, you too might feel the urge to give Supreme Being a tip, or do whatever the equivalent might be in your world. Among the extra perks you could be blessed with: a deeper connection with a resource you've wanted to be closer to; the heating up of a promising alliance; a social upgrade that will make you feel more at home in the world; and a vision of where to go next with your ambitions.=

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2008. Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is about 6-9 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Mirabilia is a word that refers to events that inspire wonder, marvelous phenomena, small miracles; it's from the Latin mirabilia, "marvels." Here's your mirabilia report for the coming week: The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand 100 miles. Kind people are more likely than mean people to yawn when someone near them does. There are always so many fragments of spider legs floating in the air that you are constantly inhaling them wherever you go. Gregorian chants can cure dyslexia. Bob Hope donated half a million jokes to the Library of Congress. Bees perform a valuable service for the flowers from which they steal. The moon smells like exploded firecrackers. Physicists in Tennessee coaxed electric signals to travel through coaxial cable at four times the speed of light, even though the equipment they used was cheap stuff from Radio Shack. Revlon makes 177 different shades of lipstick.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.