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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of November 1st, 2007


(December 22-January 19)
The number of TV channels we have to choose from is growing steadily. Where I live, for example, there were a mere 61 options in 2000. Now I can choose from 104. And yet surveys show that most of us watch no more than 15 percent of what's available. If you'd like to be in alignment with cosmic rhythms in the coming week, Capricorn, you will make a concerted effort to sample a much larger selection than you usually do -- of TV channels and everything else. I suggest you expose yourself to an exuberant variety of foods, personalities, landscapes, styles, and cultures. Take in sights and sounds you don't normally even think of tuning in to.

Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES


Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day.

Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.

Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs.

Think of the last place on earth you'd ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there.

Test to see if people are really listening to you by asserting that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.

Steal lint from dryers in laundromats and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire.

Fantasize you're the child of divine parents who abandoned you when you were two days old, but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.

Meditate on how one of the symbols of plenitude in Nepal is a mongoose vomiting jewels.

Once a year on the day before your birthday, say these words into a mirror: "It's bad luck to be superstitious."

Start a club whose purpose is to produce an archive of controversial jokes and obscene limericks about beauty, truth, and love.
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.