A 30-foot-high shaft of concrete draped in straw sprouts from an altar at an amusement park in Changchun, China. According to the China Folk Culture Association, this phallic symbol celebrates "our ancestors' pursuit of happiness and prosperity." Even if you're a lesbian, I suggest you make a comparable tribute to divine virility, Aquarius. Perform a ritual to tap into the archetypal energy of the Wild Man. Make or buy a lucky talisman that will inspire the full bloom of your martial exuberance and primal will. Halloween costume suggestions: Dionysus, Pan, a shamanatrix with a strap-on, a transgender magician with a huge wand.

Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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Life is a vast and intricate conspiracy designed to keep us well supplied with blessings. What kind of blessings? Palatial homes, attractive lovers, lottery winnings, career success? Maybe. But just as likely: interesting surprises, unexpected challenges, gifts we hardly know what to do with, conundrums that force us to get smarter.

Novelist William Vollman referred to the latter types of blessings when he said that "the most important and enjoyable thing in life is doing something that's a complicated, tricky problem for you that you don't know how to solve."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.