Here are a few of the improvements I expect you to be enjoying by the end of October: a new, more practical treaty with your evil twin or nemesis; good reasons to eliminate superfluous middlemen and middlewomen who claim you can't live without them; a knack for avoiding other people's hells; the ability to adopt an enlightened version of tunnel vision and call on the power of having a one-track mind; and an enhanced grasp of the mysterious workings of money and the marketplace, which could ultimately lead to some financial magic.

Got enough clues to chew on for a while? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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When you’re an aspiring master of pronoia, you see the cracks in the facades as opportunities; inspiration erupts as you careen over bumps in the road; you love the enticing magic that flows from situations that other people regard as rough or crooked. "That which is not slightly distorted lacks sensible appeal," wrote poet Charles Baudelaire, "from which it follows that irregularity—that is to say, the unexpected, surprise and astonishment—is an essential part and characteristic of beauty."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.