Select a date (required) and sign (optional) 

Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of September 20th, 2007


(January 20- February 18)
"Dear Rob: Every night recently, I've dreamt I'm committing crimes like fraud, robbery, and embezzlement. (No murders, thank God!) It's getting so I'm not that happy about going to sleep. I feel bad about the mayhem I'm perpetrating. (Although I did have a fun car chase once.) I don't dream about the fruits of the crimes, just the criminal activities themselves. Is this something Aquarians in general are going through? I can't tell if I feel guilty about something, am psyching myself up to be an outlaw, or have just been watching too many episodes of 'Law & Order.' -On the Lam." Dear On the Lam: My guess is that your dreams (like those of many Aquarians) are prodding you to find more meaningful, productive ways to express creative rebellion in your waking life.

Need more help with your riddles? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out you EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES


Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day.
Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs.
Think of the last place on earth you'd ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there.
Test to see if people are really listening to you by asserting that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.
Track down people who are impossible to love, and love them defiantly without expecting anything in return.
Steal lint from dryers in laundromats and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire.
Fantasize you're the child of divine parents who abandoned you when you were two days old, but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.
Once a year, say these words into a mirror: "It's bad luck to be superstitious."

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.