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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of July 19th, 2007

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
Here's how you damage the Aries soul, according to astrologer Steven Forrest: You bore it, you deprive it of adventure, and you starve it of chances to grow evermore courageous. I'm worried this could happen in the coming weeks. According to my reading of the omens, you may be tempted to get involved with things that are too easy for you. Here's what you can do to make sure this doesn't come to pass: Invite yourself into unpredictable situations. Give yourself assignments that will force you out of your comfort zone. Fall in love with questions that will turn your mind inside-out.


Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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The "Kumulipo" is an old Hawaiian prayer chant that poetically describes the creation of the world. The word literally means "beginning-in-deep-darkness." Here darkness doesn't connote gloom and evil. Rather, it's about the inscrutability of the embryonic state; the obscure chaos that reigns before germination. Talk about the last time you dwelt in kumulipo.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
I'm drinking a toast to my grade-school teachers, five of whom were stern spinsters in their 50s and 60s. I may not have esteemed them when we were together those seven hours a day, 180 days a year; I may have been alternately bored and alienated by their nagging me to learn. But from my current vantage point, I'm ripe with gratitude: pleased with my ability to wield the English language and do the arithmetic my business requires and hold in my imagination a clear vision of the planet's geography. Those maestros taught me well, and I'm in awe of their tireless efforts. Now I suggest you do something similar to what I just did, Taurus. Feel a flood of thanks for the helpers and teachers from your past (even the inadvertent ones) whom you have never appreciated sufficiently.


Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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Imagine that you have been relieved of your responsibilities for a given time. They will be taken care of by people you trust. You won't have to work to make money during this grace period, but will be given all you need. Nor will you have to clean your house, wash your clothes, or buy and make your food. Now here's the big question: What will you do now that you are free to do anything you like?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
A few years ago, a high school football team in Colorado was reprimanded when officials discovered that players had soaked their uniforms with an oily cooking spray before a big game. Though there was no specific regulation against it in the rulebook, the greasy stuff made it harder for their opponents to tackle them, giving them an advantage. I'm recommending their ploy to you in the coming week, Gemini--at least metaphorically. You will benefit from being slipperier, more elusive, and difficult to pin down than usual. I'd also like to see you be extraordinarily cagey, foxy, and tricky. To help focus your mind on this assignment, buy a can of cooking spray and create an altar around it.


Need more help with your riddles? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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If I ever produce a self-help manual called The Reverse Psychology of Getting Everything You Want, it will discuss the following paradoxes:

a. People are more willing to accommodate your longings if you're not greedy or grasping.

b. A good way to achieve your desires is to cultivate the feeling that you've already achieved them.

c. Whatever you're longing for has been changed by your pursuit of it. It's not the same as it was when you felt the first pangs of desire. In order to make it yours, then, you will have to modify your ideas about it.

d. Be careful what you wish for because if your wish does materialize it will require you to change in ways you didn't foresee.

Review your own life and identify experiences that exemplify these four principles.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Imagine all the life processes that unfold outside of your conscious awareness: your body digesting your food and circulating your blood; trees using carbon dioxide, water, and sunlight to synthesize their nourishment; micro-organisms in the soil beneath your feet endlessly toiling away to create humus. You don't perceive any of these things directly; they're invisible to you. What other growth and transformation might be going on in secret, Cancerian? This is the perfect time to tune in to all the vitalizing alchemy that is usually hidden from you. In a sense, you have X-ray vision.


No one knows you better than you do. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge if you tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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"Is it bad to live without a hell?" poet Pablo Neruda asks in The Book of Questions. Let's add these queries to his: Is it dangerous to live without an enemy? Is it naive to think you can achieve great success without the driving motivation that comes from having ideas you hate? There are thousands of correct answers to these questions. What are yours?

Consider the issue from another angle. Dentists love tooth decay. Treating cavities provides them with a steady source of income. Likewise, exterminators are dependent on termites, lawyers need crimes, and priests are hungry for sinners. Lots of people have symbiotic connections with nasty stuff. In fact, isn't it true that most of us nurture our feelings for the things we love to despise and fear?

What's your favorite poison or adversary? Assume that your exposure to pronoia is changing you in ways that will require you to update your relationship with it. Speculate on how you'll go about this task.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
How should we visualize the phase you're in? Are you coming back home after a harrowing journey to the abyss? Or are you about to launch a quest straight into the heart of the dawn's blinding promise? Paradoxically enough, Leo, you're doing both. You're coming and going at the same time. You're graduating from an ancient lesson and beginning a new course of study. Hints of the future are mingled with the last gasps of the past.


What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny? For more hints, listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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Don't make nasty comments about yourself behind your own back.

Do play soccer in bunny slippers at dawn in a supermarket parking lot with a gang of sadomasochistic stockbrokers who've promised to teach you the Balinese monkey chant.

Don't decorate your thigh with a sloppy tattoo of the devil pushing a lawn mower.

Do wear a t-shirt that says, "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

Don't glide into a bar, scout around for the person whose face has the most pain etched in it, and ask that person to come home with you.

Do eat ripe organic strawberries that have been genetically modified and irradiated, and do chain-smoke Marlboros as you peddle your exercise bicycle, and do wander through a garbage dump while listening to Mozart on your iPod.

Don't get hooked on the fantasy that there are only two kinds of people, those who align themselves with the forces of light and those who align themselves with the forces of darkness.

Do start an organization called POMP (Proud Owners of Multiple Personalities), dedicated to erasing negative stereotypes about healthy non-schizophrenics who enjoy being a community of many different selves.

Don't lie on a floor surrounded by wine-stained poetry books, crumpled Matisse prints, abandoned underwear, and half-eaten bowls of corn flakes as you stare up at the ceiling with a mad gaze, muttering gibberish and waving your hands as if swatting away demons.

Do run along the tops of cars during a traffic jam, escaping from bad guys as you make your way to a helicopter that takes you to a spot hovering over an erupting volcano, into which you drop the Buns of Steel video.

Don't put your soul up for auction on the eBay website.

Do write a cookbook filled with recipes you've channeled from dead celebrities.

If you come upon a lamp with a genie in it, don't wish you had a magic wand.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
"Write the bad things that are done to you in sand," says an Arab proverb, "but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble." That's perfect advice for you in the coming days. Why? Because I believe you'll be cheated or slighted in a way that will have only minor, short-term consequences, whereas on the other hand you'll be the beneficiary of a loophole or the recipient of a generous blessing that should reverberate for a long time.


Got enough clues to chew on for a while? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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The factor most likely to drive us to addiction or illness is a lack of intimate contact with spirit. We all need a daily dose of vastness. Paradoxically, many of us would also benefit from more microscopic vision. Because we're so deprived of divine connection, we're half-dreaming all the time; our unconscious yearning for our eternal source makes our minds wander and saps our energy to dig in and master the gritty details that are right in front of us.

Practice seeing the little things. Gather glimpses of colors, shapes, tones, and shifts you usually ignore.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, born under the sign of Libra, has been described by a fellow teacher as "a cross between a cloud, a snail, and a piece of heavy machinery -- a true religious presence." He translates his lofty visions into the most intimate and practical terms, even providing suggestions about how to get more spiritual inspiration out of breathing, eating, and walking. Take a similar approach in the coming weeks, Libra. Bring heaven all the way down to earth. Make the smallest details of your life reflect your highest ideals.


How much do you want to know about your destiny? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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Every fundamentalist divides the world into two camps, those who agree with him and like him and help him, and those who don't. There is only one right way to interpret the world—according to the ideas the fundamentalist believes to be true—and a million wrong ways.

The fundamental attitude of all fundamentalists is to take everything way too seriously and too personally and too literally. Imagination is a sin and a crime. Correct belief is the only virtue. Every fundamentalist is committed to waging war against the imagination unless the imagination is enslaved to his or her belief system.

And here's the bad news: Like almost everyone in the world, each of us has our own share of the fundamentalist virus. It may not be as dangerous to the collective welfare as, say, the fundamentalism of Islamic terrorists or Christian politicians or CEOs who act as if making a financial profit is the supreme good or scientists who deny the existence of the 96 percent of reality imperceptible to the five senses. Our fundamentalism is not as virulent as theirs.

But still: We are infected, you and I, with fundamentalism. What are we going to do about it?

I say we practice taking everything less seriously and less personally and less literally.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
The modern English word "weird" is derived from the Old English term wyrd, meaning "destiny." By the late Middle Ages, wyrd had evolved into a concept similar to the Eastern notion of karma. It implied that the momentum of past events plays a strong role in shaping the future, but that human willpower can nevertheless also have a hand in creating upcoming events. In some uses, wyrd could even mean "the power to control destiny," as exemplified by the three Weird Sisters of Shakespeare's MacBeth. I bring this up, Scorpio, because your Wyrd Factor is pretty high these days. While the consequences of your past are certainly impinging on your present to some degree, you've rarely had a greater ability to override them through the force of your intentions.


Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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You're a star--and so am I. I'm a genius--and so are you. Your success encourages my brilliance, and my charisma enhances your power. Your victory doesn't require my defeat, and vice versa.

Those are the rules in the New World--quite unlike the rules in the Old World, where zero-sum games are the norm, and only one of us can win each time we play.

In the New World, you don't have to tone down or apologize for your prowess, because you love it when other people shine. You exult in your own excellence without regarding it as a sign of inherent superiority. As you ripen more and more of your latent aptitude, you inspire the rest of us to claim our own idiosyncratic magnificence.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
"Most people experience 'cubicle creativity,'" says businessman Gerald Haman. "The size of their ideas is directly proportional to the space they have in which to think." Just in case this is true, Sagittarius, I urge you to expand the box you occupy while dreaming up solutions to problems and fantasizing about the adventures you want to embark on. It's time to stretch the boundaries in every way you can imagine.


Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your destiny, check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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At the heart of the pronoiac way of life is an apparent conundrum: You can have anything you want if you'll just ask for it in an unselfish way. The trick to making this work is to locate where your deepest ambition coincides with the greatest gift you have to give. Figure out exactly how the universe, by providing you with abundance, can improve the lot of everyone whose life you touch. Seek the fulfillment of your fondest desires in such a way that you become a fount of blessings.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
"Dear Rob: Last night I dreamt that I finally met the soulmate I've been looking for all these years. We were making love in a limousine that was driving us to the church where we would be married. Then a terrible thing happened. Right there in my arms, my perfect lover turned into a toothless, stinking geezer whose sparse white hair was falling out in my hands. I shrieked and ran out of the car. Can you interpret my dream for me? -Crushed Capricorn." Dear Crushed: Your dream may mean that your romantic ideals have become outmoded; your long-standing fantasies about what constitutes your perfect lover are no longer relevant. It's probably time to adjust your definitions.


Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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Every act of genius, Carl Jung said, is an act contra naturam: against nature. Indeed, every effort to achieve psychological integration and union with the divine requires a knack for working against the grain. The 18th-century mystic Jacob Boehme recommended the same technique. The great secret to becoming enlightened, he said, is "to walk in all things contrary to the world." Qabalist teacher Paul Foster Case agreed: "The basis of the spiritual approach to life, the foundation of the everyday practice of a person who lives the life of obedience to esoteric law, is the reversal of the more usual ways of thinking, speaking and doing."

Name the ways you already use this approach, and brainstorm about others you might like to try.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
To get in a mood to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents, read Dara Wier's poem "A Modern Version of the Way the Rosary Was Once Said Throughout Western Europe in the Late Middle Ages." What she expresses there is exactly the attitude you should cultivate. Here's an excerpt: "I'm not sewing velvet patches on a woolen blanket, not putting silver buttons back where they belong, not sweeping or folding, not in my right mind, not knowing what I owe or to whom I should bow down or thank or praise, no neither am I storing up good deeds I'll need when I need bailing out, nor do I wish to settle old scores, no not keeping wolves at bay, and I'm not disturbing antbeds, not in touch with fine madness, no, I'm not hiding under the kitchen table not wanting to listen anymore, nor am I staying awake in case I might miss something, no, I'm not staring forever into a fire, nor walking through a rainstorm into a cypress grove, no, and I'm not waiting for lightning to strike."


What blessings will life bring you? What challenges will you be invited to dive into? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Life is a vast and intricate conspiracy designed to keep us well supplied with blessings. What kind of blessings? Palatial homes, attractive lovers, lottery winnings, career success? Maybe. But just as likely: interesting surprises, unexpected challenges, gifts we hardly know what to do with, conundrums that force us to get smarter.

Novelist William Vollman referred to the latter types of blessings when he said that "the most important and enjoyable thing in life is doing something that's a complicated, tricky problem for you that you don't know how to solve."

Give an example of this kind of blessing from your own life.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
While browsing at the garden store, I saw an item that would be perfect for your current metaphorical needs: rose gloves. They're specially designed to protect you while working with those lush but thorny flowers. They feature padded palms, reinforced fingertips, and extra-long gauntlets that safeguard your flesh up to the elbow. As you play with and care for your own metaphorical version of the paradoxical rose in the coming days, I suggest that you arm yourself with equivalent protective measures.


Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR DESTINY from JULY through DECEMBER 2007.

To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2007."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Have you ever had permission to indulge in a marathon of braggadocio? Have you ever gotten an invitation to bluster on endlessly about your own charms without feeling even a touch of guilt or inhibition? I hereby grant you such a license right now.

When you're ready, carry out the exercise called Brag Therapy. Grab a good listener or a recording device, and boast extravagantly about yourself for at least 20 minutes. Expound in exhaustive detail why you're so wonderful and why the world would be a better place if everyone would just act more like you.

Don't be humble or cautious. Go too far. Heap extreme glory on yourself. Brazenly proclaim the fabulous qualities about you that no one has ever fully articulated or appreciated. Don't forget to extol the prodigious flaws and vices that make you so special.

What does this have to do with pronoia? When you audaciously identify your existing gifts, you set yourself up to become a magnet for even greater abundance. In fact, we recommend that you treat yourself to a Brag Therapy session regularly.

To whet your imagination, read an excerpt from the boast of Eric Baer, a participant in a Brag Therapy session I hosted in Milwaukee. "I have opposable thumbs," Eric exulted. "I can read. I breathe all the way through the night even though I'm asleep. I have access to emporiums where I can choose from 25 different brands of toilet paper. I know how to turn food into energy. I live where knuckleheads run everything and yet nothing ever blows up."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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