Welcome to the Season of the Oxymoron. During this unsettling yet intriguing time, you'll have a poetic license to celebrate all the paradoxes that drive you half-crazy and teach you how to be vividly alive. Keep in mind that there are relatively negative oxymorons, like "holy war," "military intelligence," "boring orgasm," and "selfish gifts," while there are also positive varieties, like "lyrical logic," "reverent rage," "wild discipline," and "aggressive sensitivity." I urge you to avoid the former and embrace the latter.

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

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Congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heart's beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. Any residues of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You are becoming telepathically linked to the world's entire host of secret teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised as convenience store clerks.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.