You're not wearing a chastity belt right now, right? You don't have on shoes that are so tight that they constrict your sense of adventure? And please tell me you're not lugging around toxic beliefs about the impossibility of experiencing authentic joy in this "sick, twisted, miserable world we live in." But if by chance you have victimized yourself with any of the debilitations I just named--or any other form of self-torture for the matter--please take this opportunity to unburden yourself. The time has come for you to explore the mysteries of pleasure, happiness, and outright euphoria. I hope that in 2007, you will fully exploit the new title I now anoint you with: Bliss Warrior.

This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Tune in! Start brainstorming about the adventures that could be in store for you in the coming months. You can also access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes by calling 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.