Happy Holy Daze, Leo! In 2007, I predict that you'll experience a metaphorical version of something that's rare in nature: a gentle birth. There'll be a big new addition to your life, in other words, and its arrival won't hurt a bit--may even feel downright ecstatic. Here's some more mysterious good news: In the coming months, you will have the power to learn from the moon, converse with the dead, and remember your ancient origins. And get this: The adventures that amuse you most could involve foam rubber, distant bells, smoke rising from manholes, plums from Damascus, and exotic trophies. One more thing, Leo: In 2007, brand new bedtime stories will be mandatory.

This week my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES offer you a preview of the major themes you'll be working and playing with in 2007. Beginning December 26, I'll begin a three-part, three-week series in which I'll talk in-depth about your long-range forecast in the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Tune in!

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
At a concert in California, devotional singer Krishna Das told a story of escorting his revered teachers, a frail old Indian couple, to an acupuncturist in New York. They had to walk through a neighborhood dominated by strip clubs, prostitutes, and drug dealers. Every few feet, a new salesperson approached with an offer of crack, weed, crank, or sexual adventures.

Krishna Das worried about subjecting his beloved guides to such a degrading experience, but they were unfazed. "This is heaven," said the woman. When a surprised Krishna Das asked what she meant, she replied, "Heaven is any place where one's needs can be met."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.