You should and could be the zodiac's premier networker in 2007. The connections you foster and the deals you broker can save the world--or at least your local segment of the world. In order to pull it all off with maximum effectiveness, you should also be the zodiac's premier fun-maker. Throw parties, tell jokes, and constantly invite people to play harder and take themselves less seriously. What can you do to prepare for this destiny? Start by getting yourself holiday gifts that will help you fulfill your assignments. How about installing a backyard water park, for instance? (Neiman-Marcus offers such a thing in its Christmas catalog.) Or about some comedy lessons from a person like the humor coach in the film Borat? Happy Holy Daze, Aquarius!

This week my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES offer you a preview of the major themes you'll be working and playing with in 2007. Beginning December 26, I'll begin a three-part, three-week series in which I'll talk in-depth about your long-range forecast in the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Tune in!

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The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

"What do you want more than anything else?" the sage asked.

"To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself," the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

"What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?" the sage inquired.

"Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air," gasped the student.

"Excellent," beamed the sage. "As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve your goal."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.