My colleague Ro Loughran has an interesting theory about astrology. She starts with the hypothesis that some version of reincarnation is true. Then she proposes that in each lifetime, a soul chooses a particular astrological sign because the qualities of that sign are what the soul wants to learn about. In other words, being born a Gemini doesn't mean you're automatically a wizard at being a Gemini. On the contrary, in this lifetime you've become a Gemini in order to master the art of being one. You're here to get the hang of what it's like to be smart and versatile and precise and witty. Your assignment is to keep yourself endlessly entertained and build a strong center of gravity as you juggle a variety of activities and ideas and friends. This week is a perfect time to meditate on how lucky you are to have been given this gift, and to recommit yourself to using it to the fullest.

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are short, sweet bursts of illumination delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

My EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are weekly spoken-word reports on your destiny. They're three to four minutes long.

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The dangers of excessive politeness are perfectly exemplified in the medieval legend of Parzival, Arthur's purest knight. His quest for the Holy Grail leads him to a castle where he is welcomed by a wounded lord. At dinner, a mysterious bowl captivates Parzival's attention. He's dying to know more about it, but he holds his tongue. His training as a knight has taught him that it's uncourteous to express too much curiosity.

Tragically, he doesn't realize that he has arrived at the very place where his quest could be satisfied. The wounded lord is actually the fisher king, the marvelous bowl is the Grail, and he is being presented with a magical test. The test consists of a simple task: to ask about the bowl. Because Parzival fails to do so, the king doesn't reveal the secret and doesn't give him the Grail.

The next morning, Parzival wakes up to find the castle empty, and he leaves having missed the very opportunity he wanted most.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.