If you're ever in your life going to be hired to model underwear or get invited by a magazine to expound on your love-making secrets, it will happen soon. If you ever thought it might be fun to see what might happen if you tried to hypnotize someone with your animal magnetism or seduce someone with your telepathic magic, give it a go now. If you've been waiting for the perfect moment to gather rosary beads, the Torah, a Buddhist prayer wheel, a five-pointed silver star, and a statue of the Hindu goddess Shakti, and then unleash a sexy prayer for your supreme dream in the direction of every deity that might listen, this would be a good time.

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are short, sweet bursts of illumination delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

My EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are weekly spoken-word reports on your destiny. They're three to four minutes long.

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Notice how you feel as you speak the following: "The strong, independent part of me resisted the embarrassing truth for a long time, but I finally came to accept that I'm someone who craves vast amounts of love. Ever since I surrendered to this need, it doesn't nag me all the time, as it used to. In fact, it feels comforting, like a source of sweetness that doesn't go away. I never thought I'd say this, but I've come to treasure the feeling of having a voracious yearning to be loved."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.