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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of October 26th, 2006

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
A sizable proportion of Christians are addicted to pornography, according to a poll conducted by a major Christian website. It that's true, it's dramatic proof of what psychologists say: that we're prone to be unhealthily obsessed and possessed by whatever we demonize. Meditate on how this theme might apply to you, Gemini. Investigate whether you're being hurt by your scorn and anger and hatred. And please note that I'm not advising you to protect yourself from people or things you judge as bad, but rather from your attitudes about them. Halloween costume suggestion: a fundamentalist porn star.


My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are short, sweet bursts of illumination delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

My EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are weekly spoken-word reports on your destiny. They're three to four minutes long.

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Mirabilia is a word that refers to events that inspire wonder, marvelous phenomena, small miracles; it's from the Latin mirabilia, "marvels." Here's your mirabilia report for the coming week: The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand 100 miles. Kind people are more likely than mean people to yawn when someone near them does. There are always so many fragments of spider legs floating in the air that you are constantly inhaling them wherever you go. Gregorian chants can cure dyslexia. Bob Hope donated half a million jokes to the Library of Congress. Bees perform a valuable service for the flowers from which they steal. The moon smells like exploded firecrackers. Physicists in Tennessee coaxed electric signals to travel through coaxial cable at four times the speed of light, even though the equipment they used was cheap stuff from Radio Shack. Revlon makes 177 different shades of lipstick.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.