U.S. Patent number 5,996,568 is an apparatus for safely shooting hot dogs into a crowd. Patent 4,834,212 is a device into which someone can scream and howl without bothering anyone nearby, allowing her to vent pent-up emotions. Patent 2,272,154 is a ladder that spiders can use to climb out of a bath. Patent 4,247,283 is a gadget that allows a trumpet to be used as a flamethrower while being played. These are exactly the kinds of imaginative innovations I urge you to work on, Libra. Your inventiveness is at an all-time high, as is everyone's need for your inventiveness.

*
As you know, I give away these weekly Free Will Astrology horoscopes free. I plan to continue doing that indefinitely. I do want to make a living from doing what I love, though, which is why I have two other horoscope features you can spend money on if you're so moved.

I'm now offering DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES -- short, sweet bursts of illumination delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or other mobile device.

I've also got EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES -- weekly spoken-word musings on your destiny that run about three to four minutes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.