At any single moment, approximately 0.7 percent of the people on our planet are drunk--at least in a normal week. In the coming days, however, I believe that a sudden profusion of intoxicated Aquarians will ensure that the global average rises to at least 1.5 percent. To be totally accurate, not all of those Aquarians will be sloshed on alcohol or zonked on drugs. Some will be flying high solely on the strength of their exhilarating adventures in the unknown, while others will have transcended the everyday trance through the power of their boundary-shattering meditations or their breakthrough love-making. Don't you dare miss out on this dizzying opportunity to lose your mind in the most constructive way possible.

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As you know, I give away these weekly Free Will Astrology horoscopes free. I plan to continue doing that indefinitely. I do want to make a living from doing what I love, though, which is why I have two other horoscope features you can spend money on if you're so moved.

I'm now offering DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES -- short, sweet bursts of illumination delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or other mobile device.

I've also got EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES -- weekly spoken-word musings on your destiny that run about three to four minutes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.