If you think you need to be fixed, toned down, made over, or recreated from scratch, you're reading the wrong horoscope column. Likewise, if you imagine that you're a wounded animal in desperate need of rescue or a helpless victim cowering in your closet, I'm not the proper consultant for you. But if you long to be fiercely understood, shaken awake, and dared to discover your higher calling, you've come to the right place. Now let's get started on the next phase of my pet project, which is to inspire you to deal with what philosopher Alan Watts called "the taboo against knowing who you are." There are secrets that your unconscious mind has been longing to reveal to your conscious mind, and conditions are now favorable for that shocking yet pleasurable communication to unfold.

Normally my Expanded Audio Horoscopes cover just a week at a time. But this week, I'm offering you explorations of the entire second half of 2006. To hear my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM FORECAST FOR YOUR LIFE, check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.

You can also access the readings by phone at 1-900-950-7700 or 1-877-873-4888. (If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425.) The cost is $1.99 per minute.