I'm reasonably certain that a supermodel wearing antlers and clown face paint will soon offer you $10,000 for the right to spank you on national TV. It'll be that kind of week, Leo: a time when opportunities will come your way cloaked in seemingly absurd circumstances. You might also expect that a homeless person with the flu will offer to lead you to a dumpster in which there's a suitcase containing a priceless 2,500-year-old archaeological artifact. APRIL FOOL! It's true that this week will bring more opportunities than usual, and they'll probably all have some odd twist--but not quite that odd.

For more clues and insights, listen to my three-part, IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM FORECASTS for your life in 2006, as well as your forecast for the coming week.

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Scientists have confirmed what we all knew: You do indeed have a little voice in your head that warns you when you’re about to do something dumb. It’s called the anterior cingulate cortex, according to white-coated authorities at Carnegie-Mellon University. If you’re receptive to it, it’s as good as having a guardian angel. "Don’t do it," the voice whispers when you’re on the verge of locking your keys in your car or leaving the bar with the cute drunk you just met. "Go back," it murmurs as you start to walk away from a huge, though initially inconvenient, opportunity.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.