This would be an excellent week to tilt all the paintings on the walls of your home so they're hanging a bit crooked, refer to yourself as the "Wizard of Desserts," and stand in a mud puddle up to your ankles. I suggest that you further take advantage of the astrological opportunities by using a felt-tip pen to draw tattoos of magic symbols on your body, making love with grocery bags over your heads, and reciting dirty limericks in front of people who think you're too serious. It's high time for you to lose your cool.

For more clues and insights, listen to my three-part, IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM FORECASTS for your life in 2006, as well as your forecast for the coming week.

Go here for free access to parts of my new book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Sorry the column was posted so late this week. I've been having technical difficulties with my website.