I'm here at San Francisco's Samovar Tea Lounge to meditate on your horoscope. I've decided that the beverage most likely to put me in the right mood is "Monkey-Picked Iron Goddess of Mercy" tea. That's because my analysis of your astrological omens reveals that there'll be something both steely and soft about your immediate future, both willful and delicate. "Iron Goddess of Mercy" is an apt metaphor for the influences you should seek. Furthermore, I suspect you'll need the intervention of an agile and vibrant animal energy, which is suggested by the "Monkey-Picked" aspect of the tea. Using the Samovar menu as a divinatory tool for generating even more oracular information, I've come up with three additional phrases to capture the quality of your life in the coming days: velvety nuances of roasted chestnuts and eucalyptus; tastes that are zealously smoky yet gossamer and satiny; and not for the sinless.

For more clues and insights, listen to my three-part, IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM FORECASTS for your life in 2006, as well as your forecast for the coming week.

Go here for free access to parts of my new book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.