There's no delicate way to say this, so please stop reading and come back next week if you're offended by graphic references to pleasure. According to my analysis of the long-term astrological omens, you're on tap to experience more orgasms in 2006 than you have in any previous year. On average, your climaxes are also likely to be longer and more intense. Other varieties of bliss, rapture, and joy will probably occur at record levels, as well. Think you can handle it?

Normally my Expanded Audio Horoscopes cover just a week at a time. But the past two weeks and this week, I am offering explorations of the entire year ahead. To hear part three of my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM FORECAST FOR YOUR LIFE IN 2006, check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. You can also listen to part one from two weeks ago and part two from last week.

You can also access the readings by phone at 1-900-950-7700 or 1-877-873-4888. (If you live in Canada, call 1-888-499-4425.) The cost is $1.99 per minute.