Homeopathic Medicine Spell #1

(excerpted from the revised and expanded edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia)

Here's a bit of explanation about the origins of the Homeopathic Medicine Spells, of which there are five in the book PRONOIA.

Being a true devotee of pronoia doesn't mean you will never have another difficult or painful experience. It doesn't obligate you to pretend that everything is perfectly right with the world. You don't have to cover your eyes whenever you come into proximity to a daily newspaper.

On the other hand, we're not going to waste our valuable space or your precious energy by giving equal time to stories of tragedy, failure, and tumult. They get far more than their fair share of attention everywhere else. Future historians might even conclude that our age suffered from a collective obsessive-compulsive disorder: the pathological need to repetitively seek out reasons for how bad life is.

Still, we feel the need to push a bit further in our acknowledgment of all the confusing evils of the world. We realize that what we've said so far may not be sufficient to satisfy the paranoid cynics, who include among their number many well-respected thinkers. Unless we demonstrate that we have some mastery of their ideology, they'll dismiss us as intellectual pussies. They will need proof that we're familiar with the data they favor.

We've decided, therefore, to launch a preemptive strike that will make it harder for the paranoids to dismiss us pronoiacs as naive optimists. On the next page and at four other places in this book, we've created Homeopathic Medicine Spells. They're designed to recognize the evils of the world, but in a controlled manner that prevents them from poisoning you. In this way, we can also practice what we preach, subverting any tendencies we might have toward fanaticism and unilateralism.

Each Homeopathic Medicine Spell consists of a contained space within which lies a recitation of Very Bad Things. The border around each space is a magical seal that we consecrated during a ritual invocation of the Cackling Goddess Who Eternally Creates Us Anew. Inspired through communion with Her fierce jokes, we also surrounded each seal with good mojo in the form of word charms and talismanic symbols.

As you gaze at the Homeopathic Medicine Spells, you'll be building up your protection against the dangers named inside the contained space. You'll also get intuitions about how to dissolve the pop nihilistic toxins within you that resonate with those dangers.


In case you can't read the fine print within the boundaries of the talisman, here it is a little bigger:

The earth is in the midst of the greatest mass extinction since the disappearance of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. Half of all species may be exterminated by 2100. The Air Force has fighter planes with radar scopes that can detect the body heat of an infant from 20,000 feet. About 37 million Americans take antidepressants. Only 15 percent of the shoppers in a grocery store express line obey the ten-item limit. Heart disease is the worst epidemic since the medieval plague. By the time girls reach seventeen, 78 percent are unhappy with their bodies. Living within one's means is un-American; the economy would collapse if consumers did it. The U.S. is the biggest arms dealer in the world, having sold more than $178 billion of weaponry since 1992, much of it to non-democratic regimes whose soldiers commit human rights abuses. Sperm counts are falling. Many clothes worn by Americans are made by youngsters working long hours in brutal conditions for paltry wages. Some of the biggest banks in the world turn a blind eye to money laundering. The average home is swimming in a noxious cocktail of chemicals that have been linked to allergies, cancers, and infertility. Three million children are abused and three million women are the victims of domestic violence in America every year. Blatantly totalitarian government is unnecessary because the mass audience eagerly participates in its own brainwashing. Studies show no relationship between an eyewitnesss confidence and the accuracy of his testimony. The Red Cross says half of all war casualties are civilians caught in the crossfire. Aggressive advertising to children is increasing. True "personality" as we know it has begun to die out as more people perform imitations of celebrities they admire. The U.S. has the most overweight population and the highest infant mortality rate in the West. The U.S. has the world's largest prison population and the highest rate of incarceration. Most pesticides on the market have not been tested for their ability to cause genetic damage. "People do not want God, people want to enslave God to their whim," said Da Avabhasa. Americans waste $12 billion of food a year. Many seemingly nice people cynically use honesty, cheerfulness, and openness to manipulate others into doing things their way. Over 80 million Americans live on incomes estimated by the U.S. Department of Labor as below a "comfortable adequacy," and 35 million of these live below the poverty level. The world's rain forests are disappearing at a rate of 80 acres per minute. He who dies with the most toys does NOT win. A million school children are treated with powerful mind control drugs for "hyperactivity" every year, with side effects like weight loss, growth retardation, and acute psychosis. Everyone tells at least one lie every day.