Live from the Gleamtime

You're tuned to the Decompositionary Miracle

Your reliable source for communiqués from the Clandestine Indigenous Revolutionary Committee in Charge of the Ingenious Liberation of All People of Earth

Featuring the antidote for all the other antidotes

Reflecting the face you had before you were born

Featuring good arguments for why you should change your mind about everything

Here we are again, beauty and truth fans. Your personal diplomatic representatives to the Queen of Heaven. Lonely lovers of all sentient beings and all-around global village idiots.

As you can see, we've set our hair on fire -- don't worry, it's treated with flame retardants -- while juggling ancient goddess figurines unearthed in Çatal Hüyük as we balance atop leather medicine balls in our glass slippers and snakeskin underwear. All for you. All in the quest to seduce you into knowing exactly what you want.

So what do you want, anyway, beauty and truth fans?

What?

You want to know what we want?

Well, to be truthful, our greatest desire is to become anonymous celebrities with enough access to your imagination that you will allow us to daimonically possess you. Not demonically possess you, like the entertainment criminals.

What's the difference?

The English word demon refers to an evil spirit, while daimon is an ancient Greek term meaning a personal guardian angel or a supernatural being that serves as an intermediary between humans and gods.

When entertainment criminals demonically possess you, they extirpate your imagination and replace it with their own decadent simulation of an imagination.

When we eaters of cruelty daimonically possess you, on the other hand, we devour the fake imagination that the entertainment criminals have infected you with. We then serve as kick-ass guardians at the threshold of your awareness, preventing the entertainment criminals' poison from slipping into you for as long as it takes you to establish a reliable link to your own best teacher--the ingenious angel in your own higher brain.

The Televisionary Oracle

is brought to you by

Breakfast of Amazons cereal.

Made from organically grown artichokes, pomegranates, wild rice,

and the purest menstrual blood available,

obtained exclusively from authentic, initiated shamanatrixes.

Try it with Virgin's Milk,

the alchemical elixir

formulated especially to synergize

with the unique flavor

and healing effects of Breakfast of Amazons.

Or eat it right out of the box.

Breakfast of Amazons cereal:

for those who like their eucharist blood

to be untainted by the murder of a god.