This is how spells are broken:

by changing your name

every day for a hundred days

by bragging about

what you can't do and don't have

by telling nothing but lies for 24 hours

by staring at yourself

in the mirror

for hours

by confessing profound secrets

to people who aren't particularly interested

by forcing yourself to laugh nonstop for one hour

by acting with absolutely no ulterior motives

by dancing alone

all night

in slow motion

with your clothes on inside-out

by seeking out information

that renders your political beliefs irrelevant

by pretending to be dead

for three days

by burning down the dreamhouse

where your childhood keeps repeating itself

by communing with the Televisionary Oracle

Artemisia went to her acupuncturist, Dr. Lily Ming, in need of relief . for her menstrual distress. Ming gave her more than the usual array of needles, lightly pounding the nail of Artemisia's big toe with a small silver hammer for a few minutes.

"Why?" Artemisia asked.

"Good for the uterus," the doctor replied.

Indeed, Artemisia's cramps diminished as the doctor thumped, and she was not troubled by them for the duration of her period.

After the session, the usually taciturn Ming surprised Artemisia by disclosing a traumatic event from her own childhood. It seems that during the occupation of her native Manchuria, she was forced to witness Japanese soldiers torturing people she loved. Their favorite atrocity was using hammers to drive bamboo shoots through their victims' big toes.

The moral of the story? Dr. Ming has accomplished the feat of reversing the meaning of her most traumatic imprint. Can you do the same? Your secret identity and your magical nickname are brought to you by Dyke Punk Witch Talismans.

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