The Televisionary Oracle presents

ARGUMENTS WITH GODDESS!

Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by,

ready to study the protests and complaints

you desperately want Goddess to hear.

Send your mad, rebellious, poignant, ingenious

appeals and benedictions to us now!

Be assured that our Prayer Warriors

have not only received extensive

training in the language of Goddess --

they have pull with the Supreme Being Herself!

That's right!

Every one of our Prayer Warriors

has been on speaking terms with Goddess for at least 10,000 years

(over the course of many incarnations, of course)!

And now YOU can have them working on your behalf!

The trained professionals at ARGUMENTS WITH GODDESS!

will study your pleas and telepathically relay them to Goddess

from the profound depths of their meditations

-- in the most eloquent possible language --

within 72 hours!

Deliver your howl to zenpride@televisionaryoracle.com

Now it's time, beauty and truth fans, to test how receptive you are to further immersion in the Drivetime.

Please answer as many of the following questions as you can. Work with ferocious intensity and/or gentle reflection. Don't push on till you're exhausted, but try to come as close to total combustion as you can.

Be innocently truthful and spontaneously thoughtful, or else gratuitously sarcastic and recklessly flippant. If you find yourself responding with ideas that you used to believe but don't any more, abandon them and start over.

Take advantage of this rare opportunity to be creative and authentic for no reason. Don't save yourself for "something better."

1. What did you dream last night?

2. What image or symbol represents the absolute of your desires?

3. In what ways has your fate been affected by invisible forces you don't understand or are barely aware of?

4. Tell a good lie.

5. What were the circumstances in which you were most dangerously alive?

6. Are you a good listener? If so, describe how you listen. If not, explain why not.

7. Compose an exciting prayer in which you ask for something you're not supposed to.

8. What's the difference between right and wrong?

9. Name something you've done to undo, subvert, or neutralize the Battle of the Sexes.

10. Have you ever witnessed a child being born? If so, describe how it changed you.

11. Compose a beautiful blasphemy that makes you feel like crying.

12. What do you do to make people like you?

13. If you're not familiar with the Jungian concept of the "shadow," find out about it. If you are, good. In either case, give a description of the nature of your personal shadow.

14. Talk about three of your most interesting personalities. Give each one a name and a power animal.

15. Make up a dream in which you lose control and thereby attract a crowd of worshipers.

16. Name your greatest unnecessary taboo and how you would violate it if it didn't hurt anyone.

17. Give an example of how smart you are in the way you love.

18. What ignorance do you deserve to be forgiven for?

19. What was the pain that healed you the most?

20. Make a prediction about yourself.

***EXTRA CREDIT***

In the ancient Greek epic, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe. In a famous scene, Circe uses magic to turn the men into pigs. Later, though, in an episode that's often underemphasized by casual readers, she changes them back into men--only they're stronger, braver, and more beautiful than before they were pigs. Tell an analogous story from your own life.

Homework

Discuss and act out the following:

To survive war, you must become war.

--Rambo

To survive love, you must become love.

--The Televisionary Oracle