Live from the United Snakes of Rosicrucian Coca-Cola

You're tuned to the Televisionary Oracle

Featuring continuous updates from the Threshold between Us and Them

Where everyone who believes in the devil is the devil

Where the archetypes are mutating

and so are you

Where compassion is an aphrodisiac

and all the commercials make you smarter

Where everything you know is wrong

and yet you still have as much power as fanatics who hate

Where there are always cherries ripening

in the smoke of burning rain forests

The scene: a mother and eight-year-old daughter at a restaurant. Peering earnestly at the waitress, the girl says, "I want a hot dog, french fries, and Coke."

The mother doesn't acknowledge this declaration. "My daughter will have the bean salad, plain yogurt, and grapefruit juice," she asserts.

Turning to the girl, the waitress asks, "Do you want ketchup with it?"

The girl beams at the waitress and muses to herself, "She thinks I'm real."

The moral of the story: Make sure that you hang out as much as possible with people like the waitress.

This experiment in adoration

is brought to you by Telepathics Anonymous,

a 13-step program for those who're never sure

where other people's feelings leave off

and their own begin.

Are you one of the millions of Americans

suffering from chronic psychic contagion?

Telepathics Anonymous offers living proof

that the Cult of Scientism

doesn't have a clue

about how human minds continually overlap.

As a get-acquainted gift,

the professional boundary-setters at Telepathics Anonymous

would like to present you with an omen

concerning the future of an illusion

you love a little too much.

Look for it exactly seventy-one hours and twenty-five minutes

from right NOW!