I apologize in advance for the seemingly excessive abundance of good news I'm about to report. If you find it hard to believe, I won't hold your skepticism against you. But I do want you to know that every prediction is warranted by the astrological omens. Ready for the onslaught? 1. In the coming weeks, you could fall forever out of love with a wasteful obsession. 2. You might also start falling in love with a healthy obsession. 3. You can half-accidentally snag a blessing you have been half-afraid to want. 4. You could recall a catalytic truth whose absence has been causing you a problem ever since you forgot it. 5. You could reclaim the mojo that you squandered when you pushed yourself too hard a few months ago.

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To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words," said Terence McKenna, "and that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish."

Here's my version of that hypothesis: What world you end up living in depends at least in part on your use of language.

Do you want to move and breathe amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Constantly materialize and entertain angry thoughts in the privacy of your own imagination, beaming silent curses out into eternity.

Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with fluid epiphanies and intriguing coincidences and mysterious harmonies? Then be discerning and inventive in how you speak, primed to name the unexpected codes that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Turn your imagination into an ebullient laboratory where the somethings you create out of nothings are tinctured with the secret light you see in your dreams of invisible fire . . . .

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August is Adopt-a-Taurus month. It's for all of your tribe, not just the orphans and exiles and disowned rebels. Even if you have exemplary parents, the current astrological omens suggest that you require additional support and guidance from wise elders. So I urge you to be audacious in rounding up trustworthy guardians and benefactors. Go in search of mentors and fairy godmothers. Ask for advice from heroes who are further along the path that you'd like to follow. You are ready to receive teachings and direction you weren't receptive to before.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I want to be free
in the mystery of love
I want to be wild
when the world begins again
I want to wake up and listen
Be in love with my life and death
and I want you to be there with me

I want all the children
to have enough to eat
I want all the angry men
to destroy their own pain
I want us all to be happy
and crazy and safe and real
I want everybody to be loved

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When a parasite or other irritant slips inside an oyster's shell, the mollusk's immune system besieges the intruder with successive layers of calcium carbonate. Eventually, a pearl may form. I suspect that this is a useful metaphor for you to contemplate in the coming days as you deal with the salt in your wound or the splinter in your skin. Before you jump to any conclusions, though, let me clarify. This is not a case of the platitude, "Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger." Keep in mind that the pearl is a symbol of beauty and value, not strength.

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Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When an old tree in the rain forest dies and topples over, it takes a long time to decompose. As it does, it becomes host to new saplings that use the decaying log for nourishment.

Picture yourself sitting in the forest gazing upon this scene. How would you describe it? Would you dwell on the putrefaction of the fallen tree while ignoring the fresh life sprouting out of it? If you did that, you’d be imitating the perspective of many modern storytellers, especially the journalists and novelists and filmmakers and producers of TV dramas. They devoutly believe that tales of affliction and mayhem and corruption and tragedy are inherently more interesting than tales of triumph and liberation and pleasure and ingenuity.

The German actor Udo Kier summed up the general consensus in an interview he did a few years ago. "Evil has no limit," he sneered, blustering like a naughty genius. "Evil has no limit. Good has a limit. Good is not as interesting as evil."

Two hundred years ago the poet John Keats said that if something is not beautiful, it is probably not true. But Udo Kier and his many compatriots disagree with Keats. With one voice, they imply that if something is not ugly, it is not true . . . .

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It's your lucky day! Spiritual counsel comparable to what you're reading here usually sells for $99.95. But because you're showing signs that you're primed to outwit bad habits, I'm offering it at no cost. I want to encourage you! Below are my ideas for what you should focus on. (But keep in mind that I don't expect you to achieve absolute perfection.) 1. Wean yourself from indulging in self-pity and romanticized pessimism. 2. Withdraw from connections with people who harbor negative images of you. 3. Transcend low expectations wherever you see them in play. 4. Don't give your precious life energy to demoralizing ideas and sour opinions.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Meditate naked under a waterfall.

Relive the last day of your childhood.

Sip the tears of someone you love.

Rebel against your horoscope.

Create a luxurious orphanage in Romania.

Pick blackberries in the rain.

Feel sorry for a devious lawyer.

See how far you can spit a mouthful of beer.

Give yourself another chance.

Dream of stealing the peaches of immortality from a dragon guarding Plato's cave.

Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse.

Sing the first song you ever heard.

You're not doing a baby chick a favor by helping it hatch. For the sake of its well-being, the bird needs to peck its way out of the egg. It's got to exert all of its vigor and willpower in starting its new life. That's a good metaphor for you to meditate on. As you escape from your comfortable womb-jail and launch yourself toward inspiration, it's best to rely as much as possible on your own instincts. Friendly people who would like to provide assistance may inadvertently cloud your access to your primal wisdom. Trust yourself deeply and wildly.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Robin Norwood's self-help book Women Who Love Too Much deals with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of your own needs, you can make yourself sick.

An alternative perspective comes from Blaise Pascal, who said, "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough." He was primarily addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a good ideal for pronoia lovers to keep in mind.

Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take action.

I hear you're growing weary of wrestling with ghosts. Is that true? I hope so. The moment you give up the fruitless struggle, you'll become eligible for a unique kind of freedom that you have not previously imagined. Here's another rumor I've caught wind of: You're getting bored with an old source of sadness that you've used to motivate yourself for a long time. I hope that's true, too. As soon as you shed your allegiance to the sadness, you will awaken to a sparkling font of comfort you've been blind to. Here's one more story I've picked up through the grapevine: You're close to realizing that your attention to a mediocre treasure has diverted you from a more pleasurable treasure. Hallelujah!

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No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Most people associate innocence with naiveté. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life.

But the Beauty and Truth Laboratory recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to empty one's imagination of all preconceptions.

"Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola-Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good."

Could it be true that the way out is the same as the way in? And that the so-called "wrong" answer is almost indistinguishable from the right answer? And that success, at least the kind of success that really matters, can only happen if you adopt an upside-down, inside-out perspective? In my opinion, the righteous answer to all these questions is "YESSS???!!!" -- at least for now. I suspect that the most helpful approach will never be as simple or as hard as you might be inclined to believe.

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Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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This is a perfect moment. It’s a perfect moment because I have been inspired to say a gigantic prayer. I have been roused to unleash a divinely greedy, apocalyptically healing prayer for each and every one of us -- even those of us who don’t believe in the power of prayer.

Oh GODDESS, you who give us so much love and pain mixed together that our morality is always on the verge of collapsing:

I beg you to cast a boisterous love spell that will nullify all the bad ideas and dumb decisions that have cursed all of us wise and sexy virtuosos.

Remove, banish, annihilate, and laugh into oblivion any jinx that clings to us, no matter how long we have suffered from it, and even if we are addicted to its ugly companionship.

Conjure an aura of protection around us so we get an early warning if we're ever at risk of bringing another curse into our lives in the future . . . .

Hear or read the rest of this meditation.

Your strength seems to make some people uncomfortable. I don't want that to become a problem for you. Maybe you could get away with toning down your potency at other times, but not now. It would be sinful to act as if you're not as competent and committed to excellence as you are. But having said that, I also urge you to monitor your behavior for excess pride. Some of the resistance you face when you express your true glory may be due to the shadows cast by your true glory. You could be tempted to believe that your honorable intentions excuse secretive manipulations. So please work on wielding your clout with maximum compassion and responsibility.

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I love you I love me I love you and me together

I love us I love them I love us and them together

Rilke said: "For one human being to love another is the most difficult task. It's the work for which all other work is mere preparation."

Teillard de Chardin said: "Some day after we have mastered the winds, the waves and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, humans will have discovered fire."

Leo Tolstoy said: "Everything I understand, I understand only because I love."

Pascal said: "If you do not love too much, you do not love enough."

Emily Dickinson said: "Until you have loved, you cannot become yourself."

You and I say: Because we love Ruby-throated hummingbirds sip from plum flowers and the moon sings its silver fragrance to the swans and volcanoes and fields of wheat . . . .

Hear or read the rest of this meditation.

Did you honestly imagine that there would eventually come a future when you'd have your loved ones fully "trained"? Did you fantasize that sooner or later you could get them under control, purged of their imperfections and telepathically responsive to your every mood? If so, now is a good time to face the fact that those longings will never be fulfilled. You finally have the equanimity to accept your loved ones exactly as they are. Uncoincidentally, this adjustment will make you smarter about how to stir up soulful joy in your intimate relationships.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When many people talk about their childhoods, they emphasize the alienating, traumatic experiences they had. It has become fashionable to avoid reporting memories of the good times in one's past. This seems dishonest—a testament to the popularity of cynicism rather than a reflection of objective truth.

I don't mean to downplay the way your early encounters with pain demoralized your spirit. But as you reconnoiter the promise of pronoia, it's crucial for you to extol the gifts you were given in your early years: all the helpful encounters, kind teachings, and simple acts of grace that helped you bloom. Remember them now, please.

You may experience a divine visitation as you clean a toilet in the coming weeks. You might get a glimpse of a solution to a nagging problem while you're petting a donkey or paying your bills or waiting in a long line at the bank. Catch my drift, Capricorn? I may or may not be speaking metaphorically here. You could meditate up a perfect storm as you devour a doughnut. While flying high over the earth in a dream, you might spy a treasure hidden in a pile of trash down below. If I were going to give your immediate future a mythic title, it might be "Finding the Sacred in the Midst of the Profane."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Is the world a dangerous, chaotic place with no inherent purpose, running on automatic like a malfunctioning machine and fundamentally inimical to your happiness? Or are you surrounded by helpers in a friendly universe that gives you challenges in order to make you smarter and wilder and kinder? Trick questions! The answers may depend, at least to some degree, on what you believe is true.

Formulate a series of experiments that will allow you to objectively test the hypothesis that the universe is conspiring to help you.

I've worked hard for many years to dismantle my prejudices. To my credit, I have even managed to cultivate compassion for people I previously demonized, like evangelical Christians, drunken jocks, arrogant gurus, and career politicians. But I must confess that there's still one group toward which I'm bigoted: super-rich bankers. I wish I could extend to them at least a modicum of amiable impartiality. How about you, Aquarius? Do you harbor any hidebound biases that shrink your ability to see life as it truly is? Have you so thoroughly rationalized certain narrow-minded perspectives and judgmental preconceptions that your mind is permanently closed? If so, now is a favorable time to dissolve the barriers and stretch your imagination way beyond its previous limits.

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What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You're a star -- and so am I. I'm a genius -- and so are you. Your success encourages my brilliance, and my charisma enhances your power. Your victory doesn't require my defeat, and vice versa.

Those are the rules in the New World -- quite unlike the rules in the Old World, where zero-sum games are the norm, and only one of us can win each time we play.

In the New World, you don't have to play down or apologize for your prowess, because you love it when other people shine. You exult in your own excellence without regarding it as a sign of inherent superiority. As you ripen more and more of your latent aptitude, you inspire the rest of us to claim our own idiosyncratic magnificence . . . .

Hear or read the rest of this meditation.

Are you lingering at the crux of the crossroads, restless to move on but unsure of which direction will lead you to your sweet destiny? Are there too many theories swimming around in your brain, clogging up your intuition? Have you absorbed the opinions of so many "experts" that you've lost contact with your own core values? It's time to change all that. You're ready to quietly explode in a calm burst of practical lucidity. First steps: Tune out all the noise. Shed all the rationalizations. Purge all the worries. Ask yourself, "What is the path with heart?"

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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All I ask of you: Be my slow-motion dance. Be my birthday earthquake. Be my spiral marble staircase in the middle of a Vermont meadow. Be my handstand on a barstool, my whirlwind week in clown school, my joke shared with a Siberian shaman while shopping for T-shirts at Sears. Be my last because . . . .

Hear or read the rest of this meditation.