Free Will Astrology


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of October 1st, 2015

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
The next seven weeks will NOT be a favorable time to fool around with psychic vampires and charismatic jerks. I recommend you avoid the following mistakes, as well: failing to protect the wounded areas of your psyche; demanding perfection from those you care about; and trying to fulfill questionable desires that have led you astray in the past. Now I'll name some positive actions you'd be wise to consider: hunting for skillful healers who can relieve your angst and aches; favoring the companionship of people who are empathetic and emotionally intelligent; and getting educated about how to build the kind of intimacy you can thrive on.

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What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Elijah, the beer truck driver who lives in the trailer with old tires, rusty tools, and the husk of a 1975 Chevy El Camino littering the driveway, tells me that everything he knows about God can be summed up in the bumper sticker on the back of the El Camino, which reads "Theresa and Johnny's Comfort Food -- Live Free or Die."

Mythologist Joseph Campbell, on the other hand, suggested we should imagine a deity to be like a floating ball of fire that would immediately kill anyone it touched.

Then there's the poet Rumi. He envisioned God as your tender Best Friend and Unpredictable Ally who's always as close as your own breath.

Which version do you prefer?

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
You may have seen websites that offer practical tips on how to improve your mastery of life's little details. They tell you how to de-clutter your home, or how to keep baked goods from going stale, or why you should shop for shoes at night to get the best fit. I recently come across a humorous site that provides the opposite: bad life tips. For instance, it suggests that you make job interviews less stressful by only applying for jobs you don't want. Put your laptop in cold water to prevent overheating. To save time, brush your teeth while you eat. In the two sets of examples I've just given, it's easy to tell the difference between which tips are trustworthy and which aren't. But in the coming days, you might find it more challenging to distinguish between the good advice and bad advice you'll receive. Be very discerning.

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Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Take time to stop and smell the flowers," says an old homily. Albert Hoffman, the Swiss scientist who discovered LSD and lived to age 102, had a different approach. "Take the time to stop and be the flowers," he said.

That's my advice to you. Don't just set aside a few stolen moments to sniff the snapdragons, taste the rain, chase the wind, watch the hummingbirds, and listen to a friend. Use your imagination to actually be the snapdragons and rain and wind and hummingbirds and friend. Don't just behold the Other; become the Other.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
On a windy afternoon last spring I was walking through a quiet neighborhood in Berkeley. In one yard there was a garden plot filled with the young green stems of as-yet unidentifiable plants. Anchored in their midst was a small handwritten sign. Its message seemed to be directed not at passers-by like me but at the sprouts themselves. "Grow faster, you little bastards!" the sign said -- as if the blooming things might be bullied into ripening. I hope you're smart enough not to make similar demands on yourself and those you care about, Gemini. It's not even necessary. I suspect that everything in your life will just naturally grow with vigor in the coming weeks.

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To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Rebecca Rusche coined the word "careenstable." Here's her explanation of how it originated: "In high school, my mom used to let me use her VW Beetle to go to basketball practice. One night after practice, a friend and I were chatting and drinking Coke when we decided to see how fast we could get the Beetle going down a nearby dirt road. Soon we were careening at 65 mph, shouting 'careen!' every time we hit a bump and flew into the air.

"When we arrived back at the gym and got out of the car half an hour later, we saw my Coke can sitting on the front bumper next to the license plate. I nudged it softly to see if it was lodged in there, but it fell right off -- wasn't stuck at all. I thought, 'There must be a word for this magic,' and thus 'careenstable' was born. It came to mean anything that maintains its poise in the midst of wild, fast movement."

Give an example of how you could experiment with making careenstable work in your own life.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
"I am rooted, but I flow," wrote Virginia Woolf in her novel The Waves. That paradoxical image reminds me of you right now. You are as grounded as a tree and as fluid as a river. Your foundation is deep and strong, even as you are resilient in your ability to adapt to changing circumstances. This is your birthright as a Cancerian! Enjoy and use the blessings it confers. (P.S. If for some strange reason you're not experiencing an exquisite version of what I've described, there must be some obstacle you are mistakenly tolerating. Get rid of it.)

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Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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This is how spells are broken:
by changing your name
every day for a hundred days

by bragging about
what you can't do and don't have

by telling nothing but lies for 24 hours

by staring at yourself
in the mirror
for hours

by confessing profound secrets
to people who aren't particularly interested

by forcing yourself to laugh nonstop for one hour
by acting with absolutely no ulterior motives

by dancing alone
all night
in slow motion
with your clothes on inside-out

by seeking out information
that renders your political beliefs irrelevant

by pretending to be dead
for three days

by burning down the dreamhouse
where your childhood keeps repeating itself

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
Should I offer my congratulations? You have corralled a gorgeous mess of problems that are more interesting and provocative than everyone else's. It's unclear how long this odd good fortune will last, however. So I suggest you act decisively to take maximum advantage of the opportunities that your dilemmas have cracked open. If anyone can turn the heartache of misplaced energy into practical wisdom, you can. If anyone can harness chaos to drum up new assets, it's you. Is it possible to be both cunning and conscientious, both strategic and ethical? For you right now, I think it is.

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Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Many life processes unfold outside of your conscious awareness: your body digesting your food and circulating your blood; trees using carbon dioxide, water, and sunlight to synthesize their nourishment; microorganisms in the soil beneath your feet endlessly toiling to create humus. You don't perceive any of these things directly; they're invisible to you.

Tune in to this vitalizing alchemy. Use your X-ray vision and sub-sonic hearing and psychic smelling. See if you can absorb by osmosis some of the euphoria of the trees as they soak in the sunlight from above and water from below.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
Let's say you have walked along the same path or driven down the same road a thousand times. Then, one day, as you repeat your familiar route, a certain object or scene snags your attention for the first time. Maybe it's a small fountain or a statue of the Buddhist goddess Guanyin or a wall with graffiti that says "Crap happens, but so does magic." It has always been there. You've been subconsciously aware of it. But at this moment, for unknown reasons, it finally arrives in your conscious mind. I believe this is an apt metaphor for your life in the next week. More than once, you will suddenly tune in to facts, situations, or influences that had previously been invisible to you. That's a good thing! But it might initially bring a jolt.

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Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In certain Native American traditions, the hole was a symbol for the female genitalia, through which souls enter this realm. In American scientific lore, a wormhole is a backdoor shortcut between two places in space separated by an astronomical distance. In my personal mythos, those are my two favorite nuances in the archetype of the hole.

When I was a kid I loved to fantasize that I'd obtained a magic hole like the one Bugs Bunny had in the comic books. It was a portable hole that Bugs could take with him everywhere and apply to any barrier he needed to slip through. Once he even managed to slap it up against the sky, giving him access to another dimension where the whole world was inside him, not outside. (Or was that a dream I had?)

What would you do with your portable magic hole?

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
The 20th century's most influential artist may have been Pablo Picasso. He created thousands of paintings, and was still churning them out when he was 91 years old. A journalist asked him which one was his favorite. "The next one," he said. I suggest you adopt a similar attitude in the coming weeks, Libra. What you did in the past is irrelevant. You should neither depend on nor be weighed down by anything that has come before. For now, all that matters are the accomplishments and adventures that lie ahead of you.

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Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The people of future generations will win many a liberty of which we do not yet even feel the want," said German philosopher Max Stirner. See if you can become aware of an interesting freedom that has not previously been on your radar screen.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
A windbreak is a line of stout trees or thick bushes that provides shelter from the wind. I think you need a metaphorical version: someone or something to shield you from a relentless force that has been putting pressure on you; a buffer zone or protected haven where you can take refuge from a stressful barrage that has been hampering your ability to act with clarity and grace. Do you know what you will have to do to get it? Here's your battle cry: "I need sanctuary! I deserve sanctuary!"

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No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The Doctrine of Original Sin? We spit on it. We reject it. We renounce it and forget it and annihilate it from reality. In its place we embrace the Doctrine of Original Fun. This reformulation asserts that it is our birthright to commune with regular doses of curious beauty and tricky truth and insurrectionary love. A robust, heroic joy is even now roaring through us, bringing us good ideas about how to apply the metaphor of ingenious foreplay to everything we do. We will not waste this euphoric deluge on any of the million and one numbing little diversions that pass for pleasure among the ecstasy-starved pursuers of mediocre joy. Rather, we will remain ever alert for the call of primordial delight."

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Your fellow Sagittarian Walt Disney accomplished a lot. He was a pioneer in the art of animation and made movies that won numerous Academy Awards. He built theme parks, created an entertainment empire, and amassed fantastic wealth. Why was he so successful? In part because he had high standards, worked hard, and harbored an obsessive devotion to his quirky vision. If you aspire to cultivate any of those qualities, now is a favorable time to raise your mastery to the next level. Disney had one other trait you might consider working on: He liked to play the game of life by his own rules. For example, his favorite breakfast was doughnuts dipped in Scotch whisky. What would be your equivalent?

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Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The really important kind of freedom," said David Foster Wallace, "involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day."

Is that an interesting kind of freedom to you? Can you imagine any scenario in which practicing it would crack you open and pour you into an ecstatic state?

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
October is Fix the Fundamentals Month. It will be a favorable time to substitute good habits for bad habits. You will attract lucky breaks and practical blessings as you work to transform overwrought compulsions into rigorous passions. You will thrive as you seek to discover the holy yearning that's hidden at the root of devitalizing addictions. To get started, instigate free-wheeling experiments that will propel you out of your sticky rut and in the direction of a percolating groove.

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Poet Kay Ryan told the Christian Science Monitor how she cultivates the inspiration to write. She rouses the sense of a "self-imposed emergency," thereby calling forth psychic resources that usually materialize only in response to a crisis.

Please note that she doesn't provoke an actual emergency: She doesn't arrange to have a loved one get pinned beneath the wheels of a car. She doesn't climb out onto the window ledge on the 22nd story of a high-rise. Instead, she visualizes hypothetical situations that galvanize her to shift into a dramatically heightened state of awareness.

What imagined emergencies could you invoke to inspire your deep self to rise up and make its mark?

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
Have you made your travel plans yet? Have you plotted your escape? I hope you will hightail it to a festive playground where some of your inhibitions will shrink, or else journey to a holy spot where your spiritual yearnings will ripen. What would be even better is if you made a pilgrimage to a place that satisfied both of those agendas -- filled up your senses with novel enticements and fed your hunger for transcendent insights. Off you go, Aquarius! Why aren't you already on your way? If you can't manage a real getaway in the near future, please at least stage a jailbreak for your imagination.

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For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I love this excerpt from "The Seeker," a poem by Rilke in his Book of Hours (translated by Robert Bly): "I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, / and I have been circling for a thousand years, / and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm, / or a great song." Here's my own permutation: "I am circling around love, around the throbbing hum, and I have been circling for thousands of days, and I still don't know if I am a wounded saint, or a rainy dawn, or a creation story."

Compose your own version.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
Pablo Neruda's Book of Questions consists entirely of 316 questions. It's one of those rare texts that makes no assertions and draws no conclusions. In this spirit, and in honor of the sphinx-like phase you're now passing through, I offer you six pertinent riddles: 1. What is the most important thing you have never done? 2. How could you play a joke on your fears? 3. Identify the people in your life who have made you real to yourself. 4. Name a good old thing you would have to give up in order to get a great new thing. 5. What’s the one feeling you want to feel more than any other in the next three years?. 6. What inspires you to love?

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Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In the Western Hermetic version of the Qabala, every Hebrew letter is paired with a number, and so every word is also a number derived from the addition of its letters. Gematria is the practice of finding hidden resonance between words that have similar numerical values. Of the many poetic truths revealed through this art, one of my favorites is this: The Hebrew words for both "serpent" and "messiah" add up to 358.

Let's suppose this can be interpreted to mean that the snaky potency of your reproductive drive is potentially the source of your salvation. What implications might that have for how you cultivate the art of ecstasy?

© Rob Brezsny 1995-2019