"Excess is the common substitute for energy," said poet Marianne Moore. That's a problem you should watch out for in the coming weeks. According to my astrological projections, you're a bit less lively and dynamic than usual. And you may be tempted to compensate by engaging in extreme behavior or resorting to a contrived show of force. Please don't! A better strategy would be to recharge your power. Lay low and take extra good care of yourself. Get high-quality food, sleep, entertainment, art, love, and relaxation.

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When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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ARGUMENTS WITH GOD is the only organization on the planet that specializes in the art of debating with the Creator. Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by, ready to deliver the protests and complaints that you want to convey. Send your mad, rebellious, poignant appeals to Truthrooster@gmail.com, and we will relay them directly to the Cosmic Trickster with persuasive eloquence. Write your first draft.

For a pregnant woman, the fetus often begins to move for the first time during the fifth month of gestation. The sensation may resemble popcorn popping or a butterfly fluttering. It's small but dramatic: the distinct evidence that a live creature is growing inside her. Even if you are not literally expecting a baby, and even if you are male, I suspect you will soon feel the metaphorical equivalent of a fetus's first kicks. You're not ready to give birth yet, of course, but you are well on your way to generating a new creation.

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Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.

"Since U Been Gone" is a pop song recorded by vocalist Kelly Clarkson. She won a Grammy for it, and made a lot of money from its sales. But two other singers turned down the chance to make it their own before Clarkson got her shot. The people who wrote the tune offered it first to Pink and then to Hillary Duff, but neither accepted. Don't be like those two singers, Gemini. Be like Clarkson. Recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, even if they are in disguise or partially cloaked.

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How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When the spell is broken, you will be able to tap into resources you've been cut off from. When the spell is broken, you will finally notice the big, beautiful secrets that have been lying in plain sight. What is that spell? Can you break it yourself? (I think you can.)

"Going with the flow" sounds easy and relaxing, but here's another side of the truth: Sometimes it can kick your ass. The rippling current you're floating on may swell up into a boisterous wave. The surge of the stream might get so hard and fast that your ride becomes more spirited than you anticipated. And yet I still think that going with the flow is your best strategy in the coming weeks. It will eventually deliver you to where you need to go, even if there are bouncy surprises along the way.

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Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In the early years of Christianity, there were hundreds of books interpreting the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. But by 325 A.D., a group backed by the political and military might of the Roman Empire had determined which few of the stories about Christ would thereafter be considered the canonical New Testament, and which would be regarded as heretical bilge.

No better evidence exists for the saying, "History is a tale told by the victors." Keep this in mind as you strategize your way through your personal War of the Stories. Your account of events may have more truth in it than everyone else's conflicting tales, but that won't carry much weight unless you obtain the power to enforce your version.

"Money doesn't make you happy," said movie star and ex-California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I now have $50 million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." Despite his avowal, I'm guessing that extra money would indeed make you at least somewhat happier. And the good news is that the coming months will be prime time for you to boost your economic fortunes. Your ability to attract good financial luck will be greater than usual, and it will zoom even higher if you focus on getting better educated and organized about how to bring more wealth your way.

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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In response to our culture's ever-rising levels of noise and frenzy, rites of purification have become more popular. Many people now recognize the value of taking periodic retreats. Withdrawing from their usual compulsions, they go on fasts, avoid mass media, practice celibacy, or even abstain from speaking. While we applaud cleansing ceremonies like this, we recommend balancing them with periodic outbreaks of an equal and opposite custom: the Bliss Blitz.

During this celebration, you tune out the numbing banality of the daily grind. But instead of shrinking into asceticism, you indulge in uninhibited explorations of joy, release, and expansion. Turning away from the mildly stimulating distractions you seek out when you're bored or worried, you become inexhaustibly resourceful as you search for unsurpassable sources of cathartic pleasure. Try it for a day or a week: the Bliss Blitz.

"I stand up next to a mountain, and I chop it down with the edge of my hand." So sang Jimi Hendrix in his raucous psychedelic tune "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)." We could view his statement as an example of delusional grandiosity, and dismiss it as meaningless. Or we could say it's a funny and brash boast that Hendrix made as he imagined himself to be a mythic hero capable of unlikely feats. For the purposes of this horoscope, let's go with the latter interpretation. I encourage you to dream up a slew of extravagant brags about the outlandish magic powers you have at your disposal. I bet it will rouse hidden reserves of energy that will enhance your more practical powers.

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I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness. After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches. Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was "engaged in a conversation with eternity." Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh's "Please Call Me by My True Names," the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.

Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity's surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.

Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze's tale upon his return from Antarctica. "You might want to consider this, Firenze," Michael mused after taking it all in. "Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food—mixing it up with all God's enzymes—and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies. Perhaps you weren't the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?"

Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.

It's the phase of your cycle when you have maximum power to transform yourself. If you work hard to rectify and purify your inner life, you will be able to generate a transcendent release. Moreover, you may tap into previously dormant or inaccessible aspects of your soul's code. Here are some tips on how to fully activate this magic. 1. Without any ambivalence, banish ghosts that are more trouble than they are worth. 2. Identify the one bad habit you most want to dissolve, and replace it with a good habit. 3. Forgive everyone, including yourself. 4. Play a joke on your fear. 5. Discard or give away material objects that no longer have any meaning or use.

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All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The 17th-century surgeon Wilhelm Hilden had an interesting theory about healing. He developed a medicinal salve that he applied not to the wound itself but rather to the weapon that inflicted it. Though today we may sneer at such foolishness, the fact is that Hilden's approach has great potential if used for psychic wounds. Jesus understood this when he articulated the revolutionary formula, "Love your enemy." More than any other action, this strategy has the power to cure you of the distortions your enemy has unleashed in you. Try it out.

I hope you're not getting bored with all of the good news I have been delivering in recent weeks. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm sugarcoating or whitewashing, but I swear I'm simply reporting the truth about the cosmic omens. Your karma is extra sweet these days. You do have a few obstacles, but they are weaker than usual. So I'm afraid you will have to tolerate my rosy prophecies for a while longer. Stop reading now if you can't bear to receive a few more buoyant beams. This is your last warning! Your web of allies is getting more resilient and interesting. You're expressing just the right mix of wise selfishness and enlightened helpfulness. As your influence increases, you are becoming even more responsible about wielding it.

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What are the obvious secrets you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Cancer cells are constantly developing in our bodies. Luckily, our immune systems routinely kill them off. Similarly, our minds always harbor pockets of crazy-making misconceptions and faulty imprints. They usually don't rise up and render us insane thanks to the psychic versions of our immune systems.

How can you stay strong in your ability to fight off sickness and madness? You know the drill: Eat healthy food, sleep well, get physical exercise, minimize stress, give and receive love. But as an aspiring pronoiac, you have at your disposal other actions that can provide powerful boosts to your immune system. Here are examples:

Scheme to put yourself in the path of beautiful landscapes, buildings, art, and creatures.

Exercise your imagination regularly. Get in the habit of feeding your mind's eye images that fill you with wonder and vitality.

Eliminate uhs, you knows, I means, and other junk words from your speech. Avoid saying things you don't really mean and haven't thought out. Stop yourself when tempted to make scornful assertions about people.

Every night before you fall asleep, review the day's activities in your mind's eye. As if watching a movie about yourself, try to be calmly objective as you observe your memories from the previous 16 hours. Be especially alert for moments when you strayed from your purpose and didn't live up to your highest standards.

With a companion, sit in front of a turned-off TV as you make up a pronoiac story that features tricky benevolence, scintillating harmony, and amusing redemption. Speak this tale aloud or write it down.

Take on an additional job title, beautifier. Put it on your business card and do something every day to cultivate your skill. If you're a people person, bring grace and intrigue into your conversations; ask unexpected questions that provoke original thoughts. If you're an artist, leave samples of your finest work in public places. If you're a psychologist or sociologist, point out the institutions and relationships that are working really well. Whatever you do best, be alert for how you can refine it and offer it up to those who'll benefit from it.

If you're going through a phase when you feel you have nothing especially beautiful to offer, or if you think it would be self-indulgent to inject your own aesthetic into shared environments, turn for help to great artists and thinkers. Sneak O'Keeffe or Chagall prints onto unadorned walls in public places, for instance. Memorize poems by Rilke and Hafiz, and slip them into your conversations when appropriate. Program your cell phone so that its ring is Vivaldi's Stabat Mater in C Minor. Scrawl passages from Annie Dillard's Teaching a Stone to Talk on the walls of public lavatories.

When 16th-century Spanish invaders arrived in the land of the Mayans, they found a civilization that was in many ways highly advanced. The native people had a superior medical system and calendar. They built impressive cities with sophisticated architecture and paved roads. They were prolific artists, and had a profound understanding of mathematics and astronomy. And yet they did not make or use wheeled vehicles, which had been common in much of the rest of the world for over 2,000 years. I see a certain similarity between this odd disjunction and your life. Although you're mostly competent and authoritative, you are neglecting to employ a certain resource that would enhance your competence and authority even further. Fix this oversight!

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Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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What if the Creator is like Rainer Maria Rilke's God, "like a webbing made of a hundred roots, that drink in silence"? What if the Source of All Life inhabits both the dark and the light, heals with strange splendor as much as with sweet insight, is hermaphroditic and omnisexual? What if the Source loves to give you riddles that push you past the boundaries of your understanding, forcing you to deepen your perceptions and change the way you think about everything? Close your eyes and imagine you can sense the presence of this tender, marvelous, difficult, entertaining intelligence.

If you have ever fantasized about taking a pilgrimage to a wild frontier or sacred sanctuary or your ancestral homeland, the next ten months will be an excellent time to do it. And the best time to plan such an adventure will be the coming two weeks. Keep the following questions in mind as you brainstorm. 1. What are your life's greatest mysteries, and what sort of journey might bring an awakening that clarifies them? 2. Where could you go in order to clarify the curious yearnings that you have never fully understood? 3. What power spot on planet Earth might activate the changes you most want to make in your life?

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Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. Are you interested in becoming a wildly disciplined, fiercely tender, scrupulously curious, aggressively sensitive, lyrically logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss? Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be.

When he died at the age of 77 in 1905, Aquarian author Jules Verne had published 54 books. You've probably heard of his science fiction novels Journey to the Center of the Earth and Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. He was a major influence on numerous writers, including Jean-Paul Sartre, J. R. R. Tolkien, and Arthur Rimbaud. But one of his manuscripts never made it into book form. When he finished it in 1863, his publisher refused to publish it, so Verne stashed it in a safe. It remained there until his great-grandson discovered it in 1989. Five years later, Verne's "lost novel," Paris in the Twentieth Century, went on sale for the first time. I suspect that in the coming months, you may have a comparable experience, Aquarius. An old dream that was lost or never fulfilled may be available for recovery and resuscitation.

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You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Rainer Maria Rilke: "For one human being to love another is the most difficult task of all. It’s the work for which all other work is mere preparation."
Teilhard de Chardin: "Someday after we have mastered the winds, the waves, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, human beings will have discovered fire."
Leo Tolstoy: "Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."
Blaise Pascal: "If you do not love too much, you do not love enough."
Emily Dickinson: "Until you have loved, you cannot become yourself."

"I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation," says stand-up comic Arnold Brown, "but I'm not very good at it." Your task in the coming weeks, Pisces, is to undermine your own skills at self-deprecation. You may think they are too strong and entrenched to undo and unlearn, but I don't -- especially now, when the cosmic forces are conspiring to prove to you how beautiful you are. Cooperate with those cosmic forces! Exploit the advantages they are providing. Inundate yourself with approval, praise, and naked flattery.

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Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.