Free Will Astrology


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of May 7th, 2015

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
Benedictine monks observe the Latin motto Laborare est Orare. The 19th-century abbot Maurus Wolter interpreted these words to mean "work is worship" or "work is prayer." He was trying to impress upon his fellow monks that the work they did was not a grudging distraction from their service to God, but rather at the heart of their devotion. To do their tasks with love was a way to express gratitude for having been blessed with the gift of life. I propose that you experiment with this approach in the coming weeks, even if your version is more secular. What would it be like to feel contentment with and appreciation for the duties you have been allotted?

*

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"Nothing's going right in my life. I feel anxious and paranoid all the time. My relationships are a mess." In my line of work, people make confessions like that to me. My first response is usually something like this: "Do you habitually gobble junk food near bedtime, steal a paltry five hours of sleep per night, gulp two cups of coffee and no breakfast in the morning, then bolt to a workplace where you get no sunlight or exercise and sit in an uncomfortable chair?" They often reply, "You must be psychic! How did you know?!" My point is that many psychological troubles stem from our chronic failure to take good care

Name three things you can do to promote pronoia in yourself by taking better care of your body.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Here's one of the best things you can do for your mental and physical health: Withdraw your attention from the life that lies behind you, and be excited about the life that stretches ahead of you. Forget about the past, and get wildly inventive as you imagine the interesting future you will create for yourself. Forgive everyone who has offended you, and fantasize about the fun adventures you'll go on, the inspiring plans you'll carry out, and the invigorating lessons you hope to learn.

*

Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Rural communities in southern Louisiana celebrate Mardi Gras with even more anarchistic exuberance than the festivities that take place in New Orleans. Roving gangs of masked revelers stop cars and good-naturedly demand money and gifts from drivers. Clowns with feathered headdresses knock on people's doors after midnight begging for ingredients to make gumbo. Mardi Gras out in the sticks "is a lot like tickling," says professor of folklore, Barry Ancelet. "When you get tickled it makes you laugh, but it also makes you feel uncomfortable."

Is there anything that incites both your laughter and your discomfort? Perhaps a thorny opportunity you have the privilege of suffering from? A prickly advantage that makes your blood boil and sing simultaneously? An awkward gratification that fuels your ambition to become the person you were born to be?

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
In the children's book The Little Engine That Could, a little blue engine volunteers to pull a long chain of train cars up a steep hill, even though it's not confident it has the power to do so. As it strains to haul the heavy weight, it recites a mantra to give itself hope: "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." The story ends happily. The little blue engine reaches the top of the hill with its many cars in tow, and is able to glide down the rest of the way. As you deal with your own challenge, Gemini, I recommend that you use an even more forceful incantation. Chant this: "I know I can, I know I can, I know I can."

*

How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Here's a confession: I have taken a vow to foster beauty, truth, love, justice, equality, tolerance, creativity, playfulness, and hope. To do this work is one of my life goals. I approach it with the devotion of a monk and the rigor of a warrior. Does that mean I ignore difficulty and suffering and cruelty? Of course not. I'm trying to diminish the power of those problems, so I sure as hell better know a lot about them. On the other hand, my main focus is on redemption and exaltation. I prefer not to describe in detail the world's poisons, but rather to provide an antidote for them. Even if you don't normally share my approach, Cancerian, I invite you to try it for the next two weeks. The astrological time is right.

*

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
I'm smarter in some places than in others. In Florence, Amsterdam, and Milwaukee, my IQ is off the charts. In Munich, Madrid, and Washington, D.C., I'm rather dull-witted. Even in Northern California, where I usually live, some spots are more conducive to my higher brain functioning. I'm an idiot on Market Street in San Francisco, whereas I'm awash in wise insights whenever I set foot on Mt. Tamalpais.

What's this about? The specialized branch of astrology called astrocartography would say that the full potentials of my horoscope are more likely to emerge in certain power spots. What about you? Wander around and test to see where you feel most in tune with your deep brilliance.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
The hill where I take my late afternoon hikes is teeming with the six-petaled purple wildflower known as the elegant cluster-lily. Every one of them -- and there are hundreds -- lean hard in the direction of the sun in the west. Should I deride them as conformists that follow the law of the pack? Should I ridicule them for their blind devotion? Or should I more sensibly regard them as having a healthy instinct to gravitate toward the life-giving light? I'll go with the latter theory. In that spirit, Leo, I urge you to ignore the opinions of others as you turn strongly toward the sources that provide you with essential nourishment.

*

How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
The force of gravity is omnipresent, even though it can't be seen, heard, or touched, and almost no one can explain it. There ­wasn't even a word for it until the 17th century, when Isaac Newton discovered it and named it after the Latin term gravitas, meaning "heaviness" or "seriousness."

As you deepen your inquiries into pronoia, you may enjoy a similar breakthrough. Can you imagine what it would feel like to become aware of an omnipresent ocean of wild divine love that has always been a secret to you in the same way that the sea is invisible to a fish?

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
Am I reading the astrological omens correctly? I hope so. From what I can tell, you have been flying under the radar and over the rainbow. You have been exploiting the loopholes in the big bad system and enjoying some rather daring experiments with liberation. At this point in the adventure, you may be worried that your lucky streak can't continue much longer. I'm here to tell you that it can. It will. It must. I predict that your detail-loving intelligence will paradoxically guide you to expand your possibilities even further.

*

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
What's true about the word "God" may apply as well to "soul": Much of the meaning has been sucked out of it. It's a flabby ghost that has lost its life force. Say "soul" and you're liable to numb your listeners' attention. At best you may inspire them to picture a vague floating blob that feels more like an abstract concept than a real presence. That's a shame, because the eminence that's lazily referred to as "soul" is as crucial to you waking up tomorrow as your heart.

"If you need to visualize the soul," wrote Tom Robbins, "think of it as a cross between a wolf howl, a photon, and a dribble of dark molasses. But what it really is, as near as I can tell, is a packet of information. It's a program, a piece of hyperspatial software designed explicitly to interface with the Mystery. Not a mystery, mind you, the Mystery. The one that can never be solved."

As part of the Beauty and Truth Lab's ongoing crusade to wrestle the English language into a more formidable servant of the ecstatic impulse, we're pleased to present some alternate designations for "soul." See if any of the following concoctions feel right coming out of your mouth: 1. undulating superconductor; 2. nectar plasma; 3. golden lather; 4. smoldering crucible; 5. luminous caduceus.

If none of these work for you—or even if they do—create your own terms.

P.S. Here's Robbins' conclusion: "By waxing soulful you will have granted yourself the possibility of ecstatic participation in what the ancients considered a divinely animated universe."

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
According to the three science fiction films collectively known as The Matrix, we humans suffer from a fundamental delusion. What we think is real life is actually a sophisticated computer simulation. Intelligent machines have created this dream world to keep us in suspended animation while they harvest our energy to fuel their civilization. Now as far as I can tell, this scenario isn't literally true. But it is an apt metaphor for how many of us seem to be half-asleep or under a spell, lost in our addiction to the simulated world created by technology. I bring this to your attention, Libra, because now is a favorable time to diminish the hold that the metaphorical Matrix has on you. What can you do to at least partially escape your bondage? (Hint: A little more contact with nature could do the trick.)

*

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. Chemist John Walker invented the match. Physicist Wilhelm Röentgen was the first person to find out about X-rays.

What do these great minds have in common? They all refused to take out patents in connection with their innovations, believing they shouldn't make any profit on something that should belong to everyone.

Try giving away some of your brilliance for free.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
In the coming weeks, you may be as alluring and intriguing and tempting as you have been in a long time. I suggest you capitalize on this advantage. Proceed as if you do indeed have the power to attract more of the emotional riches you desire. Assume that you are primed to learn new secrets about the arts of intimacy, and that these secrets will make you even smarter and more soulful than you already are. Cultivate your ability to be the kind of trusted ally and imaginative lover who creates successful relationships.

*

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"Don't eat any food that's incapable of rotting," says Michael Pollan in his book In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto. In other words, highly processed foods with a long shelf life don't contribute to your optimum vitality.

I'd like to expand this rule to make it an all-purpose guideline for life. Try out this hypothesis: If you're involved with any person or situation that never decays, or if there is some part of you that never decays, that's highly suspicious and may be a problem. Like growth, rot is a natural phenomenon. Indeed, every advancement requires or brings the disintegration of whatever it replaces. You can't grow if you don't rot. The "perfection" of stasis can be hazardous to your health.

What's ripe to rot in your world?

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Physicist Frank Wilczek won a Nobel Prize for his research into quarks, the tiny particles that compose protons and neutrons. The guy is breathtakingly smart. Here's one of his operating principles: "If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake." Let's enshrine his advice as your meditation, Sagittarius. I think you're strong enough and brave enough to go hunting for some new super-rich dilemmas. Yes, they may lead you to commit some booboos. But they will also stretch your intelligence beyond its previous limits, giving you a more vigorous understanding of the way the world works.

*

Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
No matter how holy and good, everyone in the world has a portion of the world's sickness inside them. It's known by many names: neurosis, shadow, demon, devil. Many people try to deny that it inhabits them. Others acknowledge its power so readily that they allow themselves to be overwhelmed and distorted by it.

At the Beauty and Truth Lab, we take a position between those two positions. We accept the fact that the evil is part of us, but treat it with compassionate amusement and flexible vigilance. Our stance is partly that of loving parents and partly that of warriors.

Once you make a commitment to explore the mysteries of pronoia, your shadow will try to play tricks on you that it has never tried before. How will you respond? We recommend an aggressive, tender, improvisational approach. Be ready for anything. Avoid both blithe excesses of tolerance and grave fundamentalism.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
In 1934, Capricorn baseball player Dizzy Dean was named the Most Valuable Player after winning 30 games. It was a feat that no National League pitcher has repeated ever since. After Dean retired, he was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Never shy about acknowledging his own prowess, he declared that "if you can do it, it ain't bragging." It is in this spirit that I invite you to freely expound on your talents and accomplishments in the coming week. You won't be boasting. You will simply be providing information. And that will ultimately result in you being offered an interesting new opportunity or two.

*

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
In the Greek epic The Odyssey, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe, who uses her magic to transform the men into pigs. Later, though, she changes them back into men -- only they're younger and taller and better-looking than before they were pigs.

What's an analogous story from your own life? You know, an experience in which you were kind of turned into a pig for a while, and became a more robust version of yourself when the spell was broken.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
There has rarely been a better time than now to refine the art of being your own mommy or daddy. You're finally ready to take over from the parental voices in your head and assume full responsibility for raising yourself the rest of the way. What do you want to be when you grow up? You may feel a giddy sense of freedom as it becomes clear that the only authority who has the right to answer that question is you.

*

Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"We are attracted to people who express the qualities we deny or repress in ourselves," says creativity expert Shakti Gawain. Using this idea as your hypothesis, take an inventory of the people you're most drawn to. Ask yourself whether they have talents and dreams that you wish could come alive in you. If you find this to be the case, consider the possibility that it's time to claim those talents or dreams as your own.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
The universe has always played tricks on you. Some have been so perplexing that you've barely understood the joke. Others have been amusing but not particularly educational. Now I sense a new trend in the works, however. I suspect that the universe's pranks are becoming more comprehensible. They may have already begun to contain hints of kindness. What's the meaning of this lovely turn of events? Maybe you have finally discharged a very old karmic debt. It's also conceivable that your sense of humor has matured so much that you're able to laugh at some of the crazier plot twists. Here's another possibility: You are cashing in on the wisdom you were compelled to develop over the years as you dealt with the universe's tricks.

*

You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Pathologist Paul Wolf has suggested that some of history's great artists may have never created their masterpieces if the wonders of modern medicine had been available to them. For example, what if doctors had cured van Gogh's mental illness with a regimen of drugs like Prozac and Xanax?

Maybe he would have been spared the torment that goaded him to the outbursts of genius that erupted on his canvases.

Are there ways in which the very things that have driven you crazy might play a role in your finest accomplishments?

© Rob Brezsny 1995-2019