Free Will Astrology


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of April 16th, 2015

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
The California Gold Rush hit its peak between 1849 and 1855. Three hundred thousand adventurers flocked to America's West Coast in search of gold. In the early days, gold nuggets were lying around on the ground in plain sight, or relatively easy to find in gravel beds at the bottom of streams. But later prospectors had to work harder, developing methods to extract the gold from rocks that contained it. One way to detect the presence of the precious metal was through the use of nitric acid, which corroded any substance that wasn't gold. The term "acid test" refers to that process. I bring this to your attention, Aries, because it's a good time for you to use the metaphorical version of an acid test as you ascertain whether what you have discovered is truly golden.

*

Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
In American psychotherapy, the first question many practitioners ask their new clients is essentially, "What did your parents do to you to mess you up so badly?" One of my Japanese friends tells me that in his country, a therapist is more likely to ask, "What did your parents do for you? How did they nurture and support you?"

Without dismissing the possibility that your mom and dad did inflict damage on you, I'll ask you to concentrate on the Japanese-style inquiry for now. What are the best things that happened to you when you were growing up? What did your family and community give you that you've never fully appreciated?

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
The time between now and your birthday will provide you with excellent opportunities to resolve lingering problems, bring drawn-out melodramas to a conclusion, and clean up old messes -- even the supposedly interesting ones. You want to know what else this upcoming period will be good for? I'll tell you: 1. Surrendering control-freak fantasies. 2. Relieving your backlog of tension. 3. Expelling delusional fears that you cling to out of habit. 4. Laughing long and hard at the cosmic jokes that have tweaked your attitude.

*

How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Beth had a dream that she and her tribe were living peacefully at the foot of a mountain. Without warning, fiery ash and lava erupted. Everyone fled, desperate to escape. But before she had gone far, Beth heard a voice in her head say, "Run toward the volcano; it's your only safety." Feeling an inexplicable trust in the voice, she turned around and started heading back, whereupon the dream ended and she woke up. Soon after getting out of bed, she felt moved to face up to a certain dilemma she'd been ignoring in her waking life. When she solved the problem a day later, she felt gratitude for the dream that had spurred her to do the right thing: Run toward the volcano.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
In the mid-19th century, the entrance exam for the British Royal Navy was quite odd. Some candidates were required to write down the Lord's Prayer, recite the multiplication table for the number three, get naked and jump over a chair, and drink a glass of sherry. I'm guessing that your own initiation or rite of passage may, at least initially, seem as puzzling or nonsensical as that one. You might be hard-pressed to understand how it is pertinent to the next chapter of your life story. And yet I suspect that you will ultimately come to the conclusion -- although it may take some time -- that this transition was an excellent lead-in and preparation for what's to come.

*

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words," said Terence McKenna in Alien Dreamtime, "and that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish." Here's my version of that hypothesis: What world you end up living in depends at least in part on your use of language.

Do you want to move and breathe amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Constantly materialize and entertain angry thoughts in the privacy of your own imagination, beaming silent curses out into eternity.

Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with fluid epiphanies and intriguing coincidences and mysterious harmonies? Then be discerning and inventive in how you speak, primed to name the unexpected codes that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Turn your imagination into an ebullient laboratory where the somethings you create out of nothings are tinctured with the secret light you see in your dreams of invisible fire.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
In 1909, Sergei Diaghilev founded the Ballets Russes, a Parisian ballet company that ultimately revolutionized the art form. The collaborative efforts he catalyzed were unprecedented. He drew on the talents of visual artists Picasso and Matisse, composers Stravinsky and Debussy, designer Coco Chanel, and playwright Jean Cocteau, teaming them up with top choreographers and dancers. His main goal was not primarily to entertain, but rather to excite and inspire and inflame. That's the spirit I think you'll thrive on in the coming weeks, Cancerian. It's not a time for nice diversions and comfy satisfactions. Go in quest of Ballets Russes-like bouts of arousal, awakening, and delight.

*

2 How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
As a boy, renowned Spanish matador Manolete was a sissy. He rarely played outside, preferring to be near his mother as he read books and painted pictures.

Psychologist James Hillman explains this by suggesting that the youthful Manolete had already sensed his destiny, intuiting that one day he would be alone in the ring facing down angry 2,000-pound bulls. His childhood behavior was a way of marshaling his strength and shielding him from the enormity of the challenges he would seek out one day.

Is it possible that what you have considered a weakness or vulnerability has actually been preparing you to express a signature strength?

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
"Don't ever tame your demons -- always keep them on a leash." That's a line from a song by Irish rock musician Hozier. Does it have any meaning for you? Can your personal demons somehow prove useful to you if you keep them wild but under your control? If so, how exactly might they be useful? Could they provide you with primal energy you wouldn't otherwise possess? Might their presence be a reminder of the fact that everyone you meet has their own demons and therefore deserves your compassion? I suspect that these are topics worthy of your consideration right now. Your relationship to your demons is ripe for transformation -- possibly even a significant upgrade.

*

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Sometimes we have a strong sense of what our destiny is calling us to do, but we don't feel quite ready or brave enough to answer the call. We need a push, an intervention, a serendipitous stroke -- what you might call "fate bait." It's a person or event that awakens our dormant willpower and draws us inexorably toward our necessary destiny; it's a thunderbolt or siren song or stage whisper that gives us a good excuse to go do what we know we should do.

Do you have any ideas about how to put yourself in the vicinity of your fate bait?

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
Will you be the difficult wizard, Virgo? Please say yes. Use your magic to summon elemental forces that will shatter the popular obstacles. Offer the tart medicine that tempers and tests as it heals. Bring us bracing revelations that provoke a fresher, sweeter order. I know it's a lot to ask, but right now there's no one more suited to the tasks. Only you can manage the stern grace that will keep us honest. Only you have the tough humility necessary to solve the riddles that no one else can even make sense of.

*

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
During my years in college, I enjoyed watching the evolution of Richard, a shy geek in my creative writing classes. Long before he penned a single good poem, he was a bohemian art poseur. On his backpack there was a button with the image of rock poet Patti Smith. He often wore a T-shirt bearing a quote from poetry icon Allen Ginsberg, and he was never without his book of Rimbaud poems. Everywhere I went I saw him scribbling ostentatiously in his journal as he chain-smoked clove cigarettes.

To my surprise, Richard's work gradually began to match his persona. By sophomore year he'd spawned some evocative poems, and soon after he graduated, he published a fine chapbook. In his development I witnessed a perfect example of the saying, "You become what you pretend to be."

Your assignment: Decide what you want to become, and start pretending to be that thing. Or else: Be careful what you're unconsciously pretending to be, because you just might become it.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
My message this week might be controversial to the Buddhists among you. But I've got to report the cosmic trends as I see them, right? It's my sacred duty not to censor or sanitize the raw data. So here's the truth as I understand it: More desire is the answer to your pressing questions. Passionate intensity is the remedy for all wishy-washy wishes and anesthetized emotions. The stronger your longing, the smarter you'll be. So if your libido is not already surging and throbbing under its own power, I suggest you get it teased and tantalized until it does.

*

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
In his book Starbucked, Taylor Clark says there's a woman who goes to a Seattle Starbucks every morning and orders a "decaf single grande extra vanilla two-percent extra caramel 185-degrees with whipped cream caramel macchiato."

Maybe her request seems overly fussy and demanding, but it could be a good act for you to mimic. Try this: For a given time, say 12 days, be equally as exacting in asking for what you want. Assume that you have a poetic license to be extremely specific as you go about your quest for fulfillment.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
Karelu is a word from the Tulu language that's spoken in South India. It refers to the marks made on human skin by clothing that's too tight. As you know, the effect is temporary. Once the close-fitting garment is removed, the imprint will eventually disappear as the skin restores its normal shape and texture. I see the coming days as being a time when you will experience a metaphorical version of karelu, Scorpio. You will shed some form of constriction, and it may take a while for you to regain your full flexibility and smoothness.

*

Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"Why, I don't even respect myself, I tell ya," said comedian Rodney Dangerfield. "When I make love, I have to fantasize that I am somebody else!"

Experiment with just the second half of that formulation. While you're making love, fantasize that you're somebody else. But do it because you care deeply about yourself -- so deeply that you want to transcend your customary reactions and expand your identity. Do it because you dare to awaken to previously unknown possibilities of who you might be.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Georgia is not just an American state. It's also a country that's at the border of Western Asia and Eastern Europe. Many people who live there speak the Georgian language. They have a word, shemomedjamo, that refers to what happens when you love the taste of the food you're eating so much that you continue to pile it in your mouth well past the time when you're full. I'd like to use it as a metaphor for what I hope you won't do in the coming days: get too much of a good thing. On the other hand, it's perfectly fine to get just the right, healthy amount of a good thing.

*

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
There was an indignant uproar after revelations in 2006 that James Frey's best-selling "memoir" A Million Little Pieces contains fabrications. He hadn't actually lived all of the experiences he depicted therein.

Hearing about it prompted me to ruminate on whether there's any such thing as a completely accurate account of any person's life. My conclusion: no.

In every autobiography and biography ever written, the author imaginatively strings together selectively chosen details to conjure up artificially coherent narratives rather than depicting the crazy-quilt ambiguity that actually characterizes everyone's journey.

If you and nine writers set out to tell your life story, you'd produce 10 wildly different tales, each rife with subjective interpretation, misplaced emphasis, unintentional distortions, and exorbitant extrapolations from insufficient data.

Celebrate the malleability of reality. Regale listeners with stories about the time you worked as a pirate in the Indian Ocean, or rode the rails through Kansas as a hobo, or gave a down-on-his-luck CIA agent sage advice in an elevator. When you call to get pizza delivered and the clerk who takes your order asks your name, say you're Brad Pitt or Paris Hilton. When someone you're meeting is annoyed because you're late, say you couldn't help it because you were smoking crack in the bus station bathroom with your mom's guru and lost track of time. If asked how much education you have, say you have three PhDs, one each in astrobiology, Russian literature, and whale songs.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
When you're a driver in a car race, an essential rule in making a successful pit stop is to get back on the track as quickly as possible. Once the refueling is finished and your new tires are in place, you don't want to be cleaning out your cup holder or checking the side-view mirror to see how you look. Do I really need to tell you this? Aren't you usually the zodiac's smartest competitor? I understand that you're trying to become more skilled at the arts of relaxation, but can't you postpone that until after this particular race is over? Remember that there's a difference between the bad kind of stress and the good kind. I think you actually need some of the latter.

*

Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
George III was King of England from 1760 to 1820. During the last years of his reign, he gradually became more and more detached from reality, talking to himself for hours on end and addressing trees as if they were people. When he first began losing his mind, his servants and assistants made a conscious decision to help him feel more comfortable by acting eccentric themselves.

Their collusion with George's pathology is an extreme example of a situation that all of us are at risk of. Our associates and loved ones may fall into a rhythm of going along with our odd ideas and bad habits, encouraging us to continue doing what we probably shouldn't do.

Are your allies refraining from busting you or calling your bluff, when they probably should? Bust yourself. Call your own bluff.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
Until the early 20th century, mayonnaise was considered a luxury food, a hand-made delicacy reserved for the rich. An entrepreneur named Richard Hellman changed that. He developed an efficient system to produce and distribute the condiment at a lower cost. He put together effective advertising campaigns. The increasing availability of refrigeration helped, too, making mayonnaise a more practical food. I foresee the possibility of a comparable evolution in your own sphere, Aquarius: the transformation of a specialty item into a mainstay, or the evolution of a rare pleasure into a regular occurrence.

*

You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
If a cow is given a name by her owner, she generates more milk than a cow that's treated as an anonymous member of the herd. That's the conclusion of a study done by researchers at Newcastle University in the UK. "Placing more importance on knowing the individual animals and calling them by name," said Dr. Catherine Douglas, "can significantly increase milk production."

Building on that principle, I suggest that you give everything in your world names, including (but not limited to) houseplants, insects, cars, appliances, and trees. It will help you get more up-close and personal with all of creation, which is an effective way to cultivate pronoia.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
Piscean author Dr. Seuss wrote and illustrated over 40 books for children. Midway through his career, his publisher dared him to make a new book that used no more than 50 different words. Accepting the challenge, Seuss produced *Green Eggs and Ham,* which went on to become the fourth best-selling English-language children's book in history. I invite you to learn from Seuss's efforts, Pisces. How? Take advantage of the limitations that life has given you. Be grateful for the way those limitations compel you to be efficient and precise. Use your constraints as inspiration to create a valuable addition to your life story.

*

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Sometimes the best gift you can give your ego is to tell it you're not going to be its slave anymore. You say to it, "I'm tired of being whipped around by every one of your ever-shifting little needs, and I'm sick of having to kowtow to your inexhaustible demands. I want to be free of your insatiable craving to be appreciated, recognized, and adored. Go away and leave me alone. I'm just going to be who I am without worrying about you at all."

Delivering this message may stimulate a healing crisis. Your ego could be temporarily rendered numb and irrelevant by its near death experience, and you'll get to go off and do what your soul wants to do.

Tell your ego you won't be its slave for a period of three days.

© Rob Brezsny 1995-2019