Uitwaaien is a Dutch word that means to go out for a stroll in windy weather simply because it's exhilarating. I don't know any language that has parallel terms for running in the rain for the dizzy joy of it, or dancing through a meadow in the dark because it's such nonsensical fun, or singing at full volume while riding alone in an elevator in the mad-happy quest to purge your tension. But in the coming weeks, you don't need to describe or explain experiences like this; you just need to do them. Experiment with giving your instinctive need for exuberance lots of room to play.

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No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Is there really such a thing as free will, or are our destinies shaped by forces beyond our control?

Here's one way to think about that question: Maybe some people actually have more free will than others. Not because they have more money. (Many rich folks are under the spell of their instincts, after all.) Not because they have high-status positions. (A boss may have power over others but little power over himself.)

Rather, those with a lot of free will have earned that privilege by taking strong measures to dissolve the conditioning they absorbed while growing up. They've acted on the advice of psychologist Carl Jung: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

Your nasty, nagging little demon isn't nasty or nagging any more. It's not doing what demons are supposed to do. It's confused, haggard, and ineffective. I almost feel sorry for the thing. It is barely even keeping you awake at night, and its ability to motivate you through fear is at an all-time low. Here's what I suggest: Now, when the demon's strength is waning and its hold on you is weak, you should break up with it for good. Perform an ultimate, non-reversible exorcism. Buy it a one-way bus ticket to the wasteland and say goodbye forever.

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Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In her book Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes suggests that we all need to periodically go cheerfully and enthusiastically out of our minds. Make sure, she says, that at least one part of you always remains untamed, uncategorizable, and unsubjugated by routine. Be adamant in your determination to stay intimately connected to all that's inexplicable and mysterious about your life.

At the same time, though, Estes believes you need to keep your unusual urges clear and ordered. Discipline your wildness, in other words, and don't let it degenerate into careless disorder.

When he was in his fifties, French painter Claude Monet finally achieved financial success. He used his new riches to buy a house and land, then hired gardeners to help him make a pond full of water lilies. For the first time in his life, he began to paint water lilies. During the next 30 years, they were his obsession and his specialty. He made them a central feature of 250 canvases, which now serve as one of his signature contributions to art history. "I planted my water lilies for pleasure," he said. "I cultivated them without thinking of painting them. And then suddenly, I had the revelation of the magic of my pond." I regard the imminent future as a good time for you to do something similar, Gemini: Create or find a source of beauty that will stimulate your sense of wonder and fuel your passion to express yourself for a long time.

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The seeds of the lodgepole pine and jack pine trees are so tightly compacted within their protective cones that they need flames to free them. It's only through the help of periodic conflagrations, then, that they're able to reproduce. Fire-dependent and fire-resistant, they can tolerate temperatures of 1,700 degrees Fahrenheit.

"Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love," said Cancerian comedian Mel Brooks. Although he was joking, he was also quite serious. More often than we like to admit, desperation infects our quest to be cared for. Our decisions about love may be motivated by a dread of loneliness. We worry about whether we are worthy of getting the help and support we need. It's a fundamental human problem, so there's no reason to be ashamed if you have this tendency yourself. Having said that, I'm happy to report that you now have the necessary power to overcome this tendency. You will be able to summon tremendous courage as you revise and refine your relationship with love. It's time to disappear the fear.

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For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Philosopher Robert Anton Wilson proposed that the single greatest contribution to world peace would come from there being over seven billion different religions -- a unique spiritual path for each person on the planet. The Beauty and Truth Lab urges you to get started on doing your part to make this happen. What will your religion be called? What rituals will you perform? Write down your three core tenets.

Do you ever feel reverence and awe, Leo? Are there times when you spontaneously yearn to engage in acts of worship? Is there anyone or anything that evokes your admiration, humility, and gratitude? The coming weeks will be a good time to seek out experiences like these. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will get tender jolts of transformational inspiration if you blend yourself with a sublime force that you trust and respect.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Believing" in God is like "believing" in the taste of fresh-baked bread without ever having tasted actual fresh-baked bread. But what if you could commune with the Divine Wow through up-close, personal encounters that are as vivid as eating fresh-baked bread? Some people have. You could, too. Formulate the intention to do so.

A lot has happened since you were . . . uh . . . indisposed. You've missed out on several plot twists. The circle has been broken, repaired, broken again, and partially repaired. Rumors have been flying, allegiances have been shifting, and riddles have been deepening. So are you ready yet to return to the heated action? Have you learned as much as you can from the commotion that provoked your retreat? Don't try to return too early. Make sure you are at least 70 percent healed.

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What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In Judeo-Christian cultures, many people associate the sky with the masculine form of God. According to this bias, the Supreme Father rules us all from on high -- up, away, far from here. But if you were an ancient Egyptian, the sky was the goddess Nuit, her body its very substance. She was a loving mother whose tender touch could be felt with each new breath.

For one day, act as if you and the sky goddess are in constant contact.

Rent, but don't buy yet. That's my $250-per-hour advice. Keep rehearsing, but don't start performing the actual show. OK? Flirt, but don't fall in love. Can you handle that much impulse control? Are you strong enough to explore the deeper mysteries of patience? I swear to you that your burning questions will ultimately be answered if you don't try to force the answers to arrive according to a set timetable. I guarantee that you will make the necessary connections as long as you don't insist that they satisfy every single one of your criteria.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In some ancient Greek dramas, a god showed up out of nowhere to cause a miraculous twist at a crucial point in the tale. This divine intrusion was referred to as theos ek mechanes, literally "god from a machine," because the symbolic figure of the god was lowered onto the stage by a crane. In modern usage, the term is Latin -- deus ex machina -- and refers to a story in which a sudden event unexpectedly brings about a resolution to a baffling problem.

Write a tale in which you're the beneficiary of such an intervention.

The Guerrilla Girls are a group of prankster activists who use humor to expose sexism and racism in the art world. Every so often they take a "weenie count" at New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art. During their first survey in 1989, they found that five percent of the artists who had work hanging in the galleries were women, while 85 percent of the nudes depicted in the paintings were women. More recently, in 2012, their weenie count revealed that four percent of the artists were female, but 76 percent of the naked people in the paintings were female. The coming week would be a good time for you to take a weenie count in your own sphere, Scorpio. Conditions are more favorable than usual to call attention to gender disparities, and to initiate corrective action.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Neither God nor the gods are dead, but they seem to be disappearing because so few of us are capable of carrying on authentic relationships with them anymore. The materialist delusion rules: Millions believe that nothing's real unless it can be perceived by the senses. Churches and temples are full of ethical people, but many of them have no clue about how to know or feel or converse with the divine intelligences.

What can the deities do, having been banished from our conscious knowing? Jung said they have no recourse but to worm their way into our lives as sickness and pathology. Repressed, they come in the back door.

Which of your maladies or pains might be gods in disguise? How might you get them to take off their masks and begin knocking on the front door?

The English term "engine" refers primarily to a machine that transforms energy into mechanical power. But its roots are in the Old French word engin, which meant skill or wit, and in the Latin word ingenium, defined as "inborn talent." I'd like to borrow the original meanings to devise your horoscope this week. According to my reading of the astrological omens, your "engine" is unusually strong right now, which means that your cultivated skills and innate talents are functioning at peak levels. I suggest you make intensive use of them to produce maximum amounts of energy and gather more of the clout you'd love to wield.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke urged an aspiring bard to change the way he imagined the Supreme Being. "Why don't you conceive of God as an ally who is coming," Rilke said, "who has been approaching since time began, the one who will someday arrive, the fruit of a tree whose leaves we are? Why not project his birth into the future, and live your life as an excruciating and lyrical moment in the history of a prodigious pregnancy?"

How would your life change if you made this idea your working hypothesis?

What I'm about to say is not a hard scientific fact, but it is a rigorous poetic fable. You don't need to go to the mountain, because the mountain is willing and able to come to you. But will it actually come to you? Yes, but only if you meet two conditions. The mountain will pick itself up and move all the way to where you are if you make a lot of room for it and if you are prepared to work with the changes its arrival will bring.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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A reader named Michael McCarthy wrote to say he plans to start a new religion, the "First Church of the Rude Awakening." It will be based on the principle that having a pleasant life cannot serve as a motivation to seek enlightenment and salvation. McCarthy believes that no one ever bolts up out of bed one morning and says, "I'm so happy, I think I'll go meditate and pray and make myself into a better person for as long as it takes, so I can find God and say thanks."

Disprove this theory. Detonate an epiphany precisely because you're in an excellent mood.

If you were a four-year-old, cookies might be a valuable treasure to you. Given a choice between a bowl of stir-fried organic vegetables and a plate full of chocolate coconut macaroons, you'd probably choose the macaroons. For that matter, if you were four years old and were asked to decide between getting a pile of macaroons and a free vacation to Bali or an original painting by Matisse or a personal horoscope reading from the world's greatest astrologer, you'd also opt for the cookies. But since you're a grownup, your list of priorities is screwed on straight, right? You would never get distracted by a sugary, transitory treat that would cause you to ignore a more nourishing and long-lasting pleasure. Right?

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In Frederick Buechner's book On the Road with the Archangel, the star is the archangel Raphael. This supernatural helper has a tough gig: gathering the prayers of human beings and delivering them to God. Here's how he describes the range of pleas he hears: "There are prayers of such power that you might say they carry me rather than the other way around. There are prayers so apologetic and shamefaced and half-hearted that they all but melt away in my grasp like sad little flakes of snow. Some prayers are very boring."

Compose a prayer that's so powerful and entertaining that it could thrill an archangel.

On June 23, 1917, Babe Ruth was the starting pitcher for the Boston Red Sox in a Major League Baseball game against the Washington Senators. After the first batter drew a walk, Ruth got upset with the home plate umpire and punched him in the head. Ejected! Banished! The Babe had to be dragged off the field by the cops. The new pitcher was Ernie Shore. He proceeded to pitch a perfect game, allowing no further Washington player to reach base in all nine innings. In the coming weeks, Pisces, I see you as having the potential to duplicate Ernie Shore's performance in your own sphere. Coming in as a replacement, you will excel. Chosen as a substitute, you will outdo the original.

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Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The German word selig can mean "ecstatic," "blessed," or "holy." It implies that profound bliss can be a divine gift; that deep pleasure may generate or come from spiritual inspiration.

The English language doesn't have a term comparable to selig, maybe because our culture regards ecstasy with suspicion. Religious people tend to believe that the blessed are those who are good and kind, certainly not those who are skilled at cultivating rapturous states. People who worship rationality, on the other hand, like intellectuals and scientists, often think of ecstasy as at best an irrelevant state, and at worst a nonproductive or deluded indulgence.

What would you have to do to place yourself in intimate alignment with the values embodied by the word selig?