In the old Superman comics, Mister Mxyztplk was a fiendish imp whose home was in the fifth dimension. He sometimes sneaked over into our world to bedevil the Man of Steel with pranks. There was one sure way he could be instantly banished back to his own realm for a long time: If Superman fooled him into saying his own name backwards. You might think it would be hard to trick a magic rascal into saying "Klptzyxm" when he knew very well what the consequences would be, but Superman usually succeeded. I'd like to suggest that you have a similar power to get rid of a bugaboo that has been bothering you, Aries. Don't underestimate your ability to outsmart the pest.

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Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"For a relationship to stay alive," writes James Hillman, "love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, boredom. Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining."

Make this your hypothesis. The next time you sense that you're about to say the same old thing to your closest ally, interrupt yourself and head off in the direction of storyland.

In 1637, mathematician Pierre de Fermat declared that he had solved the "Last Theorem," a particularly knotty mathematical problem. Unfortunately, he never actually provided the proof that he had done so. The mystery remained. Other math experts toiled for centuries looking for the answer. It wasn't until 1994, more than 350 years later, that anyone succeeded. I think you are on the verge of discovering a possible solution to one of your own long-running riddles, Taurus. It may take a few more weeks, but you're almost there. Can you sense that twinkle in your third eye? Keep the faith.

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Would you like to make yourself more magnetic to blessings? You could experiment with good luck charms or magic amulets -- objects that you imagine might attract benevolence into your life. How about a replica of Brísingamen, the magical necklace of the Norse goddess Freya? When she wore it, neither man nor god could resist her allure. Or maybe a copy of the thyrsus, a wand wielded by Dionysus, the god of ecstasy? Or the bracelet of meteorite chunks I saw advertised as a luck-bringer in the back of a tabloid?

As fun as things like these might be, I believe there's a superior approach to the art of charging up your mojo. It's embodied by the metaphorical talisman that Tom Waits recommends in his song "Get Behind the Mule": Always keep a diamond in your mind.

Go get one of those diamonds.

Your upcoming efforts might not be flawless in all respects, but I suspect you will triumph anyway. You may not even be completely sure of what you want, but I bet you'll get a reward you didn't know you were looking for. Cagey innocence and high expectations will be your secret weapons. Dumb luck and crazy coincidences will be your X-factors. Here's one of your main tasks: As the unreasonable blessings flow in your direction, don't disrupt or obstruct the flow.

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For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Butterflies, moths, hummingbirds, and bats love to drink the nectar that flowers offer. In return, these pollinators are expected to get some pollen stuck on their bodies and carry it away to fertilize other plants.

While the nectar is tasty, it's usually not pure sweetness. If it were, the first pollinator to come along would suck it all dry, leaving nothing for further visitors. And that wouldn't be good from the plant's point of view, because it would limit the number of places where its pollen would be disseminated.

To keep nectar-drinking sessions short, therefore, most plants include a touch of bitterness in the blend.

As soon as a baby loggerhead turtle leaves its nest on a Florida beach, it heads for the ocean. It's only two inches long. Although it can swim just one mile every two hours, it begins an 8,000-mile journey that takes ten years. It travels east to Africa, then turns around and circles back to where it originated. Along the way it grows big and strong as it eats a wide variety of food, from corals to sea cucumbers to squid. Succeeding at such an epic journey requires a stellar sense of direction and a prodigious will to thrive. I nominate the loggerhead turtle to be your power animal for the coming weeks, Cancerian.

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Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The Eskimos had 52 names for snow because it was important to them," wrote novelist Margaret Atwood. "There ought to be as many for love."

Here are a few that the ancient Greeks devised, according to Lindsay Swope in her review of Richard Idemon's book Through the Looking Glass.

Epithemia is the basic need to touch and be touched. Our closest approximation is "horniness," though epithemia is not so much a sexual feeling as a sensual one.

Philia is friendship. It includes the need to admire and respect your friends as a reflection of yourself—like in high school, where you want to hang out with the cool kids because that means you're cool too.

Eros isn't sexual in the way we usually think, but is more about the emotional gratification that comes from merging souls.

Agape is a mature, utterly free expression of love that has no possessiveness. It means wanting the best for another person even if it doesn't advance your self-interest.

Your assignment is to coin three additional new words for love, which means you'll have to discover or create three alternate states of love that have previously been unnamed. To do that, you'll have to put aside your habitual expectations and standard definitions of what constitutes love so that you can explore an array of nuances, including varieties you never imagined existed.

In 1961, 19-year-old Bob Dylan began doing solo performances of folk songs at New York clubs. To accompany his vocals, he played an acoustic guitar and harmonica. By 1963, his career had skyrocketed. Critics called him a creative genius. Pop stars were recording the songs he wrote, making him rich. But he still kept his instrumentation simple, relying entirely on his acoustic guitar and harmonica. That changed in 1965, when he made the leap to rock and roll. For the first time, his music featured a full drum set and electric guitar, bass, and keyboards. Some of his fans were offended. How dare he renounce his folk roots? I wonder if it might be time for you to consider a comparable transition, Leo. Are you willing to risk disorienting or disturbing those who would prefer you to stay as you are?

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What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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A common obstruction to a vital intimate relationship is what I call the assumption of clairvoyance. You imagine, perhaps unconsciously, that your partner or friend is somehow magically psychic when it comes to you -- so much so that he or she should unfailingly intuit exactly what you need, even if you don't ask for it. This fantasy may seem romantic, but it can sink the most promising alliances.

To counteract any tendencies you might have to indulge in the assumption of clairvoyance, practice stating your desires aloud.

"Whoever travels without a guide needs 200 years for a two-day journey." That's an old Sufi saying sometimes attributed to the poet Rumi. I don't think it's accurate in all cases. Sometimes we are drawn to wander into frontiers that few people have visited and none have mastered. There are no guides! On other occasions, we can't get the fullness of our learning experience unless we are free to stumble and bumble all by ourselves. A knowledgeable helper would only interfere with that odd magic. But right now, Virgo, I believe the Sufi saying holds true for you. Where you're headed, you would benefit from an advisor, teacher, or role model.

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Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Write the following on a piece of red paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day, [put date here], that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."

There's a meme rolling around Tumblr and Facebook that goes like this: "Everyone wants a magical solution for their problems, but they refuse to believe in magic." Judging from the astrological omens, I think this Internet folk wisdom applies to your current situation. As I see it, you have two choices. If you intend to keep fantasizing about finding a magical solution, you will have to work harder to believe in magic. But if you can't finagle your brain into actually believing in magic, you should stop fantasizing about a magical solution. Which will it be?

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To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Even if your heart's not exactly shattered at the moment, it has no doubt been so at some time in the past. I invite you to feel a wave of sadness about your suffering, then move on to this possibility: that having a broken heart is one of the best things that can happen to you.

Why? Because it strengthens your humility, which makes you smarter. It demonstrates to you that you have a tremendous capacity for deep feelings -- far more than you're normally aware of. It breaks down defense mechanisms that have desensitized you to the world's secret beauty. It may also inspire you to treat other people's hearts with greater care, making it more likely that you'll be able to create intelligent intimacy in the future.

I have taken a passage from a letter that Henry Miller wrote to Anais Nin, and I have chopped it up and rearranged it and added to it so as to create an oracle that's perfect for you right now. Ready? "This is the wild dream: you with your chameleon’s soul being anchored always in no matter what storm, sensing you are at home wherever you are. You asserting yourself, getting the rich varied life you desire; and the more you assert yourself, the more you love going deeper, thicker, fuller. Resurrection after resurrection: that's your gift, your promise. The insatiable delight of constant change."

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Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Compose and cast a love spell on yourself. There's no need to consult pagan books about how to proceed. It may even be better if you improvise homemade conjurations and incantations.

Be sure to formulate a clear intention of what you want to accomplish with your mojo. Example: "I want to make myself irresistibly lovable." For best results, stand naked in front of an altar crammed with magical objects that symbolize both lust and compassion.

One of your important assignments in the coming week is to get high without the use of drugs and alcohol. Let me elaborate. In my oracular opinion, you simply must escape the numbing trance of the daily rhythm. Experiencing altered states of awareness will provide you with crucial benefits. At the same time, you can't afford to risk hurting yourself, and it's essential to avoid stupidly excessive behavior that has negative repercussions. So what do you think? Do you have any methods to get sozzled and squiffed or jiggled and jingled that will also keep you sane and healthy?

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Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Bring the spirits of sampling and the mash-up into your relationship life. Sampling is what happens when a musician openly lifts a riff out of an existing song and inserts it into his or her own composition. In a mash-up, a producer takes parts from two different songs to assemble a new song that has elements of both originals but is an entirely new creation.

How might you apply these approaches to your collaborations with intimate allies? For example, you could "sample" a close friend's favorite catchphrases or clothes, and use them as your own. Or tell that person a story from his or her own past, but recount it as if it happened to you. The two of you could write a journal entry together, taking turns spinning out each new line. You might even switch roles for a day, trying out what it actually feels like to be the other person.

Singer Gloria Gaynor recorded the song "I Will Survive" in 1978. It sold over two million copies and ultimately became an iconic disco anthem. And yet it was originally the B-side of "Substitute," the song that Gaynor's record company released as her main offering. Luckily, radio DJs ignored "Substitute" and played the hell out of "I Will Survive," making it a global hit. I foresee the possibility of a similar development for you, Capricorn. What you currently consider to be secondary should perhaps be primary. A gift or creation or skill you think is less important could turn out to be pre-eminent.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Play the game called "Tell me the story of your scars." It's best to do it with a skilled empath who is curious about your fate's riddles and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.

"How did you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she might begin, and you describe the time in childhood when you fell on the sidewalk. Then maybe he or she would say, "Why do you always look so sad when you hear that song?" And you'd narrate the tale of how it was playing when an old lover broke your heart. The questions and answers continue until you unveil the history of your hurts, both physical and psychic. Treat yourself to this game soon.

I'm tempted to furrow my brow and raise my voice as I tell you to please please please go out and do the dicey task you've been postponing. But that would just be a way to vent my frustration, and probably not helpful or constructive for you. So here's my wiser advice: To prepare for that dicey task, lock yourself in your sanctuary until you figure out what you first need to change about yourself before you can accomplish the dicey task. I think that once you make the inner shift, doing the deed will be pretty easy.

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Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You understand that you can never own love, right? No matter how much someone adores you today, no matter how much you adore someone, you can't force that unique state of grace to keep its shape forever. It will inevitably evolve or mutate, perhaps into a different version of tender caring, but maybe not. From there it will continue to change, into either yet another version of interesting affection, or who knows what else?

Describe how you could get the hang of putting this tricky wisdom into practice.

In the fairy tale "The Ugly Duckling," the young hero suffers from a peculiar case of mistaken identity. He believes that he is a duck. All of his problems stem from this erroneous idea. By duck standards, he is a homely mess. He gets taunted and abused by other animals, goes into exile, and endures terrible loneliness. In the end, though, his anguish dissolves when he finally realizes that he is in fact a swan. United with his true nature, he no longer compares himself to an inappropriate ideal. Fellow swans welcome him into their community, and he flies away with them. Is there anything in this story that resonates with you, Pisces? I'm guessing there is. It's high time to free yourself from false notions about who you really are.

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No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valery. While there's a grain of truth to that, it's too corny and decadent for my tastes. I prefer to focus on a more interesting truth, which is this: Real love is being smart together. If you weave your destiny together with another's, he or she should catalyze your sleeping potentials, sharpen your perceptions, and boost both your emotional and analytical intelligence. Your relationship becomes a crucible in which you deepen your understanding of the way the world works.

Give an example of your closest approach to this model in your own life. Then formulate a vow in which you promise you'll do what's necessary to more fully embody the principle "Love is being smart together."