Free Will Astrology


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of July 24th, 2014

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
A report in the prestigious British medical journal BMJ says that almost one percent of young pregnant women in the U.S. claim to be virgins. They testify that they have conceived a fetus without the benefit of sex. That's impossible, right? Technically, yes. But if there could ever be a loophole in natural law, it would happen for you Aries sometime in the coming weeks. You will be so exceptionally fertile, so prone to hatching new life, that almost anything could incite germination. A vivid dream or captivating idea or thrilling adventure or exotic encounter might be enough to do the trick.

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Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Rainer Maria Rilke: "For one human being to love another is the most difficult task of all. It’s the work for which all other work is mere preparation."
Teilhard de Chardin: "Someday after we have mastered the winds, the waves, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, human beings will have discovered fire."
Leo Tolstoy: "Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."
Blaise Pascal: "If you do not love too much, you do not love enough."
Emily Dickinson: "Until you have loved, you cannot become yourself."

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
As you weave your way through the next chapter of your story, I suggest you take inspiration from the turtle. You may even want to imagine that the turtle is your animal ally, a guide that helps you access the gradual and deliberate kind of intelligence you will need. Moving quickly will not be appropriate for the leisurely lessons that are coming your way. The point is to be deep and thorough about a few things rather than half-knowledgeable about a lot of things. There's one other turtle-like quality I hope you will cultivate, too: the ability to feel at home wherever you are.

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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
America's biggest winery is E & J Gallo. It sells more wine than any other company, and has been named the planet's "Most Powerful Wine Brand" four different years. Ernest and Julio Gallo launched the enterprise in 1933 after studying the art of winemaking in pamphlets they found in the basement of a public library in Modesto, California. I foresee a less spectacular but metaphorically similar arc for you, Gemini. Sometime soon -- maybe it has already happened -- information or inspiration you come across in a modest setting will launch you on the path to future success. There is one caveat: You must take seriously the spark you encounter, and not underestimate it because it appears in humble circumstances.

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I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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ARGUMENTS WITH GOD is the only organization on the planet that specializes in the art of debating with the Creator. Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by, ready to deliver the protests and complaints that you want to convey. Send your mad, rebellious, poignant appeals to Truthrooster@gmail.com, and we will relay them directly to the Cosmic Trickster with persuasive eloquence. Write your first draft.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Diamonds are not rare. They are so numerous that if they were evenly distributed, you and me and everyone else on the planet could each have a cupful of them. And if you are ever in your lifetime going to get your personal cupful, it may happen in the next 11 months. That's because your hard work and special talent are more likely than usual to be rewarded with tangible assets. Strokes of luck will tend to manifest in the form of money and treasure and valuable things you can really use. Be alert for the clues, Cancerian. One may appear momentarily.

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All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
According to the legends about Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table, the boy who would ultimately become King Arthur didn't know he was heir to the throne while he was growing up. His future destiny was hidden from him. The wizard Merlin trained him but made sure he never found out he was special. When the old King Uther Pendragon died, a tournament was staged to find a replacement. The winner would be whoever was able to withdraw the enchanted sword that was embedded in a large stone. Quite by accident, our hero got a chance to make an attempt. Success! I have reminded you of the broad outlines of this tale, Leo, because at least one of its elements resembles your destiny in the next 11 months.

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What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When the spell is broken, you will be able to tap into resources you've been cut off from. When the spell is broken, you will finally notice the big, beautiful secrets that have been lying in plain sight. What is that spell? Can you break it yourself? (I think you can.)

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
When a crocodile slams its jaws shut, the energy it summons is powerful. But when the beast opens its jaws, the force it exerts is weak. That's because the muscles used to close are much more robust than the muscles used to open. I'm wondering if an analogous story might be told about you these days, Virgo. Are you more prone to close down than to open up? Is it easier for you to resist, avoid, and say no than it is to be receptive, extend a welcome, and say yes? If so, please consider cultivating a better balance. You need both capacities running at full strength in the coming days.

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Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In the early years of Christianity, there were hundreds of books interpreting the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. But by 325 A.D., a group backed by the political and military might of the Roman Empire had determined which few of the stories about Christ would thereafter be considered the canonical New Testament, and which would be regarded as heretical bilge.

No better evidence exists for the saying, "History is a tale told by the victors." Keep this in mind as you strategize your way through your personal War of the Stories. Your account of events may have more truth in it than everyone else's conflicting tales, but that won't carry much weight unless you obtain the power to enforce your version.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
In the latter part of the 18th century, American rebels and rabble-rousers used to gather regularly in the basement of the Green Dragon Tavern in Boston. There they plotted the Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere's ride, and other dissident adventures that opposed British Rule. That's why the Green Dragon became known as the "Headquarters of the Revolution." I think you and your cohorts need a place like that, Libra. It's high time for you to scheme and dream about taking coordinated actions that will spur teamwork and foster liberation.

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Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In response to our culture's ever-rising levels of noise and frenzy, rites of purification have become more popular. Many people now recognize the value of taking periodic retreats. Withdrawing from their usual compulsions, they go on fasts, avoid mass media, practice celibacy, or even abstain from speaking. While we applaud cleansing ceremonies like this, we recommend balancing them with periodic outbreaks of an equal and opposite custom: the Bliss Blitz.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
"When one has not had a good father, one must create one," said philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. What does that mean? How might you go about "creating" a good father? Well, you could develop a relationship with an admirable older man who is an inspiring role model. You could read books by men whose work stirs you to actualize your own potentials. If you have a vigorous inner life, you could build a fantasy dad in your imagination. Here's another possibility: Cultivate in yourself the qualities you think a good father should have. And even if you actually had a pretty decent father, Scorpio, I'm sure he wasn't perfect. So it still might be interesting to try out some of these ideas. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to get more of the fathering energy you would thrive on.

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You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness. After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches. Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was "engaged in a conversation with eternity." Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh's "Please Call Me by My True Names," the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.

Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity's surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.

Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze's tale upon his return from Antarctica. "You might want to consider this, Firenze," Michael mused after taking it all in. "Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food—mixing it up with all God's enzymes—and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies. Perhaps you weren't the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?"

Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
"If I seem free, it's because I'm always running." So said Sagittarian musician Jimi Hendrix, widely regarded as one of the most inventive and electrifying guitarists who ever lived. Does that prospect have any appeal to you, Sagittarius? I don't, of course, recommend that you keep running for the rest of your long life. After a while, it will be wise to rest and ruminate. But I do think it might be illuminating to try this brazen approach for a week or two. If it feels right, you might also want to mix in some dancing and skipping and leaping with your running.

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Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The 17th-century surgeon Wilhelm Hilden had an interesting theory about healing. He developed a medicinal salve that he applied not to the wound itself but rather to the weapon that inflicted it. Though today we may sneer at such foolishness, the fact is that Hilden's approach has great potential if used for psychic wounds. Jesus understood this when he articulated the revolutionary formula, "Love your enemy." More than any other action, this strategy has the power to cure you of the distortions your enemy has unleashed in you. Try it out.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
In the next 11 months, Capricorn, you will be given some choice riddles about the art of togetherness. To solve them, you will have to learn much more about the arts of intimacy -- or else! It's up to you: Either work your ass off as you strengthen your important relationships, or else risk watching them unravel. But don't take this as a grim, sobering assignment. On the contrary! Play hard. Experiment freely. Be open to unexpected inspiration. Have fun deepening your emotional intelligence. That approach will work best.

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When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Cancer cells are constantly developing in our bodies. Luckily, our immune systems routinely kill them off. Similarly, our minds always harbor pockets of crazy-making misconceptions and faulty imprints. They usually don't rise up and render us insane thanks to the psychic versions of our immune systems.

How can you stay strong in your ability to fight off sickness and madness? You know the drill: Eat healthy food, sleep well, get physical exercise, minimize stress, give and receive love. But as an aspiring pronoiac, you have at your disposal other actions that can provide powerful boosts to your immune system. Here are examples:

Scheme to put yourself in the path of beautiful landscapes, buildings, art, and creatures.

Exercise your imagination regularly. Get in the habit of feeding your mind's eye images that fill you with wonder and vitality.

Eliminate uhs, you knows, I means, and other junk words from your speech. Avoid saying things you don't really mean and haven't thought out. Stop yourself when tempted to make scornful assertions about people.

Every night before you fall asleep, review the day's activities in your mind's eye. As if watching a movie about yourself, try to be calmly objective as you observe your memories from the previous 16 hours. Be especially alert for moments when you strayed from your purpose and didn't live up to your highest standards.

With a companion, sit in front of a turned-off TV as you make up a pronoiac story that features tricky benevolence, scintillating harmony, and amusing redemption. Speak this tale aloud or write it down.

Take on an additional job title, beautifier. Put it on your business card and do something every day to cultivate your skill. If you're a people person, bring grace and intrigue into your conversations; ask unexpected questions that provoke original thoughts. If you're an artist, leave samples of your finest work in public places. If you're a psychologist or sociologist, point out the institutions and relationships that are working really well. Whatever you do best, be alert for how you can refine it and offer it up to those who'll benefit from it.

If you're going through a phase when you feel you have nothing especially beautiful to offer, or if you think it would be self-indulgent to inject your own aesthetic into shared environments, turn for help to great artists and thinkers. Sneak O'Keeffe or Chagall prints onto unadorned walls in public places, for instance. Memorize poems by Rilke and Hafiz, and slip them into your conversations when appropriate. Program your cell phone so that its ring is Vivaldi's Stabat Mater in C Minor. Scrawl passages from Annie Dillard's Teaching a Stone to Talk on the walls of public lavatories.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
Hypothesis: The exciting qualities that attract you to someone in the first place will probably drive you a bit crazy if you go on to develop a long-term relationship. That doesn't mean you should avoid seeking connections with intriguing people who captivate your imagination. It does suggest you should have no illusions about what you are getting yourself into. It also implies that you should cultivate a sense of humor about how the experiences that rouse your passion often bring you the best tests and trials. And why am I discussing these eccentric truths with you right now? Because I suspect you will be living proof of them in the months to come.

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Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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What if the Creator is like Rainer Maria Rilke's God, "like a webbing made of a hundred roots, that drink in silence"? What if the Source of All Life inhabits both the dark and the light, heals with strange splendor as much as with sweet insight, is hermaphroditic and omnisexual? What if the Source loves to give you riddles that push you past the boundaries of your understanding, forcing you to deepen your perceptions and change the way you think about everything? Close your eyes and imagine you can sense the presence of this tender, marvelous, difficult, entertaining intelligence.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
In 1961, Paul Cezanne's painting The Artist's Sister was on display at a museum in Aix-en-Provence, France. Then a lucky event occurred: It was stolen. When it was finally recovered months later, it had been ripped out of its frame. An art restorer who was commissioned to repair it discovered that there was a previously-unknown Cezanne painting on the back of the canvas. As a result, the appraisal of the original piece rose $75,000. Now both sides are on view at the St. Louis City Art Museum. I foresee a comparable progression in your life, Pisces. An apparent setback will ultimately increase your value.

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How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. Are you interested in becoming a wildly disciplined, fiercely tender, scrupulously curious, aggressively sensitive, lyrically logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss? Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be.

© Rob Brezsny 1995-2024