"We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us," writes novelist Robert R. McCammon. "We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow path and told to be responsible." That's the bad news, Aries. But now here's the good news: The next 12 months will offer you a series of excellent opportunities to re-magic yourself. If you have not yet caught wind of the first invitation, I bet you will soon.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.

"When given a choice between owning an object and having an experience," says art critic Holland Cotter, "I always choose the experience." He prefers to spend his money on adventures that transform his sense of self and his understanding of the world. I recommend that approach to you in the coming weeks, Taurus. The most valuable "possessions" you can acquire will be the lessons you learn, the skills you hone, and the relationships you ripen.

Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
The ancient Greek word klimax had several meanings. Here's the Beauty and Truth Lab's favorite definition: a ladder to heaven by which a dreamer's soul ascends to have an erotic tryst with a divine being who imparts fascinating secrets. Before you go to bed on the next five nights, tell your subconscious mind that you want to get yourself a klimax like that.

In Marcel Proust's novel Swann's Way, the narrator speaks of how profoundly he is inspired by an older writer named Bergotte: "Each time he talked about something whose beauty had until then been hidden from me, about pine forests, about hail, about Notre-Dame Cathedral . . . with one image he would make that beauty explode into me." I bring this to your attention, Gemini, because in the coming days I suspect a great deal of beauty will explode into you. Why? I think it's because you're more receptive than usual to being delighted and enchanted. The triggers could be anything: exciting people, eavesdropped conversations, good books, surprising music, and who knows what else?

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
In the Beauty and Truth Lab parlance, "Uber-Fun" (always capitalized) refers to righteous delight that inspires you to shed limiting beliefs, thereby making you trickier, smarter, kinder, and wilder. Go out and have some Uber-Fun.

"Little horses cannot carry great riders." So says a Haitian proverb. Now, in accordance with the astrological omens, I'm urging you to meditate on its meaning for your life. Here are four possible interpretations: 1. Are you a "little horse" trying to carry a "great rider" who's too much for you? 2. Are you a little horse that could grow into a bigger, stronger horse worthy of a great rider? 3. Are you a "great rider" who is in need of a horse that is big and strong enough to serve your big, strong ambitions? 4. Would you like to be a "great rider," but you can't be one as long as you have a horse that is too small and weak?

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
ARGUMENTS WITH GOD is the only organization on the planet that specializes in the art of debating with the Creator. Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by, ready to deliver the protests and complaints that you want to convey. Send your mad, rebellious, poignant appeals to uaregod@comcast.net, and we will relay them directly to the Cosmic Trickster with persuasive eloquence. Write your first draft.

Declare victory, Leo. Even if victory is not quite won yet. Even if your success is imperfect and still a bit messy around the edges. Raise your arms up in elated triumph and shout, "I am the purified champion! I am the righteous conqueror! I have outsmarted my adversaries and outmaneuvered my obstacles, and now I am ready to claim my rightful rewards!" Do this even if you're not 100-percent confident, even if there is still some scraping or clawing ahead of you. Celebrate your growing mastery. Congratulate yourself for how far you've come. In this way, you will summon what's needed to complete your mission and achieve final, total victory.

I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.

Give special attention to what will last the longest. That's my main recommendation for you in the coming weeks. Devote less of your energy to transitory pleasures and short-term hopes. Turn away from the small obsessions that demand far too much of your energy. Withdraw from the seemingly pressing concerns that will soon start to fade because they really aren't that important. Instead, Virgo, devote your love and intelligence to the joys and dilemmas that will animate your life well into the future. Express reverence and care for the mysteries that will teach you and teach you and teach you for years to come.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Naturalist John Burroughs may have been addressing your current needs when he wrote the following: "The lesson which life constantly enforces is 'Look underfoot.' You are always nearer to the true sources of your power than you think. The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are. Every place is the center of the world."

My favorite bridge in the world is the Golden Gate Bridge. In the hundreds of times I have driven on it over San Francisco Bay, it has never let me down. I've always gotten from one side to the other without any problem. In addition to its reliability, it uplifts me with its grandeur and beauty. What's your most beloved bridge, Libra? I suggest that in the coming weeks you make it your lucky charm, your magical symbol. Why? Because the next chapter of your life story requires you to make a major crossing. You will traverse a great divide. Having your favorite bridge as a shining beacon in your imagination will inspire your strength and courage as you travel.

Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
You're hereby invited to join the Clandestine Indigenous Revolutionary Committee Devoted to the Ingenious Liberation of All Sentient Beings. To signify your desire to sign up, simply perform an act of crafty compassion that reduces someone's suffering.

U2's Bono has called Leonard Cohen's song "Hallelujah" "the most perfect song in the world." It is mournful and triumphant, despairing and uplifting. It's a riddle that improbably offers cathartic release. Over 300 recording artists have done cover versions of it, and it has even been the subject of books. And yet it was a challenge for Cohen to compose. He wrote more than 80 verses before choosing the few he would actually include in the final version, and in one famous session he resorted to banging his head on the floor to stimulate his creative flow. "To find that urgent song," he said, took "a lot of work and a lot of sweat." I nominate "Hallelujah" to be one of your sacred symbols for the next 12 months, Scorpio. From your strenuous effort, I predict, will come masterful creations.

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Where exactly is Hell in relation to Heaven, anyway? Is it the equivalent of a billion light-years away? Or are they located within shouting distance of each other? Lots of ancient religious texts suggest the latter. Yalkut Koheleth, a Jewish commentary on the Biblical book Ecclesiastes, claimed the two domains were just "a hand-breadth apart." In Greek myth, the blessed Elysian Fields were situated right next door to Hades. "The doors to heaven and hell are adjacent and identical," wrote Nikos Kazantzakis, "both green, both beautiful."

Let me outline the breakthroughs I hope to see for you in the coming months. First, what is pretty good about you will not interfere with what is potentially great about you, but will instead cooperate with it and boost it. Second, your past accomplishments won't hold back your progress; you will not be tempted to rely on them at the expense of your future accomplishments. And third, the brave ideas that have motivated you so well won't devolve into staid old dogmas; you will either renew and reinvigorate them or else move on to a new set of brave ideas.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
The alchemists said the magic formula for enlightenment was Visita Inferiora Terrae Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem, or "Seek out the lower reaches of the earth, perfect them, and you will find the hidden stone" -- the treasured philosopher's stone. Jungian psychologists might describe the process this way: Engage in a relationship with the blind and sickly parts of yourself, perfect them, and you will awaken your hidden divinity.

If you are in even moderate alignment with cosmic rhythms during the next 12 months, you will be a connoisseur and master of recycling. I'm speaking metaphorically here. What I hope is that you will reanimate worn-out inspirations and convert faded dreams into shiny new fantasies. You will find ways to revive alliances that went off track. A once-vibrant shtick or trick that lost its cool could be retrieved from the ash heap of history and turned into a fresh, hot asset. Gear yourself up for some entertaining resurrections.

To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"Objection, evasion, joyous distrust, and love of irony are signs of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology." So proclaimed Friedrich Nietzsche in Beyond Good and Evil. Note well that he used the adjective "joyous" to describe distrust, not "cynical" or "grumbling" or "sour." The key to remaining vital and strong while questioning every so-called absolute is to cultivate a cheerful, buoyant mood as you do it.

I wish I could tell you that your power animal this month is the eagle or dolphin or panther. Having a glamorous creature like that as your ally might boost your confidence and charisma. To be paired with one of them might even activate dormant reserves of your animal intelligence. But I can't in good conscience authorize such an honor. That's not what the astrological omens are suggesting. In fact, your power animal this June is the bunny rabbit. Please understand that there is no shame in this. On the contrary. You should be charmed and appreciative. It signifies that you will be fertile, fast, a bit tricky, and very cute. (To read an essay on the mythology of the rabbit as trickster, go here: http://bit.ly/rabbittrickster.)

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
You know about the Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov, who discovered the conditioned reflex. In his famous experiment, he trained laboratory dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell.

You may not have heard, though, about the story's surprise ending. The dogs were programmed for weeks with such rigor that their behavior became as predictable as machines. Then one day a flood inundated the lab. In the confusion, the dogs forgot all their training instantly. (Source: Raoul Vaneigem, The Revolution of Everyday Life)

The Buddhist meditation teacher Chogyam Trungpa said that one of the best ways to become fearless is to cultivate tenderness. As you expand your heart's capacity to feel compassionate affection for the world, you have less and less to be afraid of. That's the opposite of the conventional wisdom, which says you become brave by toughening up, by reinforcing your psychic armor. Of all the signs of the zodiac, you Pisceans are best set up to benefit from Trungpa's method -- now even more than usual.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Imagine that the whole world belongs to you. The birch trees in New Hampshire's White Mountains are yours, and so are the cirrus clouds in the western sky at dusk and the black sand on the beaches of Hawaii's Big Island. You own everything, my dear sovereign -- the paintings in all the museums of the world, as well as the Internet and the wild horses and the eight-lane highways.

Please take good care of it all, OK? Be an enlightened monarch who treats your domain with reverent responsibility. And make sure you also enjoy the full measure of fun that comes with such mastery. Glide through life as if all of creation is yearning to honor and entertain you.