Free Will Astrology


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of April 3rd, 2014

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
In his novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera says that the brain has "a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful." In the coming days, it will be especially important for you to tap into this power spot in your own grey matter, Aries. You need to activate and stir up the feelings of enchantment that are stored there. Doing so will make you fully alert and available for the new delights that will be swirling in your vicinity. The operative principle is like attracts like.


Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"We are attracted to people who express the qualities we deny or repress in ourselves," says creativity expert Shakti Gawain. Using this idea as your hypothesis, take an inventory of the people you're most drawn to. Ask yourself whether they have talents and dreams that you wish could come alive in you. If you find this to be the case, consider the possibility that it's time to claim those talents or dreams as your own.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Our ancestors could see the Milky Way Galaxy spread out across the heavens on every clear night. Galileo said it was so bright, it cast a shadow of his body on the ground. But today that glorious spectacle is invisible to us city-dwellers. The sky after sundown is polluted with artificial light that hides 90 percent of the 2,000 stars we might otherwise see. If you want to bask in the natural illumination, you've got to travel to a remote area where the darkness is deeper. Let's make that your metaphor, Taurus. Proceed on the hypothesis that a luminous source of beauty is concealed from you. To become aware of it, you must seek out a more profound darkness.


I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Pathologist Paul Wolf has suggested that some of history's great artists may have never created their masterpieces if the wonders of modern medicine had been available to them. For example, what if doctors had cured van Gogh's mental illness with a regimen of drugs like Prozac and Xanax?

Maybe he would have been spared the torment that goaded him to the outbursts of genius that erupted on his canvases.

Are there ways in which the very things that have driven you crazy might play a role in your finest accomplishments?

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
"Dear Gemini: I don't demand your total attention and I don't need your unconditional approval. I will never restrict your freedom or push you to explain yourself. All I truly want to do is to warm myself in the glow of your intelligence. Can you accept that? I have this theory that your sparkle is contagious -- that I'll get smarter about how to live my own life if I can simply be in your presence. What do you say? In return, I promise to deepen your appreciation for yourself and show you secrets about how best to wield your influence. -Your Secret Admirer."


For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"Nothing's going right in my life. I feel anxious and paranoid all the time. My relationships are a mess." In my line of work, people make confessions like that to me. My first response is usually something like this: "Do you habitually gobble junk food near bedtime, steal a paltry five hours of sleep per night, gulp two cups of coffee and no breakfast in the morning, then bolt to a workplace where you get no sunlight or exercise and sit in an uncomfortable chair?" They often reply, "You must be psychic! How did you know?!" My point is that many psychological troubles stem from our chronic failure to take good care

Name three things you can do to promote pronoia in yourself by taking better care of your body.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
The Cancerian artist Rembrandt became one of the world's greatest painters. It was a struggle. "I can't paint the way they want me to paint," he said about those who questioned his innovative approach. "I have tried and I have tried very hard, but I can't do it. I just can't do it!" We should be glad the master failed to meet his critics' expectations. His work's unique beauty didn't get watered down. But there was a price to pay. "That is why I am just a little crazy," Rembrandt concluded. Here's the moral of the story: To be true to your vision and faithful to your purpose, you may have to deal with being a little crazy. Are you willing to make that trade-off?


Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Rural communities in southern Louisiana celebrate Mardi Gras with even more anarchistic exuberance than the festivities that take place in New Orleans. Roving gangs of masked revelers stop cars and good-naturedly demand money and gifts from drivers. Clowns with feathered headdresses knock on people's doors after midnight begging for ingredients to make gumbo. Mardi Gras out in the sticks "is a lot like tickling," says professor of folklore, Barry Ancelet. "When you get tickled it makes you laugh, but it also makes you feel uncomfortable."

Is there anything that incites both your laughter and your discomfort? Perhaps a thorny opportunity you have the privilege of suffering from? A prickly advantage that makes your blood boil and sing simultaneously? An awkward gratification that fuels your ambition to become the person you were born to be?

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
The Indian spiritual teacher Nisargadatta Maharaj offered a three-stage fable to symbolize one's progression toward enlightenment. In the first stage, you are inside a cage located in a forest where a tiger prowls. You're protected by the cage, so the tiger can't hurt you. On the other hand, you're trapped. In the second stage, the tiger is inside the cage and you roam freely through the forest. The beautiful animal is trapped. In the third stage, the tiger is out of the cage and you have tamed it. It's your ally and you are riding around on its back. I believe this sequence has resemblances to the story you'll be living in the coming months. Right now you're inside the cage and the tiger is outside. By mid-May the tiger will be in the cage and you'll be outside. By your birthday, I expect you to be riding the tiger.


What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
What is "soul work," anyway? It's like when you make an unpredictable gift for someone you love. Or when you bravely identify one of your unripe qualities and resolve to use all your willpower and ingenuity to ripen it. Soul work is when you wade into a party full of rowdy drunks and put your meditation skills to the acid test. It's like when you teach yourself not merely to tolerate smoldering ambiguity, but to be amused by it and even thrive on it. Can you think of other examples? It's Soul Work Week for you.


Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
I'm smarter in some places than in others. In Florence, Amsterdam, and Milwaukee, my IQ is off the charts. In Munich, Madrid, and Washington, D.C., I'm rather dull-witted. Even in Northern California, where I usually live, some spots are more conducive to my higher brain functioning. I'm an idiot on Market Street in San Francisco, whereas I'm awash in wise insights whenever I set foot on Mt. Tamalpais.

What's this about? The specialized branch of astrology called astrocartography would say that the full potentials of my horoscope are more likely to emerge in certain power spots. What about you? Wander around and test to see where you feel most in tune with your deep brilliance.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
Are you close to anyone who is a catalytic listener? Is there a person who tunes in to what you say with such fervent receptivity that you get inspired to reveal truths you didn't realize you knew? If so, invite this superstar out to a free lunch or two in the coming days. If not, see if you can find one. Of course, it is always a blessing to have a heart-to-heart talk with a soul friend, but it is even more crucial than usual for you to treat yourself to this luxury now. Hints of lost magic are near the surface of your awareness. They're still unconscious, but could emerge into full view during provocative conversations with an empathetic ally.


To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
The force of gravity is omnipresent, even though it can't be seen, heard, or touched, and almost no one can explain it. There ­wasn't even a word for it until the 17th century, when Isaac Newton discovered it and named it after the Latin term gravitas, meaning "heaviness" or "seriousness."

As you deepen your inquiries into pronoia, you may enjoy a similar breakthrough. Can you imagine what it would feel like to become aware of an omnipresent ocean of wild divine love that has always been a secret to you in the same way that the sea is invisible to a fish?

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
On my blog, I quoted author Ray Bradbury: "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." I asked my readers what word they would use in place of "writing" to describe how they avoided being destroyed by reality. Popular responses were love, music, whiskey, prayer, dreams, gratitude, and yoga. One woman testified that she stayed drunk on sexting, while another said "collecting gargoyles from medieval cathedrals," and a third claimed her secret was "jumping over hurdles while riding a horse." There was even a rebel who declared she stayed drunk on writing so she could destroy reality. My question is important for you to meditate on, Scorpio. Right now you must do whatever's necessary to keep from being messed with by reality.


Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
What's true about the word "God" may apply as well to "soul": Much of the meaning has been sucked out of it. It's a flabby ghost that has lost its life force. Say "soul" and you're liable to numb your listeners' attention. At best you may inspire them to picture a vague floating blob that feels more like an abstract concept than a real presence. That's a shame, because the eminence that's lazily referred to as "soul" is as crucial to you waking up tomorrow as your heart.

"If you need to visualize the soul," wrote Tom Robbins, "think of it as a cross between a wolf howl, a photon, and a dribble of dark molasses. But what it really is, as near as I can tell, is a packet of information. It's a program, a piece of hyperspatial software designed explicitly to interface with the Mystery. Not a mystery, mind you, the Mystery. The one that can never be solved."

As part of the Beauty and Truth Lab's ongoing crusade to wrestle the English language into a more formidable servant of the ecstatic impulse, we're pleased to present some alternate designations for "soul." See if any of the following concoctions feel right coming out of your mouth: 1. undulating superconductor; 2. nectar plasma; 3. golden lather; 4. smoldering crucible; 5. luminous caduceus.

If none of these work for you—or even if they do—create your own terms.

P.S. Here's Robbins' conclusion: "By waxing soulful you will have granted yourself the possibility of ecstatic participation in what the ancients considered a divinely animated universe."

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Does your mother know what you are up to these days? Let's hope not. I doubt if she would fully approve, and that might inhibit your enthusiasm for the experiments you are exploring. It's probably best to keep your father out of the loop as well, along with other honchos, cynics, or loved ones who might be upset if you wander outside of your usual boundaries. And as for those clucking voices in your head: Give them milk and cookies, but don't pay attention to their cautious advice. You need to be free of the past, free of fearful influences, and free of the self you're in the process of outgrowing.


Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. Chemist John Walker invented the match. Physicist Wilhelm Röentgen was the first person to find out about X-rays.

What do these great minds have in common? They all refused to take out patents in connection with their innovations, believing they shouldn't make any profit on something that should belong to everyone.

Try giving away some of your brilliance for free.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
For the foreseeable future, I urge you not to spend much time wrangling with bureaucrats and know-it-alls. Avoid frustrating projects that would require meticulous discipline. Don't even think about catching up on paperwork or organizing your junk drawer or planning the next five years of your career. Instead, focus on taking long meandering walks to nowhere in particular. Daydream about an epic movie based on your life story. Flirt with being a lazy bum. Play noncompetitive games with unambitious people. Here's why: Good ideas and wise decisions are most likely to percolate as you are lounging around doing nothing -- and feeling no guilt for doing nothing.


Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
"Don't eat any food that's incapable of rotting," says Michael Pollan in his book In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto. In other words, highly processed foods with a long shelf life don't contribute to your optimum vitality.

I'd like to expand this rule to make it an all-purpose guideline for life. Try out this hypothesis: If you're involved with any person or situation that never decays, or if there is some part of you that never decays, that's highly suspicious and may be a problem. Like growth, rot is a natural phenomenon. Indeed, every advancement requires or brings the disintegration of whatever it replaces. You can't grow if you don't rot. The "perfection" of stasis can be hazardous to your health.

What's ripe to rot in your world?

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
Are you waiting? Are you wondering and hoping? Are you calculating whether you are needed, and if so, how much? Do you wish the signs were clearer about how deeply you should commit yourself? Are you on edge as you try to gauge what your exact role is in the grand scheme of things? I'm here to deliver a message from the universe about how you should proceed. It's a poem by Emily Dickinson: "They might not need me but – they might – / I'll let my Heart be just in sight – / A smile so small as mine might be / Precisely their necessity -"


Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
No matter how holy and good, everyone in the world has a portion of the world's sickness inside them. It's known by many names: neurosis, shadow, demon, devil. Many people try to deny that it inhabits them. Others acknowledge its power so readily that they allow themselves to be overwhelmed and distorted by it.

At the Beauty and Truth Lab, we take a position between those two positions. We accept the fact that the evil is part of us, but treat it with compassionate amusement and flexible vigilance. Our stance is partly that of loving parents and partly that of warriors.

Once you make a commitment to explore the mysteries of pronoia, your shadow will try to play tricks on you that it has never tried before. How will you respond? We recommend an aggressive, tender, improvisational approach. Be ready for anything. Avoid both blithe excesses of tolerance and grave fundamentalism.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
You will soon get a second chance. An opportunity you failed to capitalize on in the past will re-emerge in an even more welcoming guise, and you will snag it this time. You weren't ready for it the first time it came around, but you are ready now! It's probably a good thing the connection didn't happen earlier, because at that time the magic wasn't fully ripe. But the magic is ripe now!


No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
In the Greek epic The Odyssey, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe, who uses her magic to transform the men into pigs. Later, though, she changes them back into men -- only they're younger and taller and better-looking than before they were pigs.

What's an analogous story from your own life? You know, an experience in which you were kind of turned into a pig for a while, and became a more robust version of yourself when the spell was broken.

© Rob Brezsny 1995-2024