Free Will Astrology


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of June 6th, 2013

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
The longest natural arch in the world is the Fairy Bridge in Guangxi Province, China. Made of limestone, this 400-foot-wide span crosses over the Buliu River. No one outside of China knew about it until 2009, when an American explorer spied it on Google Earth. Let's make the Fairy Bridge your metaphor of the month, Aries. Judging by the astrological omens, I suspect there's a good chance you will soon find something like a natural, previously hidden bridge. In other words, be alert for a link between things you didn't know were connected.


Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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What if the Creator is like Rainer Maria Rilke's God, "like a webbing made of a hundred roots, that drink in silence"? What if the Source of All Life inhabits both the dark and the light, heals with strange splendor as much as with sweet insight, is hermaphroditic and omnisexual? What if the Source loves to give you riddles that push you past the boundaries of your understanding, forcing you to deepen your perceptions and change the way you think about everything? Close your eyes and imagine you can sense the presence of this tender, marvelous, difficult, entertaining intelligence.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
I hope that in recent weeks you've made yourself a master of sticky and intricate details. I trust you've been working harder and smarter than you have in a long time. Have you, Taurus? Have you been grunting and sweating a lot, exerting yourself in behalf of good causes? Please tell me you have. And please say you're willing to continue for a while longer. The way I see it, your demanding tasks aren't quite finished. In fact, the full reward for your efforts may not become available unless you keep pushing beyond the point that you consider to be your fair share.


You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. Are you interested in becoming a wildly disciplined, fiercely tender, scrupulously curious, aggressively sensitive, lyrically logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss? Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
How free do you want to be, Gemini? A tiny bit free, hemmed in by comfortable complications that require you to rely on white lies? Or would you rather be moderately free in ways that aren't too demanding -- politely, sensibly free? Maybe you feel brave and strong enough to flirt with a breathtaking version of liberation -- a pure, naked freedom that brings you close to the edge of wild abandon and asks you to exercise more responsibility than you're used to. I'm not telling you which kind you should opt for, but I am suggesting that it's best if you do make a conscious choice.


How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Rainer Maria Rilke: "For one human being to love another is the most difficult task of all. It’s the work for which all other work is mere preparation."
Teilhard de Chardin: "Someday after we have mastered the winds, the waves, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, human beings will have discovered fire."
Leo Tolstoy: "Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."
Blaise Pascal: "If you do not love too much, you do not love enough."
Emily Dickinson: "Until you have loved, you cannot become yourself."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
In August 1961, the Communist government of East Germany built the Berlin Wall. It was a thick concrete barrier designed to prevent the oppressed citizens of East Berlin from escaping to freedom in West Berlin. The barrier was eventually policed by armed guards. Traffic between the two Berlins became virtually impossible for the next 28 years. Then a miracle occurred: East German authorities relinquished their stranglehold. They tentatively allowed East Berliners to travel to West Berlin. Soon the Mauerspechte, or "wall woodpeckers," showed up. Armed with hammers and chisels, these people began chipping away at the Wall. Two years later, most of it had been demolished. I hereby assign you to be a wall woodpecker in your own sphere, Cancer. The time is right to demolish a barricade. It may take a while, but you're ready to start.


Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
The following slogan captures the spirit I bring to composing my horoscopes: "I live in the future so that you don't have to." But right now this slogan doesn't apply to you. From what I can tell, you are currently visiting the future as much as I do. Here's what I wonder, though: Are you time-traveling simply to run away from the dilemmas that face you in the present? Or are you taking advantage of your jaunts to acquire revelations that will help you solve those dilemmas once you return?


How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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ARGUMENTS WITH GOD is the only organization on the planet that specializes in the art of debating with the Creator. Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by, ready to deliver the protests and complaints that you want to convey. Send your mad, rebellious, poignant appeals to Truthrooster@gmail.com, and we will relay them directly to the Cosmic Trickster with persuasive eloquence. Write your first draft.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
You know that there are different kinds of stress, right? Some varieties wear you out and demoralize you, while other kinds of stress excite and motivate you. Some lead you away from your long-term goals, and others propel you closer. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to fine-tune your ability to distinguish between them. I suspect that the more you cultivate and seek out the good kind, the less susceptible you'll be to the bad kind.


Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
Studies show that people spend 87 percent of their time inside buildings and six percent in enclosed vehicles. In other words, they are roaming around outside enjoying the wind and sky and weather for only seven percent of their lives. I think you're going to have to do better than that in the coming week, Libra. To ensure your mental hygiene stays robust, you should try to expose yourself to the natural elements at least nine percent of the time. If you manage to hike that rate up to ten percent or higher, you stand a good chance of achieving a spiritual epiphany that will fuel you for months.


How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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When the spell is broken, you will be able to tap into resources you've been cut off from. When the spell is broken, you will finally notice the big, beautiful secrets that have been lying in plain sight. What is that spell? Can you break it yourself?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
Resurrection is the Scorpionic specialty. Better than any other sign of the zodiac, you can summon the power to be reborn. It is your birthright to reanimate dreams and feelings and experiences that have expired, and make them live again in new forms. Your sacred totem is the mythical phoenix, which burns itself in a fire of its own creation and then regenerates itself from the ashes. Now here's the big news headline, Scorpio: I have rarely seen you in possession of more skill to perform these rites than you have right now.


Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In the early years of Christianity, there were hundreds of books interpreting the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. But by 325 A.D., a group backed by the political and military might of the Roman Empire had determined which few of the stories about Christ would thereafter be considered the canonical New Testament, and which would be regarded as heretical bilge.

No better evidence exists for the saying, "History is a tale told by the victors." Keep this in mind as you strategize your way through your personal War of the Stories. Your account of events may have more truth in it than everyone else's conflicting tales, but that won't carry much weight unless you obtain the power to enforce your version.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Octavio Paz spoke to a lover in his poem "Counterparts": "In my body you search the mountain for the sun buried in its forest. In your body I search for the boat adrift in the middle of the night." What have you searched for in the bodies of your lovers, Sagittarius? What mysteries and riddles have you explored while immersed in their depths? How has making love helped you to better understand the meaning of life? I invite you to ruminate on these uncanny joys. Remember the breakthroughs that have come your way thanks to sex. Exult in the spiritual education you have received through your dealings with lust and sensuality. And then go out and stir up some fresh epiphanies.


Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In response to our culture's ever-rising levels of noise and frenzy, rites of purification have become more popular. Many people now recognize the value of taking periodic retreats. Withdrawing from their usual compulsions, they go on fasts, avoid mass media, practice celibacy, or even abstain from speaking. While we applaud cleansing ceremonies like this, we recommend balancing them with periodic outbreaks of an equal and opposite custom: the Bliss Blitz.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
Do you know what minced oaths are? They're rarely used anymore. If you went back a hundred years, though, you'd hear them regularly. They were sanitized swear words, basically; peculiar exclamations that would allow people the emotional release of profanities without causing a ruckus among those who were listening. "Bejabbers!" was one. So were "thunderation! and "dad-blast!" and "consarn!" Here's one of my favorite minced oaths: "By St. Boogar and the saints at the backside door of purgatory!" I bring this up, Capricorn, because I suspect it'll be a minced oath kind of week for you. What I mean is: You'll have every right to get riled up, and you should express your feelings, but not in ways that create problems for you.


Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness. After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches. Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was "engaged in a conversation with eternity." Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh's "Please Call Me by My True Names," the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.

Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity's surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.

Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze's tale upon his return from Antarctica. "You might want to consider this, Firenze," Michael mused after taking it all in. "Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food—mixing it up with all God's enzymes—and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies. Perhaps you weren't the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?"

Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
There's only one correct way to spell the English word "beauty." But that wasn't true centuries ago. Before the advent of the printing press, orthographic anarchy prevailed for many words. Some of beauty's variations included bewte, beaute, beaultye, beuaute, bealte, buute, bewtee, and beaultye. I bring this up, Aquarius, because I think it would be fun and healthy for you to take a respite from having to slavishly obey standardized rules. I'm talking about not just those that apply to spelling, but others, too. See what you can get away with.


Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The 17th-century surgeon Wilhelm Hilden had an interesting theory about healing. He developed a medicinal salve that he applied not to the wound itself but rather to the weapon that inflicted it. Though today we may sneer at such foolishness, the fact is that Hilden's approach has great potential if used for psychic wounds. Jesus understood this when he articulated the revolutionary formula, "Love your enemy." More than any other action, this strategy has the power to cure you of the distortions your enemy has unleashed in you. Try it out.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
In the last chapter of Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel The Brothers Karamazov, the lead character says the following: "There is nothing nobler, stronger, healthier, and more helpful in life than a good remembrance, particularly a remembrance from childhood. A beautiful, holy memory preserved from childhood can be the single most important thing in our development." I bring this up, Pisces, so as to get you in the right frame of mind for this week's featured activity: remembrance. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to reminisce about the old days and the old ways. To do so will enhance your physical health and purify your emotional hygiene.


What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Cancer cells are constantly developing in our bodies. Luckily, our immune systems routinely kill them off. Similarly, our minds always harbor pockets of crazy-making misconceptions and faulty imprints. They usually don't rise up and render us insane thanks to the psychic versions of our immune systems.

How can you stay strong in your ability to fight off sickness and madness? You know the drill: Eat healthy food, sleep well, get physical exercise, minimize stress, give and receive love. But as an aspiring pronoiac, you have at your disposal other actions that can provide powerful boosts to your immune system. Here are examples:

Scheme to put yourself in the path of beautiful landscapes, buildings, art, and creatures.

Exercise your imagination regularly. Get in the habit of feeding your mind's eye images that fill you with wonder and vitality.

Eliminate uhs, you knows, I means, and other junk words from your speech. Avoid saying things you don't really mean and haven't thought out. Stop yourself when tempted to make scornful assertions about people.

Every night before you fall asleep, review the day's activities in your mind's eye. As if watching a movie about yourself, try to be calmly objective as you observe your memories from the previous 16 hours. Be especially alert for moments when you strayed from your purpose and didn't live up to your highest standards.

With a companion, sit in front of a turned-off TV as you make up a pronoiac story that features tricky benevolence, scintillating harmony, and amusing redemption. Speak this tale aloud or write it down.

Take on an additional job title, beautifier. Put it on your business card and do something every day to cultivate your skill. If you're a people person, bring grace and intrigue into your conversations; ask unexpected questions that provoke original thoughts. If you're an artist, leave samples of your finest work in public places. If you're a psychologist or sociologist, point out the institutions and relationships that are working really well. Whatever you do best, be alert for how you can refine it and offer it up to those who'll benefit from it.

If you're going through a phase when you feel you have nothing especially beautiful to offer, or if you think it would be self-indulgent to inject your own aesthetic into shared environments, turn for help to great artists and thinkers. Sneak O'Keeffe or Chagall prints onto unadorned walls in public places, for instance. Memorize poems by Rilke and Hafiz, and slip them into your conversations when appropriate. Program your cell phone so that its ring is Vivaldi's Stabat Mater in C Minor. Scrawl passages from Annie Dillard's Teaching a Stone to Talk on the walls of public lavatories.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

© Rob Brezsny 1995-2024