Big opportunities are coming up for you. Even if you cash in on them, though, they aren't likely to make an immediate practical impact. They are subtle and deep, these prospects. They have the potential of catalyzing monumental shifts in your long-term unfolding, but will take a while to transform your day-to-day rhythm. So what are these openings? Here are my guesses: 1. You could root out a bad seed that got embedded in your subconscious mind before you knew any better. 2. You could reinterpret the meaning of certain turning points in your past, thereby revising the flow of your life story. 3. You could forgive yourself for an old sin you thought you'd never let go of. 4. You could receive a friendly shock that will diminish some sadness you've carried for a long time.

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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With luck and persistence, you will be able to claim the rewards promised you at the beginning of time -- not just any old beauty, wisdom, goodness, love, freedom, and justice, but rather exhilarating beauty that incites you to be true to yourself; crazy wisdom that immunizes you against the temptation to believe your ideals are ultimate truths; outrageous goodness that inspires you to experiment with boisterous empathy; generous freedom that keeps you alert for opportunities to share your wealth; insurrectionary love that endlessly transforms you; and a lust for justice that's leavened with a knack for comedy, keeping you honest as you work humbly to liberate everyone in the world from ignorance and suffering.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

This would be a good time to get introspective and meditative about your urge to merge . . . to think objectively about the way you approach togetherness . . . to be honest with yourself about what strengths and weaknesses you bring to the art of collaboration. The most important question you can ask yourself during this inventory is this: "How do I personally contribute, either knowingly or unconsciously, to the problems I experience in relationships." Here's another query you might consider: "How hard am I willing to work to create the kinds of intimacy and alliances I say I want?"

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Six miles from Maui is a Hawaiian island that tourists never visit --Kaho'olawe. The U.S. Navy seized it in 1941 and used it as a target range for decades. After years of protests by Native Hawaiians, the Navy finally stopped bombing and began a clean-up campaign. In November, 2003, it formally turned control of the island over to the rightful owners.

"You can get a feel on Kaho'olawe of what it was like to live on Hawaii at the time of our ancestors," says Native Hawaiian Davianna McGregor. "We can practice our traditions there without it being a tourist attraction. It's one place we can go to be in communion with our natural life forces."
Each of us has a personal version of Kaho'olawe: a part of our psyche that has been stolen or colonized by hostile forces. To grow bolder in exploring pronoia, you'll need to take back yours.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Dear Rob: I seem to be marooned in an interesting limbo. The sights and sounds are not exactly pretty, but they keep me perversely entertained. I'm sampling tastes that are more sour than sweet, thinking that sooner or later the sweetness will start to prevail -- but it never does. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a trance, unable to do what's best for me. Can you offer any help? Like maybe give me a password that would break me out of the trance? -Meandering Gemini." Dear Meandering: This is one of those rare times when you have cosmic permission to favor what's calming and reassuring rather than what's amusing and stimulating. Your password is sanctuary.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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I'm allergic to dogma. I thrive on riddles. Any idea I believe, I reserve the right to disbelieve as well. But more than any other vision I've ever tested, pronoia describes the way the world actually is. It's wetter than water, stronger than death, and truer than the news. It smells like cedar smoke in the autumn rain, and if you close your eyes right now, you can feel it shimmering like the aurora borealis in your organs and muscles. Its song is your blood's song.

Some people argue that life is strife and suffering is normal. Others swear we're born sinful and only heaven can provide us with the peace that passes understanding. But pronoia says that being alive on this rough green and brown planet is the highest honor and privilege. It's an invitation to work wonders and perform miracles that aren't possible in any nirvana, promised land, or afterlife.

I'm not exaggerating or indulging in poetic metaphor when I tell you that we are already living in paradise. Visualize it if you dare. The sweet stuff that quenches all of our longing is not far away in some other time and place. It's right here and right now.

Poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew the truth: "Earth's crammed with heaven."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

On September 22, the San Francisco Giants played a baseball game against the San Diego Padres. In the fourth inning, Giants' third baseman Pablo Sandoval sprinted to the edge of the field, then hurled himself over a railing and into the crowd in order to snag a foul pop-up. The fact that he landed upside down but perfectly unhurt wasn't the most impressive aspect of his feat. Nor was his improbable ability to wield such precise concentration while invoking so much raw force. Even more amazing was the pink bubble that Sandoval blew with his chewing gum nanoseconds before he dived. It was a supremely playful and successful Zen moment. That's the spirit I hope you will bring to your efforts in the coming days.

Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Quoting geneticists, Guy Murchie says we're all family. You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.

Murchie also describes our kinship through an analysis of how deeply we share the air. With each breath, you take into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and--owing to the wind's ceaseless circulation--over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen molecules exhaled by every person alive, as well as by everyone who ever lived. Right now you may be carrying atoms that were once inside the lungs of Malcolm X, Christopher Columbus, Joan of Arc, and Cleopatra.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Your unconscious mind will be more accessible than usual in the coming weeks. It will reveal its agendas more clearly and play more of an active role in your life. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It will depend on how open-minded you are toward the surprises your secret self will reveal. If you try to ignore or repress its eruptions, they'll probably wreak chaos. If, on the other hand, you treat this other part of you as an unpredictable but generous ally, you may be able to work out a collaboration that serves you both.

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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More and more creative people find they do their best work when they're feeling healthy and secure. We know writers who no longer need to be drunk or in agony in order to shed the numbness of their daily routine and tap into the full powers of their imagination. We have filmmaker friends whose best work flows not from the depths of alienated self-doubt but rather from the heights of well-earned bliss. Singer-songwriter P.J. Harvey is the patron saint of this new breed. "When I'm contented, I'm more open to receiving a lot of inspiration," she has testified. "I'm most creative when I feel safe and happy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Urbandictionary.com defines "Skymall solution" as "an absurdly single-purposed tool or solution that solves a problem you don't actually have." The term is derived from the famous Skymall catalog, which sells unusual specialty products. According to my analysis of the current astrological omens, you should be wary of any attraction you might have to Skymall solutions. Do you really need a King Tut tissue box cover or an ice cube tray that makes ice in the shape of dachshunds or a stencil set for putting messages on your bundt cake? I doubt it. Nor do you need their metaphorical equivalents.

Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

"What do you want more than anything else?" the sage asked.

"To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself," the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

"What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?" the sage inquired.

"Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air," gasped the student.

"Excellent," beamed the sage. "As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve your goal."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Right before I woke up this morning, I had a dream that one of my teeth fell out. As I lay there groggily in bed, my mind searched for its meaning. "What does losing a tooth symbolize?" I asked myself. "What is its psychological meaning?" I promised myself that when I got up, I would google that question. But my rumination was interrupted by a dull ache in the back of my mouth, and it was only then that I remembered: Yesterday, in actual waking life, I had a real tooth yanked out by a real dentist. The moral of the story, Libra: Be wary of making up elaborate stories and mythic assumptions about events that have simple, mundane explanations.

You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Go to the ugliest or most forlorn place you know--a drugstore parking lot, the front porch of a crack house, a toxic waste dump, or the place that symbolizes your secret shame--and build a shrine devoted to beauty, truth, and love.

Here are some suggestions about what to put in your shrine: a silk scarf; a smooth rock on which you've inscribed a haiku or joke with a felt-tip pen; coconut cookies or ginger candy; pumpkin seeds and an origami crane; a green kite shaped like a dragon; a music CD you love; a photo of your hero; a votive candle carved with your word of power; a rubber ducky; a bouquet of fresh beets; a print of Van Gogh's "Starry Night."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

This is an excellent time to explore the frontiers of wise foolishness. I'm hoping you will take full advantage of learning opportunities that might require you to shed your excess dignity and acknowledge how much you don't know. Are you brave enough to disavow cynical thoughts and jaded attitudes that muffle your lust for life? Are you smart enough to understand how healthy it would be to go out and play like an innocent wild child? Make yourself available for delightful surprises.

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and their operators.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Zombies used to be terrifying. But then they became a featured motif in pop culture, often in humorous contexts, and now there's a growing acceptance and even affection for them. Here's the view of Max Brooks, author of The Zombie Survival Guide: "Eventually rock and roll morphs from Sid Vicious to the Jonas Brothers. Same thing with vampires: We went from Dracula to Twilight to make them peachy and G-rated. I guarantee you someone is working on a way to take the fear out of zombies and market them to children." Your assignment, Sagittarius, is to do to your personal fears what the entertainment industry has done to zombies: Turn them into amusing caricatures that don't trouble you so much. For example, visualize an adversary singing a duet with Justin Bieber.

Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Contrary to what some translations of the Bible say, it won't be the meek who shall inherit the earth. On the other hand, the arrogant power mongers won't collect the legacy either. Neither the indecisive wimps nor the acquisitive bullies will contribute much to creating the New World.

Who, then, will inherit the earth? What kind of human beings are best-equipped to thrive in the evolving game of life? We say it will be the well-disciplined pleasure-seekers who are in vigorous dialogue with their own dark sides, who balance the masculine and feminine aspects of their natures, and who master the fine arts of working at their play and playing at their work.

Assume our definition has some validity for you. What would you have to do to become more like one of the inheritors of the earth?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"You must learn from the mistakes of others," said humorist Sam Levenson. "You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself." That's excellent advice for you right now, Capricorn. In order to glean the teachings you need most, you won't have to bumble through a single wrong turn or bad decision yourself. There will be plenty of blundering role models who will be providing you with the precise inspiration you need. Study them carefully.

How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Dear Beauty and Truth Lab: Can you tell me why my trivial prayers are often answered (please don't let the light turn red, please let there be enough milk for one cup of coffee, etc.), but never my big life-changing prayers (please send me a soul mate, please help me make money at what I love to do)? Are God's priorities screwed up, or is it me? - Dumb Luck Collector

Dear DLC: There's an old fairy tale in which two old folks are given three wishes by a magic dwarf, but impulsively waste them on the first silly whims that pop into their heads. I'll tell you what I would have told them: Proceed on the assumption that only a few of your fervent prayers will be granted. Don't use them up on pleas for convenience when you're tired, cranky, or desperate. A Tibetan proverb says, "The person who gets stuck on petty happiness will not attain great happiness."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Every November, thousands of writers participate in National Novel Writing Month. They pledge to compose at least 50,000 words of a new novel in that 30-day period. In accordance with the astrological omens, Aquarius, I propose that you commit yourself to a comparable project in your own field. Is there a potential masterpiece on which you could get a substantial amount of work done? Is there a major transformation you've long wanted to undertake but have always had some excuse to avoid? I predict that you will attract unexpected help and luck if you summon the willpower to focus on that task.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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DEFINITION: Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It's the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It's a mode of retraining your senses and intellect so you're able to perceive that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

HYPOTHESES: Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is our birthright. Receptivity is a superpower.

PROCEDURE: Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Join the conspiracy to shower all of creation with blessings.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Don't believe the climate is changing? Go ask the birds what they think. Sixty percent of all the feathered species in North America have moved north in the past 46 years. Scientists are pretty sure their migration is a response to the warming trend that's afoot. I like the idea of tuning in to how animals behave in order to get accurate information about the state of the world. Would you consider doing more of that, Pisces? According to my astrological analysis, the coming months will be a time when you can learn a lot from non-human intelligences.

How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"The secret of life," said sculptor Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, "is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is--it must be something you cannot possibly do." What is that task for you?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.