Life tests you all the time. Sometimes its prods and queries are hard and weird; they come at you with non-stop intensity. On other occasions the riddles and lessons are pretty fun and friendly, and provide you with lots of slack to figure them out. In all cases, life's tests offer you the chance to grow smarter, both in your head and heart. They challenge you to stretch your capacities and invite you to reduce your suffering. Right now, oddly enough, you have some choice in what kinds of tests you'd prefer. Just keep in mind that the more interesting they are, the bigger the rewards are likely to be.

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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You can drink a glass of water. You can spread butter on a slice of toast. You can wash your hair and prune your plants and draw infinity signs on a piece of paper. Your hands work wonderfully well! Their intricate force and sustained grace are amply supported by your heart, which circulates your blood all the way out to replenish the energy of the muscles and nerves in your fingers and palms and wrists. After your blood has delivered its blessings, it finds its way back to your heart to be refreshed. This masterful mystery repeats itself over and over again without you ever having to think about it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

According to the religion of ancient Egypt, Tefnut is the goddess of moisture. In the natural world, she rules rain, dew, mist, humidity, and condensation. For humans, she is the source of tears, spit, sweat, phlegm, and the wetness produced by sex. In accordance with the astrological omens, I nominate her to be your tutelary spirit in the coming week. I suspect you will thrive by cultivating a fluidic sensibility. You will learn exactly what you need to learn by paying special attention to everything that exudes and spills and flows.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Your imagination may be the best gift you've been given. It's the source of your creative power. If there's a particular experience or object you want to bring into your life, the first thing you've got to do is visualize it. The practical actions you take to manifest your dreams always refer back to the pictures in your mind's eye. And so every goal you fulfill, every quest you carry out, begins as an inner vision. Your imagination is the engine of your destiny. It's the catalyst with which you design your future. Do you know where it comes from? Do you have any idea how powerful it is?
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I'm guessing that you don't know the name of the person who sent the first email. It was Ray Tomlinson, and he did it in 1971. You're probably also unaware that he originated the use of the @ symbol as a key part of email addresses. Now I'd like to address your own inner Ray Tomlinson, Gemini: the part of you that has done valuable work hardly anyone knows about; the part of you that has created good stuff without getting much credit or appreciation. I celebrate that unsung hero, and I hope you will make a special effort to do the same in the coming week.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years.

May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning and start dancing while you're still half-­asleep.

May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses.

May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple.

May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds and one extrasolar planet.

May you put a bumper sticker on your car or bike that says, "My god can kick your god's ass!"

If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate."

May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans.

May you actually kiss the earth now and then.

May you find many good excuses to say, as physicist Niels Bohr once did, "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Busy editor Katie Hintz-Zambrano was asked in an interview what she does when she's not working at her demanding job. She said she likes to gets together with her "article club," which is like a book club, except it's for people who don't have time to read anything longer than articles. I would approve of you seeking out short-cut pleasures like that in the next few weeks, Cancerian. It's one of those phases in your astrological cycle when you have a poetic license to skip a few steps, avoid some of the boring details, and take leaps of faith that allow you to bypass complicated hassles.

Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Have you ever been loved? I bet you have been loved so much and so deeply that you have become blasé about the enormity of the grace it confers. So let me remind you: To be loved is a privilege and prize equivalent to being born. If you're smart, you pause regularly to bask in the astonishing knowledge that there are many people out there who care for you and want you to thrive and hold you in their thoughts with fondness.

Animals, too: You have been the recipient of their boundless affection. The spirits of allies who've left this world continue to send their tender regards, as well. Do you "believe" in angels and other divine beings? Whether or not you do, I can assure you that there are hordes of them beaming their uncanny consecrations your way. You are awash in torrents of love.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Imagine you're living in 1880. You're done with work for the day, and are at home enjoying some alone-time leisure activities. What might those be? By the light of your oil lamp, you could read a book, sing songs, compose a letter with pen and paper, or write in your diary. Now transfer your imaginative attention to your actual living space in 2012. It might have a smart phone, tablet, laptop, TV, DVD player, and game console. You've got access to thousands of videos, movies, songs, social media, websites, and networked games. Aren't you glad you live today instead of 1880? On the other hand, having so many choices can result in you wasting a lot of time with stimuli that don't fully engage you. Make this the week you see what it's like to use your leisure time for only the highest-quality, most interesting and worthwhile stuff.

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Imagine you're with a team of explorers in Antarctica. You're climbing the 2,000-foot granite spire called Rakekniven that thrusts up out of the ice in Queen Maud Land. The temperature is 10 degrees below zero. There's not a plant or animal in sight. The blinding white emptiness of the wasteland beneath you fills you with desolate reverence, alienated awe, and soaring gratitude. You are far from everything that normally gives you comfort.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I'll bet that a-ha! experiences will arrive at a faster rate than you've seen in a long time. Breakthroughs and brainstorms will be your specialty. Surprises and serendipitous adventures should be your delight. The only factor that might possibly obstruct the flow would be if you clung too tightly to your expectations or believed too fiercely in your old theories about how the world works. I've got an idea about how to ensure the best possible outcome. Several times every day, say something like the following: "I love to get my curiosity spiked, my hair mussed, my awe struck, my goose bumps roused, my dogmas exploded, and my mind blown."

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Breathe more like a wild boar and less like a parakeet. Act more like an unfathomable game with no time limit and less like a puzzle with just a few last pieces missing. Shimmer more like the aurora borealis in the early morning sky and less like a furnace heating a mansion. See more like a panther sees and less like your first teacher. Write more fat messages in the mist on the glass, and speak less about the skinny facts you know by heart. Eat more magic cookies and less brain candy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Disappointments should be cremated, not embalmed," said the aphorist Henry S. Haskins. That's good advice for you right now, Libra. It's an auspicious moment for you to set fire to your defeats, letdowns, and discouragements -- and let them burn into tiny piles of ashes. I mean all of them, stretching back for years, not simply the recent ones. There's no need to treat them like precious treasures you have an obligation to lug with you into the future. The time is right for you to deepen your mastery of the art of liberation.

I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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Try this meditation: Imagine that you are the wood and the fire that consumes the wood.

First, focus your awareness on the part of you that is the wood. You may tremble or gasp, feeling the jolt of your solidity disintegrating, your form changing. As you shift your attention to the part of you that is the fire, you may exult in the wild joy of power and liberation.

It may be tempting to favor the fire over the wood, to love the burning more than the being burned. But if you'd like to understand pronoia in its fullness, you've got to appreciate them equally. Can you imagine yourself being the fire and wood simultaneously? Is it possible for you to experience the deep pleasure of their collaboration?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Columnist Sydney J. Harris told the following story. "I walked with a friend to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the owner politely. The owner, however, did not even acknowledge it. 'A sullen fellow, isn’t he?' I commented as we walked away. 'Oh, he’s that way every night,' shrugged my friend. 'Then why do you continue being so polite to him?' I asked. And my friend replied, 'Why should I let him determine how I’m going to act?'" I hope you'll adopt that approach in the coming week, Scorpio. Be your best self even if no one appreciates it or responds. Astrologically speaking, this is prime time to anchor yourself in your highest integrity.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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One of life's bounties is its changeableness, which ensures that boredom will never last very long. You may underestimate the intensity of your longing for continual transformation, but the universe doesn't. That's why it provides you with the boundless entertainment of your ever-shifting story. That's why it is always revising the challenges it sends your way, providing your curious soul with a rich variety of unpredictable teachings.

Neuroscientists have turned up evidence that suggests you love this aspect of the universe's behavior. They say that you are literally addicted to learning. At the moment when you grasp a lesson you've been grappling with, your brain experiences a rush of a natural opium-like chemical, boosting your pleasure levels. You crave this experience. You thrive on it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In the 1960 Olympics at Rome, Ethiopian runner Abebe Bikila was barefoot as he won a gold medal in the marathon race. Four years later, at the summer games in Tokyo, he won a gold medal again, this time while wearing shoes. I'm guessing this theme might apply to you and your life in the coming weeks. You have the potential to score another victory in a situation where you have triumphed in the past. And I think it's even more likely to happen if you vary some fundamental detail, as Bikila did.

Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The phrase "new roses" can serve as an antidote to neurosis -- as a kind of magical spell. You might invoke it when you're in danger of getting undermined by either your own neurosis or someone else's.

If you notice, for instance, that your subconscious mind is spiraling down into a sour fantasy stirred up by one of your habitual fears, you could mutter a cheerful round of "new roses, new roses, new roses."

If your allies slip into the same compulsive behavior that they tend to get stuck in whenever stress overflows, you could chant "new roses, new roses, new roses" in a tuneful, affectionate tone.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Wikipedia has extensive lists of the biggest unsolved problems in medicine, computer science, philosophy, and nine other fields. Each article treats those riddles with utmost respect and interest, regarding them not as subjects to be avoided but rather embraced. I love this perspective, and urge you to apply it to your own life. This would be an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to draw up a master list of your biggest unsolved problems. Have fun. Activate your wild mind. Make it into a game. I bet that doing so will attract a flood of useful information that'll help you get closer to solving those problems. (Here's Wikipedia's big list.)

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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Thousands of things go right for you every day, beginning the moment you wake up. Through some magic you don't fully understand, you're still breathing and your heart is beating, even though you've been unconscious for many hours. The air is a mix of gases that's just right for your body's needs, as it was before you fell asleep.

You can see! Light of many colors floods into your eyes, registered by nerves that took God or evolution or some process millions of years to perfect. The interesting gift of these vivid hues is made possible by an unimaginably immense globe of fire, the sun, which continually detonates nuclear reactions in order to convert its own body into light and heat and energy for your personal use.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

There's a certain lesson in love that you have been studying and studying and studying -- and yet have never quite mastered. Several different teachers have tried with only partial success to provide you with insights that would allow you to graduate to the next level of romantic understanding. That's the bad news, Aquarius. The good news is that all this could change in the coming months. I foresee a breakthrough in your relationship with intimacy. I predict benevolent jolts and healing shocks that will allow you to learn at least some of the open-hearted truths that have eluded you all this time.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Dear Beauty and Truth Lab: I was wondering if you had any information about Beyonders, people who were born under no star and who are therefore not ruled by the stars. - Wannabe Beyonder

Dear Wannabe: It's impossible to be born under no star. However, we all go through periods when we're relatively free from the authority of the stars we were born under and therefore immune from cosmic compulsion. During these times, we're less susceptible to the whims of fate and the demands of the past and the inertia of karma. Our willpower has more breathing room, and we're more likely to fulfill Einstein's dictum, "Imagination is more important than knowledge.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

A mother wrote to the "Car Talk" columnists to ask whether it's possible to cook food on a car engine. She wanted to be able to bring her teenage son piping hot burritos when she picked him up from school. The experts replied that yes, this is a fine idea. They said there's even a book about how to do it, Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine! I suggest you engage in this kind of creative thinking during the coming week, Pisces. Consider innovations that might seem a bit eccentric. Imagine how you might use familiar things in unexpected ways. Expand your sense of how to coordinate two seemingly unrelated activities.

To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Of the many things that have gone right for you during your time on Earth, the most crucial was your birth. As you crossed over the threshold, trading the warm dark sanctuary for the bright noisy enigma, you didn't die! It was a difficult act of high magic that involved many people who worked very hard in your behalf. The skills they provided in helping you navigate your rite of passage were in turn made possible by previous generations of threshold-tenders who bequeathed their expertise.

Months before that initiation, a more secret miracle bloomed: Your life began as a single cell, spawned by the explosive fusion of two highly specialized bundles of chromosomes. How could that tiny package of raw material have possibly grown a brain and liver and heart and stomach over a period of a few months? What inscrutable genius guided and oversaw the emergence of your fully formed infant body, that virtuoso creation, from the slimmest of clues?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.