This week you may learn the real reason the tortoise beat the hare, why two of the three blind mice weren't really blind, and the shocking truth about the relationship between Cinderella's fairy godmother and the handsome prince. Myths will be mutating, Aries. Nursery rhymes will scramble and fairy tales will fracture. Thor, the god of thunder, may make a tempting offer to Snow White. The cow's jump over the moon could turn out to have been faked by the CIA. An ugly duckling will lay an egg that Chicken Little claims is irrefutable proof the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse is imminent. Sounds like a rowdy good time for all!

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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To achieve what the Zen Buddhists call "beginner's mind," you dispense with all preconceptions and enter each situation as if seeing it for the first time. "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities," wrote Shunryu Suzuki in his book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, "but in the expert's there are few."

As much as I love beginner's mind, though, I advocate an additional discipline: cultivating a beginner's heart. That means approaching every encounter imbued with a freshly invoked wave of love that is as pure as if you're feeling it for the first time.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Roots and wings. But let the wings grow roots and the roots fly." That was written by Spanish poet Juan Ramón Jiménez in his book Diary of a Newylwed Poet, and now I'm passing it on to you. It will serve as a keynote for the turning point you're about to navigate. In the coming weeks, you'll generate good fortune by exposing your dark mysterious depths to the big bright sky; you'll be wise to bring your soaring dreams down to earth for a pit stop. The highs need the influence of the lows, Taurus; the underneath will benefit from feeling the love of what's up above. There's one further nuance to be aware of, too: I think you will find it extra interesting to interweave your past with your future. So give your rich traditions a taste of the stories that are as-yet unwritten.

Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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To be the best pronoiac explorer you can be, I suggest you adopt an outlook that combines the rigorous objectivity of a scientist, the "beginner's mind" of Zen Buddhism, the "beginner's heart" of pronoia, and the compassionate friendliness of the Dalai Lama. Blend a scrupulously dispassionate curiosity with a skepticism driven by expansiveness, not spleen.

To pull this off, you'll have to be willing to regularly suspend your brilliant theories about the way the world works. Accept with good humor the possibility that what you've learned in the past may not be a reliable guide to understanding the fresh phenomenon that's right in front of you. Be suspicious of your biases, even the rational and benevolent ones. Open your heart as you strip away the interpretations that your emotions might be inclined to impose.

"Before we can receive the unbiased truth about anything," wrote my teacher Ann Davies, "we have to be ready to ignore what we would like to be true."

At the same time, don't turn into a hard-ass, poker-faced robot. Keep your feelings moist and receptive. Remember your natural affection for all of creation. Enjoy the power of tender sympathy as it drives you to probe for the unimaginable revelations of every new moment. "Before we can receive the entire truth about anything," said Ann Davies, "we have to love it."
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Is it possible you were a spider in a previous life? If so, please call on the abilities you developed back then. You need to create an extra big, super-fine web, metaphorically speaking, so that you can capture all the raw materials you will be needing in the coming weeks and months. If you're not sure whether you are the reincarnation of a spider, then simply imagine you were. Stimulate daydreams in which you visualize yourself as a mover and shaker who's skilled at snagging the resources and help you require.

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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Receptivity is not a passive state. Nor is it a blank emptiness, waiting around for whatever happens to come along. In urging you to cultivate receptivity, I don't mean you should become a lazy do-nothing bereft of goals, reacting blindly to whatever life throws in front of you.

Receptivity is a robust readiness to be surprised and moved, a vigorous intention to be awake to everything you can't control. When you're receptive in the pronoiac style, you have strong ideas and a powerful will and an eagerness to disseminate your unique blessings, but you're also animated by the humble certainty that you have a lot to learn.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

British writer Kenneth Tynan asked a movie director about how he'd film an advancing army. Did it matter whether the action went from right to left across the frame or left to right? "Of course!" said the director. "To the Western eye, easy or successful movement is left to right, difficult or failed movement is right to left." The director showed Tynan an illustrated book as evidence. On one page, a canoe shooting the rapids was going from left to right, while a man climbing a mountain was headed from right to left. Use this information to your benefit, Cancerian. Every day for the next two weeks, visualize yourself moving from left to right as you fulfill a dream you want to accomplish.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Most people associate innocence with naivete. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life.

But the Beauty and Truth Lab recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to keep clearing one's imagination of all preconceptions.

"Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola Estés in Women Who Run with the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Hanadi Zakaria al-Hindi is the first Saudi Arabian woman to be licensed to fly a plane. But there's an absurd law in her country that prohibits women from driving cars, so she needs a man to give her a lift to the airport. Is there any situation in your own life that resembles hers, Leo? Like maybe you've advanced to a higher level without getting certified on a lower level? Or maybe you've got permission and power to operate in a sphere that's meaningful to you even though you skipped a step along the way? Now would be a good time to think about whether you should do anything about the discrepancy, and if so, how to do it.

To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"Objection, evasion, joyous distrust, and love of irony are signs of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology." So proclaimed Friedrich Nietzsche in Beyond Good and Evil. Note well that he used the adjective "joyous" to describe distrust, not "cynical" or "grumbling" or "sour." The key to remaining vital and strong while questioning every so-called absolute is to cultivate a cheerful, buoyant mood as you do it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Recent scientific studies have confirmed what Native American folklore reports: Badgers and coyotes sometimes cooperate with each other as they search for food. The coyotes are better at stalking prey above ground, and the badgers take over if the hunted animal slips underground. They share the spoils. I suggest you draw inspiration from their example, Virgo. Is there a person you know who's skilled at a task you have trouble with and who could benefit from something you're good at? It's prime time to consider forming symbiotic relationships or seeking out unusual partnerships that play to both parties' strengths.

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Here are three of our deepest spiritual aspirations, which we invite you to steal for your own use: 1. to develop the capacity to thrive in the midst of raging contradictions; 2. to be discerning as we protect ourselves from people's flaws while at the same time being generous as we celebrate their beauty; 3. to refrain from dividing the world into two groups, those who help and agree with us and those who don't.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

How did the Vikings navigate their ships through rough northern seas on cloudy and foggy days? Medieval texts speak of the mysterious "sunstone," a "Viking compass" used to detect the hidden sun. Modern theories suggest that this technology may have been Iceland spar, a mineral that polarizes light, making it useful in plotting a course under overcast skies. Do you have anything like that, Libra? A navigational aid that guides your decisions when the sun's not out, metaphorically speaking? Now would be an excellent time to enhance your connection with whatever it is that can provide such power.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Visualize yourself being able to recognize the raw truth about the people you care about. Imagine that you can see how they already embody the beauty their souls' codes have promised as well as how they still fall short of embodying that beauty.

Picture yourself being able to make them feel appreciated even as you inspire them to risk changes that will activate more of their souls' codes.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

If you set up two mirrors in just the right way, you can get a clear look at the back of your head. You're able to see what your body looks like from behind. I suggest you try that exercise sometime soon. It will encourage your subconscious mind to help you discover what has been missing from your self-knowledge. As a result, you may be drawn to experiences that reveal things about yourself you've been resistant to seeing. You could be shown secrets about buried feelings and wishes that you've been hiding from yourself. Best of all, you may get intuitions about your soul's code that you haven't been ready to understand until now.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Plant orchids on a strip-mined hill.

Imagine you have a guardian angel who looks like Malcolm X.

Teach an animal to dance.

Hire a puppet troupe to reenact your life story using marionettes in Renaissance costumes.

Make believe you are the ocean king or thunder queen.

Improvise a fresh bedtime story for someone you love.

Put on an inflatable sumo wrestler costume and play a bagpipe as badly as possible.

Watch TV with your third eye.

Sip holy water blessed by a smart teenage girl.

Bear in mind that you are the Chosen One, and so is everyone else.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

According to my Sagittarius friend Jonathan Zap, the Greek playwright Aristophanes had an ambivalent attitude about divine blessings. He said that no great gift enters the human sphere without a curse attached to it. I'm sure you know this lesson well. One of last year's big gifts has revealed its downside in ways that may have been confusing or deflating. But now here comes an unexpected plot twist, allowing you to add a corollary to Aristophanes' formulation. Soon you will find a second blessing that was hidden within the curse in embryonic form. You'll be able to tease it out, ripen it, and add it to the bounty of the original gift.

Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The dangers of excessive politeness are perfectly exemplified in the medieval legend of Parzival, Arthur's purest knight. His quest for the Holy Grail leads him to a castle where he is welcomed by a wounded lord. At dinner, a mysterious bowl captivates Parzival's attention. He's dying to know more about it, but he holds his tongue. His training as a knight has taught him that it's uncourteous to express too much curiosity.

Tragically, he doesn't realize that he has arrived at the very place where his quest could be satisfied. The wounded lord is actually the Fisher King, the marvelous bowl is the Grail, and he is being presented with a magical test. The test consists of a simple task: to ask about the bowl. Because Parzival fails to do so, the king does not reveal the secret and does not give him the Grail.

The next morning, Parzival wakes up to find the castle empty, and he leaves having missed the very opportunity he wanted most.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Writing in the science magazine Discover, Corey S. Powell says, "There's an old joke: If you tell someone the universe is expanding, he'll believe you. If you tell him there's wet paint on the park bench, he'll want to touch it to make sure." In accordance with the astrological omens, Capricorn, I invite you to rebel against this theory. I think it's quite important for you to demand as much proof for big, faraway claims as for those that are close at hand. Don't trust anyone's assertions just because they sound lofty or elegant. Put them to the test.

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"I've been practicing radical authenticity lately," my friend Brandon told me. "I'm revealing the blunt truth about unmentionable subjects to everyone I know. It's been pretty hellish -- no one likes having the social masks stripped away -- but it's been ultimately rewarding."

"I admire your boldness in naming the currents flowing beneath the surface," I replied, "but I'm curious as to why you imply they're all negative. To practice radical authenticity, shouldn't you also express the raw truth about what's right, good, and beautiful? Shouldn't you unleash the praise and gratitude that normally go unspoken?"
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

It's an excellent time to better appreciate your #@%(!)* vexations and botherations. In fact, let's go ahead and make this Honor Your #@%(!)* Irritations and Annoyances Week. To properly observe this holiday, study the people and things that irk you so you can extract from them all the blessings and teachings they may provide. Are you too tolerant of an annoying situation that you need to pay closer attention to? Is it time to reclaim the power you've been losing because of an exasperating energy-drain? Does some jerk remind you of a quality you don't like in yourself? Is there a valuable clue or two to be gleaned from a passive-aggressive provocateur?

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In Tibetan Buddhism's "Four Dignities of the Warrior's Path," courage and ferocity are absent. In fact, the qualities regarded as essential for being a warrior have nothing in common with the training regimens of Marines or football players or lobbyists.

The first dignity is often translated in English as meekness, but that word doesn't convey its full meaning. "Relaxed confidence" is a more precise formulation -- a humble feeling of being at home in one's body.

Perkiness, or irrepressible joy, is the second dignity. To develop it, a warrior cultivates the habit of seeing the best in everything and works diligently to avoid the self-indulgence of cynicism.

The third is outrageousness. The warrior who embodies this dignity loves to experiment, is not addicted to strategies that have been successful in the past, and has a passionate objectivity that's free of the irrelevant emotions of hope and fear.

The fourth dignity is inscrutability, or a skill at evading the pigeonholes and simplistic definitions that might limit the warrior's inventiveness while fighting for his or her moral vision.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Seahorses have an unusual approach to reproduction. It's the male of the species that cares for the eggs as they gestate. He carries them in a "brood pouch" on his front side. Of course it's the female who creates the eggs in the first place. After analyzing the astrological factors coming to bear on your destiny, Pisces, I suspect you will benefit from having a seahorse-like quality in the coming weeks. Whatever gender you are, your archetypal masculine qualities should play an especially strong role as you nurture a project that's in its early developmental phases.

I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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Here's one of the Beauty and Truth Laboratory's favorite rules for evaluating the information that comes our way: Assume that it's a blend of truth and falsehood and every shade of half-truth in between. That applies equally to stories in The New York Times and to the raving spiels of the homeless Gulf War vet who hangs out at the local post office.

While I suspect that the Times has a much higher proportion of accurate data, I can never be sure what distortions are embedded in its reports. Its unconscious devotion to pop nihilism means that it routinely ignores vast realms of human experience. And there are odd days when the homeless guy's rants spit out gems of poetic wisdom that give me the chills and change the way I understand the world.

Moral of the story: Useful messages may come from anywhere. I'm more likely to recognize them if I'm simultaneously curious and discriminating.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.