I invite you to identify all the things in your life that you really don't need any more: gadgets that have become outdated, clothes that no longer feel like you, once-exciting music and books and art works that no longer mean what they once did. Don't stop there. Pinpoint the people who have let you down, the places that lower your vitality, and the activities that have become boring or artificial. Finally, Aries, figure out the traditions that no longer move you, the behavior patterns that no longer serve you, and the compulsive thoughts that have a freaky life of their own. Got all that? Dump at least some of them.

I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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In her role as DJ Debi Newberry in the film Grosse Pointe Blank, Minnie Driver defines the term shakabuku as a swift spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever. That's the kind of jolt you're more likely to get if you've been avoiding the entreaties of your shadow.

But if you send your shadow flowers on special occasions, or periodically give it license to blubber its horrible secrets while sobbing on your lap, it might be more inclined to deliver a whoopibuku, which is a soft spiritual stomp on the toes that inspires you to make a course correction.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

If you're a woman, you could go to the perfume section of the department store and buy fragrances that would cause you to smell like Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Eva Longoria, or Paris Hilton. If you're a man, an hour from now you could be beaming an aroma that makes you resemble a celebrity like Antonio Banderas, Usher, David Beckham, or Keith Urban. You could even mix and match, wearing the Eva Longoria scent on your manly body or Usher on your female form. But I don't recommend that you do any of the above. More than ever before you need to be yourself, your whole self, and nothing but yourself. Trying to act like or be like anyone else should be a taboo of the first degree.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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It's a great privilege to live in a free country. You're fortunate if you have the opportunity to pursue your dreams without having to ward off government interference or corporate brainwashing or religious fanaticism.

But that's only partly useful if you have not yet won the most important struggle for liberation, which is the freedom from your own unconscious obsessions and conditioned responses. Becoming an independent agent who's not an unwitting slave to his or her shadow is one of the most heroic feats a human being can accomplish.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"I try to take one day at a time," says Ashleigh Brilliant, "but sometimes several days attack me all at once." I think you may soon be able to say words to that effect, Gemini -- and that's a good thing. Life will seem more concentrated and meaningful than usual. Events will flow faster and your awareness will be extra intense. As a result, you should have exceptional power to unleash transformations that could create ripples lasting for months. Would you like each day to be the equivalent of nine days? Or would four be enough for you?

Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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So for example, when cabbages are planted in the midst of clover, flies lay eggs on only seven percent of them, compared to a 36 percent infestation rate on cabbages that are grown in bare soil with no clover nearby.

This could be a useful metaphor in working with your own versions of impurities and interlopers. Make sure there are always a few chickweed or henbit weeds surrounding your ripening tomatoes.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

When actor Ashton Kutcher is working on the set of his TV show Two and a Half Men, he enjoys spacious digs. His trailer is two stories high and has two bathrooms as well as a full kitchen. Seven 60-inch TVs are available for his viewing pleasure. As you embark on your journey to the far side of reality, Cancerian, it might be tempting for you to try to match that level of comfort. But what's more important than material luxury will be psychological and spiritual aids that help keep you attuned to your deepest understandings about life. Be sure you're well-stocked with influences that keep your imagination vital and upbeat. Favorite symbols? Uplifting books? Photos of mentors? Magic objects?

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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In the New Earth, it won't be your material wealth that will win you the most bragging points. Nor will it be the important people you know or the deals you've swung or the knowledge you've amassed or your mate's attractiveness.

What will bring you most prestige and praise in the civilization to come will be your success in transmuting the unripe, ignorant, and shameful aspects of your psyche into golden assets that fuel your power to give blessings to the world.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Veterans of war who've been wounded by shrapnel often find that years later, some of the metal fragments eventually migrate to the surface and pop out of their skin. The moral of the story: The body may take a long time to purify itself of toxins. The same is true about your psyche. It might not be able to easily and quickly get rid of the poisons it has absorbed, but you should never give up hoping it will find a way. Judging by the astrological omens, I think you are very close to such a climactic cleansing and catharsis, Leo.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Some religious traditions teach the doctrine, "Kill off your longings." In their view, attachment to desire is at the root of human suffering. But the religion of materialism takes the opposite tack, asserting that the meaning of life is to be found in indulging desires. Its creed is, "Feed your cravings like a French foie gras farmer cramming eight pounds of maize down a goose's gullet every day."

At the Beauty and Truth Lab, we walk a middle path. We believe there are both degrading desires that enslave you and sacred desires that liberate you. Do you harbor both kinds within yourself? Do you know which are which?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Distilled water is a poor conductor of electricity. For H2O to have electroconductivity, it must contain impurities in the form of dissolved salts. I see a timely lesson in this for you, Virgo. If you focus too hard on being utterly clean and clear, some of life's rather chaotic but fertile and invigorating energy may not be able to flow through you. That's why I suggest you experiment with being at least a little impure and imperfect. Don't just tolerate the messiness. Learn from it; thrive on it; even exult in it.

To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Like all of us, you have desires for things that you don't really need and aren't good for you. But you shouldn't disparage yourself for having them, nor should you conclude that every desire is tainted.

Rather, think of your misguided longings as the bumbling, amateur expressions of a faculty that will one day be far more expert. They're how you practice as you work toward the goal of becoming a master of desire. It may take a while, but eventually you will get the hang of wanting things that are really good for you, and good for everyone else, too.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are neither in a red-alert situation nor are you headed for one. A pink alert may be in effect, however. Thankfully, there's no danger or emergency in the works. Shouting and bolting and leaping won't be necessary. Rather, you may simply be called upon to come up with unexpected responses to unpredicted circumstances. Unscripted plot twists could prompt you to take actions you haven't rehearsed. It actually might be kind of fun as long as you play with the perspective Shakespeare articulated in As You Like It: "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Meditation teacher Jack Kornfield espouses an interesting method for dealing with negative and unwanted thoughts. Don't let them possess you, he says, and don't assume you have to act them out. On the other hand, don't struggle mightily to suppress them, either. Instead, try this: Bow to the offending idea. Acknowledge and admire its power. Express your gratitude and respect to it for galvanizing so much of your psychic energy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Dear Rob: For months I've had a recurring dream in which I own a pet snake. Here's the problem: The only cage I have to keep the snake in is sadly inadequate. It has widely spaced bars that the snake just slips right through. In the dream I am constantly struggling to keep the snake in its cage, which is exhausting, since it's impossible. Just this morning, after having the dream for the billionth time, I FINALLY asked myself, what's so terrible about letting the snake out of its cage? So I gratefully wrote myself this permission note: 'It is hereby allowed and perfectly acceptable to let my dreamsnake out of its cage to wander freely.' - Scorpio Devotee." Dear Devotee: You have provided all your fellow Scorpios with an excellent teaching story for the upcoming weeks. Thank you!

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Imagine it's 30 years from now. You're looking back at the history of your relationship with desire. There was a certain watershed moment when you clearly saw that some of your desires were mediocre, inferior, and wasteful, while others were pure, righteous, and invigorating. Beginning then, you made it a life goal to purge the former and cultivate the latter. Thereafter, you occasionally wandered down dead ends trying to gratify yearnings that weren't worthy of you, but usually you wielded your passions with discrimination, dedicating them to serve the highest and most interesting good.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

For million of years, black kite raptors made their nests with leaves, twigs, grass, mud, fur, and feathers. In recent centuries they have also borrowed materials from humans, like cloth, string, and paper. And in the last few decades, a new element has become quite popular. Eighty-two percent of all black kite nest-builders now use white plastic as decoration. I suggest you take inspiration from these adaptable creatures, Sagittarius. It's an excellent time for you to add some wrinkles to the way you shape your home base. Departing from tradition could add significantly to your levels of domestic bliss.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Imagine this scene. You're really thirsty -- so dehydrated that you're feeling faint. Yet here's the weird thing: You're walking along the bank of a wide river that's so clear you could see the bottom if you looked. But you're not looking. In fact, you seem oblivious to the surging force of nature just a few yards away.

Is it invisible to you? Are you so preoccupied with your suffering that you're blind to the very source that would end your suffering?

Up ahead you see a man. As you approach, you realize he's holding a bottle of water. You run to him and beg him to let you drink. He readily agrees. Gratefully, you guzzle the precious liquid, then thank him profusely.

As you walk away, he calls after you, "By the way, there's a lot more water over there," and he points to the river.

Do you hear him? If you hear him, do you believe him? Or do you keep walking, hoping
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

There are many examples of highly accomplished people whose early education was problematical. Thomas Edison's first teacher called him "addled," and thereafter he was homeschooled by his mother. Winston Churchill did so poorly in school he was punished. Benjamin Franklin had just two years of formal education. As for Einstein, he told his biographer, "my parents were worried because I started to talk comparatively late, and they consulted a doctor because of it." What all these people had in common, however, is that they became brilliant at educating themselves according to their own specific needs and timetable. Speaking of which: The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you Capricorns to plot and design the contours of your future learning.

Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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You came into this world as a radiant bundle of exuberant riddles. You slipped into this dimension as a shimmering burst of spiral hallelujahs. You blasted into this realm as a lush explosion of ecstatic gratitude. And it is your birthright to fulfill those promises.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Nigeria has abundant deposits of petroleum. Since 1974, oil companies have paid the country billions of dollars for the privilege of extracting its treasure. And yet the majority of Nigerians, over 70 percent, live on less than a dollar a day. Where does the money go? That's a long story, with the word "corruption" at its heart. Now let me ask you, Aquarius: Is there a gap between the valuable things you have to offer and the rewards you receive for them? Are you being properly compensated for your natural riches? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to address this issue.

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Acquiring problems is a fundamental human need. It's as crucial to your well-being as getting food, air, water, sleep, and love. You define yourself -- indeed, you make yourself -- through the puzzling dilemmas you attract and solve. The most creative people on the planet are those who frame the biggest, hardest questions and then gather the resources necessary to find the answers.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Gawker.com notes that American politician John McCain tends to repeat himself -- a lot. Researchers discovered that he has told the same joke at least 27 times in five years. (And it's such a feeble joke, it's not worth re-telling.) In the coming week, Pisces, pease please please avoid any behavior that resembles this repetitive, habit-bound laziness. You simply cannot afford to be imitating who you used to be and what you used to do. As much as possible, reinvent yourself from scratch -- and have maximum fun doing it.

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In order to live, you've got to be a demolisher. You take plants and animals that were once alive and rip them apart with your teeth, then disintegrate them in your digestive system.

Your body is literally on fire inside, burning up the oxygen you suck into your lungs.

You didn't actually cut down the trees used to make your house and furniture, but you colluded with their demise.

Then there's the psychological liquidation you've done: killing off old beliefs you've outgrown, for instance.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty -- just pointing out that you have a lot of experience with positive expressions of destruction.

Can you think of other forms this magic takes? As an aspiring master of pronoia, it's one of your specialties -- a talent you have a duty to wield with energetic grace.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.