Rightwing talk show host Rush Limbaugh is a person whose ideas and attitudes repel me. But in the dream I had last night, I enjoyed hanging out with him. He was affable and humorous. We had several fun adventures together. Here's how I interpret the dream: It doesn't necessarily mean that Limbaugh is a better human being than my bias allows me to imagine. Rather, I think I'm becoming more relaxed about people I disagree with. I'm less susceptible to being motivated by hatred. I'm able to maintain a live-and-let-live approach to things that used to knock me off center. You're now set up for a similar shift, Aries. I hope you take advantage.

To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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Mythology is replete with tales of substances that can be both curative or harmful, depending on how they are obtained and used. The ancient Greeks believed that Asclepius, founder of medicine, possessed vials of Medusa's blood. "With what had been drawn from the veins of her left side," Robert Graves notes, "he could raise the dead; with what had been drawn from her right side, he could destroy instantly."

What has been a comparable substance or influence in your own life?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

You have entered a phase in your astrological cycle when your best lessons will come from doing hard work. I mean that in the most literal way: intensifying your commitment to doing your job with maximum integrity and intelligence and excellence. But I also mean that you should concentrate on what needs fixing, refinement, and upkeep in other areas of your life. Could your best relationships use some tweaks that would pump up the collaborative energy? Would you consider making a course correction in your spiritual path? Is there any part of your rhythm that could use more discipline and organization?

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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Somewhere in the world is a tree that has been struck by lightning in such a way that the scorch marks reveal your initials. Locate that tree.

Somewhere in the world there is a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that is meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that possesses a revelation only you know how to exploit. Go in search of those things.

Somewhere in the world there is a person who could ask you the precise question you need to hear in order to catalyze the next phase of your evolution. Do what's necessary to run into that person.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I'm getting excited to see what you'll create in the coming weeks. You're slipping into the most expressive groove you've been in for a while. I'm guessing that any minute now your imagination will start churning out a wealth of fresh perspectives and new approaches. Half-rotting problems that have just sat there immobile for weeks or even months will begin morphing into opportunities as you zap them with your frisky grace. Misunderstandings that have festered far too long will get cleansed and salved by your tricky ingenuity. Get the party started!

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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From the window of my office I look down on a blackberry bush whose berries are now ripening. In the last 20 minutes, I've watched a sparrow figure out the best way to feast. At first the bird tried to land on the flimsy branches of the bush, but after a few tries it realized they couldn't hold its weight. Its revised strategy was to grab a single berry in mid-swoop and alight on the branch of a nearby apple tree so it could relax with its meal. It did this 10 times.

Are you willing to collect your reward a little at a time? Explain how you will do it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

As I stood by the creek at dusk, the silhouette of a woman in a kayak came flowing my way. The last crease of the orange sun hovered on the horizon behind her. I spied the reflection of the planet Venus shimmering in the violet water before I saw it in the sky. The temperature was balmy. A translucent spider floated nearby at the end of an airborne silk strand. Nine geese in v-formation trumpeted as they soared overhead. When the woman got close enough for us to see each other's faces, she addressed me. "We win!" she exclaimed jubilantly, then paddled onward. I agreed. We were basking in a great victory, paradise having temporarily descended into our midst. This is the kind of triumph I expect you'll be capable of achieving several times over in the coming week.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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Psychotherapists say it's not only naughty but counterproductive to blame others for your problems. A skilled practitioner urges her clients to accept responsibility for the part they've played in creating their predicaments. The reason is as much pragmatic as it is ethical: When you're obsessed with how people have done you wrong, you have little ambition to change the behavior in yourself that led you into the mess.

While I endorse this approach, I also know that dogmatic adherence to it can warp your mental health as much as any other form of fanaticism. That's why I urge you to enjoy an unapologetic Blame Fest.

Choose a time when you will find fault with everyone except yourself. Howl in protest at the unfair slights people have committed against you. Wallow in self­pity as you visualize the clueless jerks who have done you wrong. For best results, bark your complaints in the direction of no one but God, an inanimate object, or your mirror.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Focus on what's small and slippery, Leo. Turn your gaze away from what's big and obvious. Exult in the salamander on the rock and a friend who has a new trick and the guilty pleasure you just discovered; excuse yourself from obsessing about the state of the economy, the meaning of life, and the clash between science and religion. Your pleasurable duty is to love what's in the midst of changing, and not fixate on trying to make arrangements that will supposedly last forever. Don't just grudgingly attend to the mercurial details; dive in as if playing with them were your central purpose.

Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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There's a three-mile stretch of Interstate 880 south of Oakland, California, that I call the Singing Highway. For reasons I don't understand, it generates low humming melodies every time I drive over it, similar to the guttural chants of Tibetan monks. Sometimes I swear I can even hear lyrics.

Once, as I was driving to the airport on the Singing Highway, I swear I heard the same lyric repeating over and over again: "a shortcut to the path with heart / a shortcut to the path with heart / a shortcut to the path with heart."

Where's the path with heart for you? What would it involve for you to take a shortcut to get on it?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Artists suffer for their work, but they don't mind," read the headline in the San Francisco Chronicle. The attached article featured brief interviews with five artists who all said they enjoy doing their creative work so much that they gladly put up with the privations it causes them. That's the spirit I'd like you to embrace in the coming weeks, Virgo. See if you can immerse yourself in a labor of love with so much enthusiastic devotion that you drive away some of your aches and anxieties.

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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Change the burned-out light bulb.
Water the plants.
Take your multi-vitamin.
Wash the dishes.
Put new batteries in the TV remote.
Bow down to the Great Mystery.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Albert Einstein was extremely famous during his lifetime. Although he had no publicity machine promoting him, his face became an iconic symbol for genius. "Einstein" was, in effect, a brand name that made people think of creativity, wisdom, and imagination. There were times that bothered him. "I am no Einstein," he said, preferring to be his raw self rather than the idol on a pedestal. I offer his example up to you, Libra. You can benefit from slipping away from, ignoring, and even rebelling against your image right now. Return to the source of your ever-evolving life energy.

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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I know a dyke punk witch who loves to rub up against Hasidic Jews in the New York subway when she's menstruating. I know a mischief-maker who sneaked gobs of bacon fat into the broccoli and carrot stir-fry he cooked for his vegetarian friends.

While I'm entertained by the hijinks of these two tricksters, I have more respect for people who mess with their own totems and taboos -- like my anarchist acquaintance who disturbed his fellow agitators by burning his prized black flag in front of them.
Catch my drift? It's more aesthetically pleasing to violate your own damn dogmas, not your neighbor's. Try it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

My proposed assignment for you would be fun, but it wouldn't be easy. It would require you to dissolve at least one of your fixations, escape at least two of your habits, and override at least three of your dogmatic beliefs. I'll completely understand if you're not up for the challenge. But if you're game, read the following excerpt of a poem by Pablo Neruda (translated by Alastair Reid), and incorporate its attitude into your daily rhythm. "I have a mind to confuse things, unite them, make them new-born, mix them up, undress them, until all light in the world has the oneness of the ocean, a generous, vast wholeness, a crackling, living fragrance."

I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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Tantric sex practitioners say an artful lover never makes love the same way twice.

Similarly, chanteuse Billie Holiday believed a good singer should never sing a song the same way twice. If you use all the same phrasing and melody, she said, you're failing your art.

The only Zen master we know -- whose name we can't tell you because she changes it every week, and we haven't heard the latest one—likes to quote the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus: "You cannot step into the same river twice, for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you."

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has the last word: "Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I love to listen to DJ Schmeejay on San Francisco radio station KUSF. Like a throwback to the Golden Age of FM radio in the 1970s, he plays a "visceral, cinematic" mix that delights you with a flow of unpredictable juxtapositions. Unlike some music experts who harbor haughty elitist prejudices, the dude is an open-minded aficionado. His playlist may include a psychedelic tune, flapper-jazz, a pretty pop song, a barbershop quartet, 1960s folk, polka, and trip-hop. He understands that good entertainment keeps you guessing about what's going to come next. I urge you to borrow his approach as you cruise and schmooze in the coming weeks. Charm people with good surprises. Expand your bag of tricks, and use everything in it.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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Nothing primes your ecstatic skill better than invoking and expressing thanks. So consider the possibility of celebrating regular Gratitude Fests. During these orgies of appreciation, you could confer praise and respect on the creatures, both human and otherwise, that have played seminal roles in inspiring you to become yourself. Who teaches and helps you? Who sees you for who you really are? Who nudges you in the direction of your fuller destiny and awakens you to your signature truths? Who loves you brilliantly?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I'm not a big believer in the idea that dreams are prophetic. I've recorded thousands of my own dreams, and just three of them have foreshadowed waking life events that actually occurred. However, I have often found it valuable to regard my dreams as pointers on how to develop unripe aspects of myself. For example, when I was 19 I had a series of dreams suggesting that the best way to become a writer was simply to write at least three hours every day. I acted on those prompts, and they worked. I bring this to your attention, Capricorn, because it's prime time for you to tap into your own dreams for tips on how to create your best possible future.

Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell explores the relationship between mind and body. He thinks you can achieve optimal physical health if you're devoted to shedding outworn self-images. In his book The Shaman's Body, he says, "You have one central lesson to learn -- to continuously drop all your rigid identities. Personal history may be your greatest danger."

Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us, agrees. Raised as a boy, she later became a woman, but ultimately renounced gender altogether. "I love being without an identity," she says. "It gives me a lot of room to play around."

What identities would be healthy, even ecstatic, for you to lose? Describe the fun you'd have if you were free of them.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In his opening comments on an episode of his TV show, Stephen Colbert announced, "I have butterflies in my stomach. I just ate a cocoon quesadilla." If I'm reading the omens correctly, you, too, will soon have fluttering sensations in your gut, but not because of your food choices. Rather, you're likely to be quivery and atwitter due to encounters with the Great Unknown -- arrivals from beyond the Wild Blue Yonder that will blow your mind and recalibrate your philosophy of life. Don't worry. Your appointments with the numinous are likely to be stirring, even awe-inspiring, but not frightening. P.S. You should celebrate the fact that you feel free enough to go exploring so far and wide.

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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I swear the strange woman standing near me at Los Angeles' Getty Museum was having an erotic experience as she gazed upon van Gogh's Irises. She was not touching herself, nor was anyone else. But she was apparently experiencing waves of convulsive delight, as suggested by her rapid breathing, shivering muscles, fluttering eyelids, and sweaty forehead.

Fifteen minutes later, I saw her again in front of Jean-Honoré Fragonard's The Fountain of Love. She was only slightly more composed. In a friendly voice, I said, "This stuff really moves you, doesn't it?" "Oh, yeah," she replied, "I've not only learned how to make love with actual flowers and clouds and fountains, I can even make love with paintings of them."

Do you have any interest in mastering the method in this maestro's madness? Where will you begin?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"If we wish to outline an architecture that conforms to the structure of our soul," wrote Friedrich Nietzsche, "it would have to be conceived in the image of the labyrinth." I take this to mean that clarity, assuredness, and single-mindedness are luxuries the ego may indulge in, but they are not the natural state of our deepest selves. Rather, at our cores, in the essential primal source that sustains us, we are complicated and meandering . . . mysterious and exploratory . . . curious and questioning. In other words, it's perfectly healthy to be in a labyrinthine state of mind. I hope this meditation helps you enjoy your upcoming Season of Soul.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, The Experiment.

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While putting on your shirt or blouse some morning, fasten the top button in the second hole, the second button in the third hole, and so on all the way down. For the rest of the day, preserve this dishevelment with all your composure intact, even in the face of odd stares and snide comments. If anyone says, "Hey, your shirt's buttoned wrong," reply calmly, "No, it isn't. I buttoned it this way on purpose."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.