Free Will Astrology


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of September 16th, 2010

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
When teen pop star Miley Cyrus appeared on David Letterman's late-night TV talk show, band leader Paul Schaeffer asked her if she lip-syncs to pre-recorded music during her performances. Miley replied that no, she never fakes it. For evidence, she said, anyone could go watch a Youtube clip from one of her concerts. Sometimes she sounds terrible, which proves that she's risking the imperfection of actually singing live. I urge you to follow Miley's lead in your own sphere, Aries. In the coming week, you really do need to be as raw as the law allows. Be your authentic self, please -- with no Auto-Tune-like enhancements.


When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Here's Bruce Chatwin in The Songlines: "Aboriginal creation myths tell of the legendary totemic beings who had wandered over the continent in the Dreamtime, singing out the name of everything that crossed their path -- birds, animals, plants, rocks, waterholes -- and so singing the world into existence. Any species can be a Dreaming. A virus can be a Dreaming. You can have a chickenpox Dreaming, a rain Dreaming, a desert-orange Dreaming, a lice Dreaming."

Close your eyes and tune in to the song of a Dreaming species of your choice. Either that, or else pretend you can tune in the song of a Dreaming species.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Here's your mantra: BIG GREEN LUCK EVERYWHERE. I urge you to say it frequently in the coming days. Sing it softly to yourself while you're driving your car or riding on public transportation. Whisper it as a prayer before each meal. BIG GREEN LUCK EVERYWHERE. Chant it in rhythm to your steps as you walk. Murmur it to the tiny angel looking down at you from the ceiling just before you drop off to sleep. Yell it out as you're dancing beneath the sky. BIG GREEN LUCK EVERYWHERE. It'll work its magic even if you don't know exactly why you're saying it or what it means.


Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Fairy tales are full of characters who suffer loss and hardship for trying to be something they're not. If they ever change their ways and accept the truth about themselves, their luck improves dramatically. It's interesting, then, to contemplate the fact that our culture adores film and TV actors, who get extensive training in pretending to be someone other than who they really are. We nurse a similar obsession with politicians, whose specialty resembles that of actors: Their vocation requires them to dissemble constantly.

Are you one of the enthralled? Do you share our collective entrancement with people who lie about themselves for a living? If so, experiment with what happens if you wean yourself. Try being cautious about exposing yourself to influences that might encourage you to be something you're not.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
This is an excellent time for you to revamp your relationship with your body. All the cosmic rhythms are aligned to help you. How should you go about it? The first thing to do is formulate your intentions. For example, would you like to feel more perfectly at home in your body? Would you revel in the freedom of knowing that the body you have is exactly right for your soul's needs? Can you picture yourself working harder to give your body the food and sleep and movement it requires to be at its best? If you have any doubts about how to proceed, ask your body to provide you with clues.


How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In her book Vodou Visions, Sallie Ann Glassman argues that Vodou (the preferred spelling among its practitioners) is an authentic religious tradition worthy of respect. She acknowledges that some of its beliefs may seem unusual. For instance, Vodou's calm, gentle, sweet spirits are not always forces for good, while some of its hot, turbulent, revolutionary spirits are not necessarily bad.

Although not a practitioner of Vodou, Raymond Chandler had some related counsel: "The disease of niceness cripples more lives than alcoholism."

Borrow this meme. Monitor the calm, gentle, sweet spirits in your life for the possibility that they may act as agents of deception or passivity. Be inspired by the creator gods and goddesses of ancient myth, who playfully forged millions of beautiful things using wind, mud, tears, and lightning. Tap into the fiery aspect of your nature that drove you out of your mother's womb and into this world in the hour when you were born.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
While growing up, U.S. president Abraham Lincoln lived in Indiana for 14 years. The Lincoln Boyhood National Memorial commemorates his time there. When my friend Janet was seven years old, her second-grade class visited the place. While strolling around outside, she found a Band-Aid on the ground and excitedly assumed it had once graced a booboo on Old Abe himself. She took it home and secretly used it as a talisman. When she rubbed it on her own wounds, it seemed to have magical healing properties. Only later did she realize that Band-Aids weren't invented until 55 years after Lincoln's death. No matter. The artifact had done a superb job. I predict you will soon find a comparable placebo, Cancerian.


Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something," wrote art critic John Ruskin in his book Modern Painters. "To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion, all in one."

Proposed experiment: Lay aside everything you think you know, suspend your reflex to impose your beliefs on every situation you encounter, and behold the world exactly as it is. Assume that by doing so you can change everything you see into a more beautiful version of itself.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
Afghan farmers grow a lot of poppies -- more than anywhere else in the world. While most of the crop is converted into opium and heroin, it could just as well be used to create poppy seed bagels -- as many as 357 trillion of them by one estimate. The way I see it, Leo, you have a comparable choice ahead of you. A resource that's neutral in its raw or natural state could be harnessed in a relatively good cause or a not-so-good cause. And I bet you will be instrumental in determining which way it goes.


"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Dumb suffering is the kind of suffering you're compulsively drawn back to over and over again out of habit. It's familiar, and thus perversely comfortable. Smart suffering is the kind of pain that surprises you with valuable teachings and inspires you to see the world with new eyes.

While stupid suffering is often born of fear, wise suffering is typically stirred up by love. The dumb, unproductive stuff comes from allowing yourself to be controlled by your early conditioning and from doing things that are out of harmony with your essence. The smart, useful variety arises out of an intention to approach life as an interesting work of art and uncanny game that's worthy of your curiosity.

Come up with two more definitions about the difference between dumb suffering and smart suffering.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
"Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all." German aphorist Georg Christoph Lichtenberg said that, and now I'm offering it for you to use. Are you game? Try this experiment: For seven days, divest yourself of your opinions. And I mean all of them: opinions about politicians, celebrities, immigration reform, rockabilly music, your friends' choices in mates -- everything. For this grace period, be utterly non-judgmental and open-minded and tolerant. Allow everything to be exactly what it is without any need to wish it were otherwise. By experiment's end, you'll probably feel more relaxed than you have in a long time.


I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Traditionally, the Seven Deadly Sins -- actions most likely to wound the soul -- are pride, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, sloth, and covetousness.

But we have formulated a fresh set of soul-­harmers, the Four Foolish Virtues. They are as follows: (1) being analytical to such extremes that you repress your intuition; (2) sacrificing your pleasure through a compulsive attachment to duty; (3) tolerating excessive stress because you assume it helps you accomplish more; (4) being so knowledgeable that you neglect to be curious.

Are you victimized by any of these Four Foolish Virtues? If so, what are you going to do about it?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
The Latin motto "Dulcius ex aspiris" means "Sweetness out of difficulty." It has a different meaning from "relief after difficulty" or "character-building from difficulty." It suggests a scenario in which a challenging experience leads not just to a successful outcome, but also to a delicious, soothing harmony that would not have been possible without the difficulty. This is what I foresee coming for you, Libra.


All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Go to a mirror and play with your face until you create the Fabulous Smirk. Not the Arrogant Smirk or the Vengeful Smirk or the Hateful, Whiny, Passive-Aggressive Smirk. Rather, express the Smirk that Passeth All Understanding. The Wise, Charitable, Forbearing Smirk. The Uber-Smirk that says, "I've figured out what everyone's hiding, and I love them anyway."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
Give the best gifts you can possibly give, Scorpio. Don't hoard any of the intense blessings you have at your disposal. It's time to unveil the fullness of your idiosyncratic generosity . . . to bestow upon the world the naked glory of your complex mojo. Some people will be better able than others to receive and use your zesty offerings, and it's OK to favor them with more of your magnanimity. On the other hand, don't spend too long worrying about the fine points of how to disseminate your wealth. The important thing is to let it flow like a river fresh from eternity.


What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Sometimes hope is an irrelevant waste of time, even a stupid self-indulgence. Let's say, for instance, that I'm intently hoping that a certain disagreeable person I've got to communicate with won't answer when I call on the phone. That way I can simply leave a message on his voice mail and avoid an unpleasant exchange. But it doesn't matter what I hope. The guy will either answer or not, regardless of what I hope.

But there is another kind of hope that's potentially invigorating. Let's say I hope that we humans will reverse the environmental catastrophes we're perpetrating. Let's say that my hope motivates me to live more sustainably and to inspire others to live more sustainably. Then my hope is a catalyst.

Give two examples from your life about the two kinds of hope.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
"Do not think you will necessarily be aware of your own enlightenment," said Zen Buddhist teacher Dogen. Which leads me to say: "Do not think you will necessarily be aware of becoming a role model and potent influence." The way I see it, either of those developments may happen in the coming weeks. Without suffering any pangs of self-consciousness, you could suddenly find yourself thrust into a higher, brighter, more powerful state of being. I doubt there'll be any stress or strain involved. Rather, it will naturally occur while you're being your strong-minded, expansive self, trying simply to rearrange the world to conform to your vision of paradise.


Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Provide evidence proving or disproving the following four hypotheses: 1. If you're not part of the grueling solution, you're probably part of the insidiously comfortable problem. 2. If you're not conspiring to commit smart fun, you're almost certainly colluding with the disingenuous repression. 3. If you're not trying to rally support for a tough investigation, you'll end up assisting the bland cover-up. 4. If you're not mad about how unconstructively you've used your anger in the past, then you won't be motivated to wield it more creatively any time soon.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
Soon it will probably be time for you to wrap up the Season of Exploration. You've surveyed the outlands and fringe areas enough for now, right? I'm guessing that you've reconnoitered the forbidden zones so thoroughly that you may not need to do any more probing. Or am I wrong about this? Am I underestimating your longing to push out to the frontiers and beyond? Maybe your brushes with exotic creatures and tempting adventures have whetted your appetite for even more escapades. I'll tell you what, Capricorn: I'm going to trust your intuition on this one. Are you ready to rein in your risk-taking, or are you hungry for more?


Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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James Hillman and Michael Ventura wrote the book We've Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and the World's Getting Worse. They propose that resolving our problems may not necessarily come from talking about our deep, private feelings with a trusted counselor. Instead, the best approach might be to go out into the world and do good works like helping the underprivileged or fighting for social justice.

Try their approach as a prescription for one of your personal problems.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
When I was living in Los Angeles in the summer of 1986, I had a memorable dream. In the dream, I was dancing with God. As best as I can describe it, the Divine Wow was a female whirlwind exuding cool blue fire and singing ecstatic melodies. Now and then I caught a glimpse of something that resembled a face and body, but mostly she was a sparkling fluidic vortex that I moved in and out of as we floated and tumbled and leaped. The contact was so vivid and visceral that from that day forward I never again said, "I believe in God." My experience was as real as making love with a human being; "belief" was irrelevant. I predict that you will soon have a comparable encounter with a primal force, Aquarius -- whatever passes for "God" in your world.


You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Borrowing the words of poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I've prepared a love note for you to use as your own. Feel free to give it to the person whose destiny needs to be woven more closely together with yours. "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
The eighth-century theologian known as the Venerable Bede compared our existence to a sparrow that flies in the window of a royal castle while the king is enjoying a winter feast with his entourage. Outside, a snowstorm is raging. Inside, there's a big fire in the hearth that keeps everyone warm. But the sparrow doesn't stay in this welcoming place; it quickly flies out another window on the other side of the dining room, refraining from plucking any of the delicious scraps of food the revelers have discarded. Bede says that the sparrow's actions are like ours in our own approach to living our lives. Well, guess what, Pisces: I don't think that will be true for you in the coming months. Judging from the astrological omens, I suspect that once you fly into the feast room, you won't depart like a restless, confused wanderer. You will linger.


Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In The Book of Embraces, Uruguayan author Eduardo Galeano writes, "The fishermen of the Colombian coast must be learned doctors of ethics and morality, for they invented the word sentipensante, or 'feeling-thinking,' to define language that speaks the truth."

Describe a time when you pulled off the feat of thinking with your heart and feeling with your head.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

© Rob Brezsny 1995-2019