"Thou shalt not kill" is a crucial rule for you to follow, and not just in the literal sense. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you should also be extra vigilant as you avoid more metaphorical kinds of destruction. Please be careful not to unleash ill-chosen words that would crush someone's spirit (including your own). Don't douse newly kindled fires, don't burn recently built bridges, and don't deprive fresh sprouts of the light they need to keep growing. To put this all in a more positive frame: It's time for you to engage in a reverent and boisterous celebration of life, nurturing and fostering and stimulating everywhere you go.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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The "Kumulipo" is an old Hawaiian prayer chant that poetically describes the creation of the world. The word literally means "beginning-in-deep-darkness." Here darkness doesn't connote gloom and evil. Rather, it's about the inscrutability of the embryonic state; the obscure chaos that reigns before germination. Talk about the last time you dwelt in kumulipo.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The baseball game was over. TV announcer Mike Krukow was describing the "ugly victory" that the San Francisco Giants had just achieved. The team's efforts were sloppy and chaotic, he said, and yet the win counted just as much as a more elegant triumph. He ended with a flourish: "No one wants to hear about the labor pains; they just want to see the baby." That's my message to you this week, Taurus. All that matters is that you get the job done. It doesn't matter whether you look good doing it.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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Every January 1, many people make New Year's resolutions, promising to embark on programs of self-improvement. But your assignment now, should you choose to accept it, is to create a list of ANTI-resolutions.

Here are some questions to guide you: 1. What outlandish urges and controversial tendencies do you promise to cultivate in the coming months? 2. What nagging irritations will you ignore and avoid with even greater ingenuity? 3. What problems do you promise to exploit in order to have even more fun as you make the status quo accountable for its corruption? 4. What boring rules and traditions will you thumb your nose at, paving the way for exciting encounters with strange attractors?
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Here's the really good news: CIA director Leon Panetta says there are fewer than 100 Al-Qaeda combatants in Afghanistan. Here's the utterly confusing news: The U.S has over 94,000 highly trained human beings in Afghanistan whose express purpose is to destroy Al-Qaeda. I bring this up as a prod to get you to question your own allotment of martial force, Gemini. You definitely need to make sure you have a lavish reserve of fighting spirit primed to serve your highest goals. Just make sure, please, that it's pointed in the right direction.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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Speak the following lines out loud:
I love everything about me
I love my uncanny beauty and my bewildering pain
I love my hungry soul and my wounded longing
I love my flaws, my fears, and my scary frontiers

I will never forsake, betray, or deceive myself
I will always adore, forgive, and believe in myself
I will never refuse, abandon, or scorn myself
I will always amuse, delight, and redeem myself
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Give us this day our daily hunger," prayed French philosopher Gaston Bachelard. It was his personal variation on the "Give us this day our daily bread" line from the Lord's Prayer. I suggest you use his formulation as your own in the coming week, Cancerian. It's the high season for your holy desires: a time when your mental and physical health will thrive as you tune in to and express your strongest, most righteous longings.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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For some seekers, spiritual enlightenment is the ultimate commodity. They believe that through diligent meditation and self-improvement, there will come a day when it will no longer elude their grasp. Breaking through to the singular state of cosmic consciousness, they will forever after own it, free and clear. Permanently illuminated! Never to backslide into the dull ignominy of normal human awareness!

Here's what I have to say about that: It's a delusion.

The fact is, the nature of perfection is always mutating. What constitutes enlightenment today will always be different tomorrow. Even if you're fortunate and wise enough to score a sliver of "enlightenment," it's not a static treasure that becomes your indestructible, everlasting possession. Rather, it remains a mercurial knack that must be continually re-earned.

If you want to befriend the Divine Wow, you must not only be willing to change ceaselessly -- you have to love to change ceaselessly.

Lucky you: All of creation is conspiring to help you live like that.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In a recent horoscope, I wrote about Christopher Owens, lead singer of the band Girls, and how he wore pajama bottoms during a show he did in San Francisco. A reader named Eric was disgusted by this, seeing it as evidence that Owens is a self-indulgent hipster. "Just another spoiled trust-fund kid," he said in his email, "whose excessively privileged life has given him the delusion that he's uninhibited." With a little research, Eric would have found the truth: Owens was raised in an abusive religious cult by a single mother who worked as a prostitute to earn a meager living. I bring this to your attention in hopes it will inspire you to avoid making any assumptions about anyone. More than ever before, it's crucial that you bring a beginner's mind to your evaluations of other human beings.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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The Golden Rule is a decent ethical principle, but it could be even better. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" presumes that others enjoy what you enjoy. But that's wrong. There are many things you'd like to have done unto you that others would either despise or be bored by. Here's a new, improved formulation, which we call the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would like to have you do unto them.

Using this improved formula is not just a virtuous way to live, but is also the best way to ensure the success of your selfish goals. The rituals and spells of various occult orders purport to be supercharged techniques for imposing your personal will on the chaotic flow of events, but I say that practicing the Platinum Rule outstrips all of them as an exercise to enhance your power and happiness.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I want to see your willpower surge and throb and carry you to a ringing triumph in the next two weeks, Virgo. I hope to be cheering you on as you complete a plucky effort to overcome some long-standing obstacle . . . as you put the finishing touches on an epic struggle to defeat a seemingly intractable foe . . . as you rise up with a herculean flourish and put the stamp of your uniqueness on a success that will last a long time.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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HELP WANTED. Practical dreamers with high emotional intelligence needed to become experts in the following subjects: the art of possessing abundant resources without feeling greed or a sense of superiority; the science of cultivating luxurious comfort in a way that does not lead to spiritual sloth; and a knack for enjoying peace and serenity without diluting one's ambition.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The Italian word terribilita was originally used by art critics to describe the sculptures and paintings of Michelangelo. According to various dictionaries, it refers to "a sense of awe-inspiring grandeur," "the sublime mixed with amazement," or "an astonishing creation that provokes reverent humility." In my astrological opinion, terribilita is a prerequisite for the next chapter of your life story. You need to be flabbergasted by stunning beauty. Where can you go to get it? A natural wonder might do the trick, or some exalted architecture, or the biography of a superb human being, or works of art or music that make you sob with cathartic joy. For extra credit, put yourself in the path of all the above.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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Most religions designate a special class of people -- priests, rabbis, ayatollahs -- to oversee official communications with the Source. This has led to a prevailing assumption, even among those who don't follow an established faith, that we can't initiate a divine conversation without the aid of a professional class of trained mediators. Among some sects of the ancient gnostics, in contrast, everyone was regarded as a potential prophet who could experience epiphanies worthy of becoming part of the ever-evolving doctrine.

As you create your own spiritual path, experiment with this approach. What might you do to eliminate the middleman and commune directly with the Source?

Name the ways you already use this approach, and brainstorm about others you might like to try.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In a favorable review of Badger Mountain Riesling wine, Winelibrary.com said, "The sweet succulent aromas of bosc pears are woven with lilacs and just a hint of petrol." Meanwhile, Allure magazine named Secretions Magnifique as one of the top five sexiest perfumes in the world, even though its fragrance is like "floral bilge." Petrol? Bilge? Both commentaries seem to suggest that greatness may contain a taint -- or even that the very nature of greatness may require it to have a trace of something offensive. I'm guessing that'll be a theme for you in the coming week.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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The Indian activist Mahatma Gandhi lead many peaceful rebellions against oppressive governments, first in South Africa and later in British-controlled India. At first he called his strategy "passive resistance," but later disavowed that term because it had negative implications. He ultimately chose the Sanskrit word satyagraha, meaning "love force" or "truth force." "Truth (satya) implies love," he said, "and firmness (agraha) is a synonym for force. Satyagraha is thus the force which is born of truth and love."

Give an example of how you have employed satyagraha in the past, and another example of how you might invoke it in the future.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

During the grace period you're currently enjoying, you have a talent for tuning in to the raw potential of whatever situation is right in front of you; you just naturally know how to establish rapport with circumstances you've never seen before. That's why your spontaneous urges are likely to generate fun learning experiences, not awkward messes. You'll thrive as you improvise adeptly with volatile forces. It may therefore seem like your progress will be easy, even a bit magical. Some people may regard your breakthroughs as unearned. But you and I will know that you're merely harvesting the benefits that come from a long period of honing your powers.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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Say this: "Novel intuitions are now erupting from my smart heart, awakening me from any trance I've been ensnared in. I am hereby breaking and escaping obstructions that have hindered my ability to express my soul's code. All of my unique capacities are being unleashed, all of my potentials activated. I recognize that I'm a miraculous work of art, a masterpiece unlike any other ever created in the history of the world."

Say this: "I am a genius. I am a lucky, plucky, good-sucking genius."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

A few single friends of mine use the dating site OkCupid to meet potential lovers. One woman got the following notice: "We are pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. How can we say this with confidence? Because we've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you . . . Your new elite status comes with one important privilege: You will now see more attractive people in your match results. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results. And, no, we didn't send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend." According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Capricorn, you will soon receive a metaphorically comparable message, not from OkCupid, but from the universe itself.

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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In ancient Rome, gladiator contests were as popular as today's football games. The warriors back then were not hired heroes as they are now, however. They were slaves or convicts who were forced to fight. Even if they won, they were usually required to return and risk their lives another day. Now and then a grizzled veteran of countless struggles-to-the-death was awarded with the ultimate prize: a wooden sword, symbolizing the end of his role as a gladiator and the beginning of his life as a free man. I'm telling you this because I believe you have earned your own personal equivalent of the wooden sword. Make one for yourself.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The liberation movement kindled in the 1960s wasn't all fun and games. It ushered in expansive new ways of thinking about gender, race, sexuality, spirituality, music, and consciousness itself, but it was fueled by anger as well as by the longing for pleasure and meaning and transcendence. A key focus of the rage was opposition to the Vietnam War. The adrenaline stirred by anti-war protests was an instrumental part of the mix that propelled the entire era's push for freedom. I'm hoping that the oil hemorrhage in the Gulf of Mexico will become a similar beacon in the next ten years. Can you think of a comparable prod in your personal life, Aquarius? A gnawing injustice that will help awaken and feed your irresistible drive to emancipate yourself?

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Romney Austin adorned her Honda Civic with her first-ever bumper sticker, "Give Yourself to Love." While proud of announcing her compassionate philosophy to the world, she was also nervous. Hadn't she raised the pressure on herself to live up to her noble ideals?

A week later, she snapped. A guy chatting on a cell phone in a Lexus SUV cut her off in traffic, and road rage moved her to give him a middle-finger salute. Soon she added a new bumper sticker to the left of the first: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On."

When I asked her about the contradiction, she confessed, "I've just accepted that I've got a split personality."

A week later, her conflicting sides reached a compromise. Romney pasted the word "and" in the space between the two stickers, to create a new thought: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On, and Give Yourself to Love." She called to announce the good news: "I'm whole again!"
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Here's a thought from Piscean poet W.H. Auden: "The image of myself which I try to create in my own mind in order that I may love myself is very different from the image which I try to create in the minds of others in order that they may love me." If what Auden describes is true for you, I suggest you try this experiment: Merge the two images; see if you can make them the same. You're entering a phase in your cycle when you will have a tremendous opportunity to unify the inner and outer parts of your life. (And if Auden's description is not true for you, congratulations: You are either an enlightened saint or well on your way to becoming one.)

Seven months ago, I provided several horoscopes that previewed the coming year for you. Would you like to check back with them now? Want to see whether they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving these past seven months? You can also still hear my AUDIO PREVIEW of YOUR DESTINY for the REST of 2010. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010."

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Every act of genius, Carl Jung said, is an act contra naturam: against nature. Indeed, every effort to achieve psychological integration and union with the divine requires a knack for working against the grain. The 18th-century mystic Jacob Boehme recommended the same technique. The great secret to becoming enlightened, he said, is "to walk in all things contrary to the world." Qabalist teacher Paul Foster Case agreed: "The basis of the spiritual approach to life, the foundation of the everyday practice of a person who lives the life of obedience to esoteric law, is the reversal of the more usual ways of thinking, speaking and doing."

Name the ways you already use this approach, and brainstorm about others you might like to try.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.