All of us have gaps in our education. You and I and everyone else alive have dank pockets of ignorance that diminish our humanity and musty pits of naivete that prevent us from seeing truths that are obvious to others. We all lack certain skills that hold us back from being more fulfilled in our chosen fields. That's the bad news, Aries. The good news is that the gaps in your education will be up for review in the coming weeks -- which means that it'll be an excellent time to make plans to fill them. Here's a good way to get started: Be aggressive in identifying the things that you don't even know you don't know.

I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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Discordianism is one of the rare religions that takes account of Ralph Abraham's assertion that heart physiologists find more chaos in the healthy heart than in the sick heart. Here's a sampling of Discordian tenets. 1. Everyone is a saint, especially you. 2. Meditation consists primarily of cruising around looking for good luck. 3. Eating hot dog buns is prohibited, except on Friday, when it's compulsory. 4. When you're stuck in a rut, you must speak in tongues, handle snakes, and experience phantasmagoria. 5. Your guardian angel loves you better when your room is a mess. 6. Bowling alleys are sacred; you must protect them from ­desecration. 7. The Goddess will solve all your problems if you solve all hers.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

You don't have to answer to anybody this week, Taurus. You don't have to defend yourself, explain yourself, or compromise yourself. I mean, you can do those things if you want to be super extra nice, but there won't be any hell to pay if you don't. It's one of those rare times when you have more power than usual to shape the world in accordance with your vision of what the world should be. I'll go so far as to say that the world needs you to be very assertive in imposing your will on the flow of events. Just one caveat: Mix a generous dose of compassion in with your authoritative actions.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you.

For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery.

Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.

When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage.

Dream you're a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall.

Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you.

Buy seven used gowns worn to the Academy Awards show by famous actresses, and send them gratis to seven Guatemalan teenagers.

Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river.

Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

When Paul McCartney first got the inspiration to write the song "Yesterday," he had the melody and rhythm but couldn't get a feel for what the lyrics should be. For a while, as he was waiting for the missing words to pop into his brain, he used nonsense stand-in phrases. The dummy version of the first line was "Scrambled eggs, oh my dear, you have such lovely legs." This approach could be useful for you in the coming weeks, Gemini. As you create a fresh approach or novel departure in your own life, you might want to show the patience McCartney did. Be willing to keep moving ahead even though you don't have the full revelation quite yet.

Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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You're a star -- and so am I. I'm a genius -- and so are you. Your success encourages my brilliance, and my charisma enhances your power. Your victory doesn't require my defeat, and vice versa. Those are the rules in the New World -- quite unlike the rules in the Old World, where zero-sum games are the norm, and only one of us can win each time we play.

In the New World, you don't have to tone down or apologize for your prowess, because you love it when other people shine. You exult in your own excellence without regarding it as a sign of inherent superiority. As you ripen more and more of your latent aptitude, you inspire the rest of us to claim our own idiosyncratic magnificence.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I suspect you're going to feel a bit constrained in the coming weeks, Cancerian -- maybe even imprisoned. I suggest you make the best of it. Rather than feeling sorry for yourself and spiraling down into a dark night of the soul, try this: Imagine that you're a resourceful hermit who's temporarily under house arrest in an elegant chalet with all the amenities. Regard this "incarceration" as a chance to start work on a masterpiece, or upgrade your meditation practice, or read a book you've needed an excuse to lose yourself in. Believe it or not, your "deprivation" could be one of the best things that has happened to you in a while.

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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At the heart of the pronoiac way of life is an apparent conundrum: You can have anything you want if you'll just ask for it in an unselfish way. The trick to making this work is to locate where your deepest ambition coincides with the greatest gift you have to give. Figure out exactly how the universe, by providing you with abundance, can improve the lot of everyone whose life you touch. Seek the fulfillment of your fondest desires in such a way that you become a fount of blessings.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I won't be surprised if people begin to compete for your attention. There may even be some pushing and shoving as they jostle to get closer to you. At the very least, you can expect a flurry of requests for your time and energy. What's this all about? Well, your worth seems to be rising. Either your usefulness is flat-out increasing or else those who've underestimated you in the past are finally tuning in to what they've been missing. So here's my question and concern: Will you get so seduced by what everyone asks you to give them that you lose sight of what you really want to give them? I suspect there will be a difference.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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You want hot gold secrets to ripen in your dark candy soul? Then study the ocean's electricity for its teachings about moon victories. Extract a fresh green why from the book of storms you never actually read as a child.

Then, when the lilies' clouds soar over your shadow, your listening will grow tougher and wetter. When the night's chanting sky reveals the birth memories that even time had forgotten, you'll know exactly how to look through the sun to the other side of your best fear.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I'm not saying that you should create a superhero identity for yourself and embark on a campaign to combat injustice. But if you've ever wondered whether the life of a costumed crusader is right for you, it's an excellent time to experiment. Your courage will be expanding in the coming weeks. Your craving for adventure will be strong, too. Even more importantly, your hunger to do good deeds that reach beyond your own self-interest will be growing. Interested? Check out the Superhero Supply website to get yourself operational. It's here.

To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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Robert Anton Wilson defined information as data and ideas that are new to you. If it's something you already know, then it's propaganda or dogma, not information.

Terence McKenna had a similar view. He used the terms "information" and "novelty" interchangeably. If you're not surprised, he said, if your curiosity isn't piqued, then the messages streaming your way don't qualify as information.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

All 26 of Edgar Rice Burroughs' stories about Tarzan are set in Africa, but he never once visited that continent. And Bram Stoker didn't feel the need to travel to the Transylvanian region of Romania in order to write about it in his novel Dracula. But I don't recommend this approach to you in the coming weeks, Libra. If you want to cultivate something new in your life by drawing on an exotic influence, I think you should immerse yourself in that exotic influence, at least for a while. If you want to tap into the inspiration available through an unfamiliar source, you need to actually be in the presence of that unfamiliar source.

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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Having ridden my mountain bike through Marin County's hills for years, I've watched the central shrine, Mt. Tamalpais, go through thousands of changes. Depending on the weather, the season, and the time of day, it has been a different event on each occasion I've seen it. When the low-slung sun illuminates the thin layer of mist covering it late on a winter afternoon, it's not the same mountain that lies beneath a full moon beaming down on it through a hole in the streaming clouds on a summer night.

The realist in me says I'd be justified in giving it a new name each time I'm in its presence.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Why would you choose this bright, sunny moment to descend into the dark places and explore the fermenting mysteries? What renegade impulse would move you to turn away from the predictable pleasures and easy solutions, and instead go off in quest of more complex joys and wilder answers? Here's what I have to say about that: I think you long to be free of transitory wishes and fleeting dreams for a while so that you can get back into alignment with your deeper purposes. You need to take a break from the simple obsessions of your grayish, poker-faced ego, and re-attune yourself to the call of your freaky, evergreen soul.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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In her book Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes suggests that we all need to periodically go cheerfully and enthusiastically out of our minds. Make sure, she says, that at least one part of you always remains untamed, uncategorizable, and unsubjugated by routine. Be adamant in your determination to stay intimately connected to all that's inexplicable and mysterious about your life.

At the same time, though, Estes believes you need to keep your unusual urges clear and ordered. Discipline your wildness, in other words, and don't let it degenerate into careless disorder.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Sufi holy man Ibn 'Ata Allah was speaking about prayer when he said the following: "If you make intense supplication and the timing of the answer is delayed, do not despair of it. His reply to you is guaranteed; but in the way He chooses, not the way you choose, and at the moment He desires, not the moment you desire." While I don't claim to be able to perfectly decipher the will of the divine, my astrological research suggests that you will soon get a definitive answer to a question you've been asking for a long time. It may come softly and quietly, though, and from a direction you don't expect, and with a nuance or two that'll test your reflexes.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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"The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words," said Terence McKenna in Alien Dreamtime, "and that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish." Here's my version of that hypothesis: What world you end up living in depends at least in part on your use of language.

Do you want to move and breathe amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Constantly materialize and entertain angry thoughts in the privacy of your own imagination, beaming silent curses out into eternity.

Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with fluid epiphanies and intriguing coincidences and mysterious harmonies? Then be discerning and inventive in how you speak, primed to name the unexpected codes that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Turn your imagination into an ebullient laboratory where the somethings you create out of nothings are tinctured with the secret light you see in your dreams of invisible fire.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Is Fast Food Too Tempting?" read a headline in The Week magazine. The accompanying article discussed whether people have the right to blame and even sue McDonald's and Burger King for their health problems. In my opinion, we might as well add other allegedly appealing poisons to the discussion. "Is heroin too tempting?" "Is cheating on your lover or spouse too tempting?" "Is watching TV five hours a day too tempting?" I hope you're seeing where I'm going with this, Capricorn. The coming weeks will be a good time to take personal responsibility for any supposedly fun activity you're doing that warps your character or saps your energy. It's prime time to end your relationship with stuff that's bad for you.

Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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Is there really such a thing as free will, or are our destinies shaped by forces beyond our control?

Here's one way to think about that question: Maybe some people actually have more free will than others. Not because they have more money. (Many rich folks are under the spell of their instincts, after all.) Not because they have high-status positions. (A boss may have power over others but little power over himself.)

Rather, those with a lot of free will have earned that privilege by taking strong measures to dissolve the conditioning they absorbed while growing up. They've acted on the advice of psychologist Carl Jung: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"The mind loves order, the heart loves chaos, and the gut loves action," says my astrological colleague Antero Alli. The ideal situation is to honor each of these needs, keeping them in a dynamic balance. But now and then, it's healthy to emphasize one over the other two. According to my astrological analysis, you're entering one of those times when the heart's longing for chaos should get top priority. But if you do choose to go this way, please promise me one thing: Do your best to tilt toward the fascinating, rejuvenating kind of chaos and tilt away from the disorienting, demoralizing kind.

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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In 1971, astronaut Edgar Mitchell was the sixth person to walk on the moon. Since then he has cultivated an interest in matters that hard-core fundamentalist materialists like to call "the paranormal."

He once asked Buddhist lama Norbu Chen to attempt a psychic healing of his mother, who was legally blind. Norbu's magic worked. Mom's sight returned, and she was ecstatic.

A few days later, however, she made a discovery that horrified her: Norbu wasn't a Christian like she was. "My mother believed that if such healing didn't come from a Christian," says Mitchell, "then it must come from Satan, and she didn't want to be healed by Satan."

She soon had a dramatic relapse, completely losing the gift Norbu had bestowed. (Source: Kindred Spirit magazine, Summer 1997)
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

When people are truly dehydrated, the impulse that tells them they're thirsty shuts down. That's why they may not know they're suffering from a lack of water. In a metaphorically similar way, Pisces, you have been deprived so long of a certain kind of emotional sustenance that you don't realize what you're missing. See if you can find out what it is, and then make measured (non-desperate!) plans to get a big, strong influx of it. The cosmic rhythms will be on your side in this effort!

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, You Are a Prophet.

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The bumper sticker I saw said, "Having abandoned my search for the truth, I'm now looking for a good fantasy." Though it's meant to be sarcastic, it's a useful piece of advice.

Consider this hypothesis: The truth is so complicated and ever-shifting that it's impossible to pin down. Why try to understand the nature of reality when it's more productive and interesting to aggressively create the nature of reality? Why be preoccupied with conjuring up concepts to approximate the structure of the universe when the point is that we change everything we observe merely by looking at it?

As another bumper sticker says, "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.